I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters.  Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect.  And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them.  However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway).  Granted, if you're not lookin...

If you've watched your fair share of romantic movies or devoured a romance novel or two, this scene may be all too familiar to you by now: The handsome male lead doing everything in his power to sweep his love interest off her feet -- writing her poems, buying her chocolates, planting a kiss at the end of the night.  And even if the pair are already in a relationship together, it's the man who tends to be portrayed as the one responsible for making his partner feel beautiful and valued.  While it's certainly true that a guy should strive to make his lady feel appreciated, it goes the other way as well. Men may not show it, but they, too, yearn to feel desired, to feel needed. They love receiving compliments, being told they're attractive, and being chased by their significant other every now and then. This, of course, extends to the bedroom. Men like for their partner to initiate and take control when least expected. But even so small a gesture as a call or text to tell...

It's a question asked of me quite often. In the rough-and-tumble that is the dating world, do you stand out if you actually care less? Well, that depends on the people we're dealing with. Take a blonde bombshell who gets asked out all the time, with guys buying her flowers and candy left and right. Then, out of nowhere comes an attractive guy who isn't swooning over her. Though friendly, he treats her as he would any other woman he meets. She doesn't know for sure whether he's interested in her -- something she, quite frankly, is unaccustomed to -- and that piques her interest. The guy is effectively posing a challenge, and she's compelled to unearth why he doesn't allow himself to be made putty in her hands like all the other chumps do. That being said, giving off a more non-chalant vibe might work when the target is very attractive and has no shortage of options to choose from. Some people perceive those who give them the cold shoulder to...

The dating world has left many men utterly disillusioned. Despite the fact that they seem to be doing everything right -- they have a good job, drive a nice car, and look their very best -- they continue to strike out with woman after woman. They perceive landing dates as being much more arduous for them than it is for the women they're after, who seem to reject potential suitors at will.  But is dating really an uphill climb for all men and a breezy walk in the park for all the ladies? I feel this view is a tad simplistic. If approaching this subject in the context of traditional gender roles -- where the man is the pursuer and is thereby forced to risk rejection -- it may seem like women are always in the driver's seat. After all, women get far more hits on dating apps/sites like Tinder, right? But this presupposes that women enjoy all the attention they're getting, and that just isn't the case. For one, women don't find all the men reach...

While there are always exceptions, women are generally drawn to men who exude self-confidence. Some of you guys may be scratching your heads and asking, "Wait, I thought women were mostly attracted to men who are nice to them and possess resources (money, cars. etc.)?" This, unfortunately, is a rather common misconception that has caused many men to strike out in the dating arena. You can't expect to buy a woman's affections with compliments, flowers, and jewelry. Women can easily sense when a guy is trying to sweet-talk and spend his way into her heart (and pants). Women are attracted to men who show interest in them, sure, but in a more measured manner. If you tell a woman after only three dates that you love her and look forward to your wedding day, you'll do nothing but scare her off. If, however, you maintain a little mystery about you while exhibiting self-confidence, you're sure to keep her on her toes. Women are drawn to self-confident ...

If you're like many jaded people out there in the dating world, you've just about had it in your quest to find true love. You've lost track of the seemingly innumerable men or women you've gone on fruitless dates with. A prospect seems promising enough in the beginning, but it all comes crashing down following an unsettling discovery -- she's been cheating on you all along, he isn't the thoughtful romantic that drew you in during the courtship and instead just wants to get in your pants, she's an unapologetic gold digger. You've grown tired of it all: the lies, the false appearances, the heartache, endless disappointment. As tempting as it may be to throw in the towel, you'll never find that special someone -- however elusive -- if you give up. Instead, take some time to assess your love life and answer the following questions: What do you feel you've done right?  What do you think you've done wrong?  In which areas is there room...

Women, especially very attractive ones who have countless guys chasing after them, can't help but feel totally attracted to men who challenge  them. Now, a distinction should be made between challenging women and playing games with them. If not returning texts and trying to make the woman jealous is his idea of challenging her, he's in for a rude awakening. As surprising as it may seem to some men, women don't want to feel or be told they're right all the time. They want a man to stand up for what he believes in, even if it ruffles her feathers and runs contrary to her longstanding beliefs or opinions. Why? Because it betrays a sense of confidence , which women find irresistible. It conveys that whether or not she agrees with him, he's going to speak his mind -- in a firm if diplomatic manner. Many men avoid doing this for fear that she'll get upset and lose interest. But this couldn't be farther from the truth. The last thing a woman wants...

Picture this: After a long drought on the dating front, Rachel's well-meaning friends and relatives are fixing her up on dates left and right. She's narrowed her options down to two guys: (1) Kevin, a wealthy tax attorney who calls and sends her romantic text messages several times a day, or (2) Alex, a self-confident but modestly paid construction worker who has more hobbies and talents than he can count with both hands. Whom do you think Rachel is more likely to go for? At first blush, one might be tempted to say Kevin, only because he seems to be on firmer financial ground. That may very well be the case if Rachel is an unapologetic gold digger. But chances are that she's taking several factors beyond his bank account into consideration.  Kevin can have all the money in the world, but if he has no self-confidence, Rachel is unlikely to be drawn to him. If there's one attribute most women want in a man, it's self-confidence . Boldness. One who...

According to a recent survey, many women still want their partner to be the primary breadwinner -- or at least make as much money as they do. More than 1 in 5 women -- or 22% -- say they wouldn't date someone who makes less money than them. That's compared with 4% of men who said they wouldn't date someone who earns less than they do. Another study found 69% of women said they'd feel uncomfortable paying all the bills compared with 46% of men. These findings aren't all that surprising. Despite the shrinking gender wage gap and more women rising to high-level executive positions, women still make less money than men for the same jobs -- 83 cents on the dollar. Thus, it follows that many women prefer having a partner whom they don't have to support. But women who are this picky may be missing out on great opportunities out in the dating realm. Even if he makes slightly less money, a man may make a great partner. Other variables should certainly be we...

In my last post, I argued that men's biggest complaint about women is that they generally don't know what they want in the arena of relationships. Some claim to want a nice, sweet guy, but they still end up with the exact opposite. What they say they want and what they actually go for don't always square. Does this mean that all women have a preference for bad boys? Nope, not at all. What all women do want, as I pointed out in that earlier post, is a man with confidence. Because these bad boy types exude self-confidence (sometimes women mistake cockiness for confidence, however), women find themselves drawn to them. A guy can still be nice and romantic as long as he does it in small doses. No woman wants a man to worship the ground she walks on, as it communicates that the guy is needy and trying to supplicate to her. That just isn't the way to build attraction. A guy who doesn't seem sure of himself and always looks to his partner for approval is not do...

I scolded a male friend of mine recently for making a stereotypical remark about women: That they all take forever to get ready, whether for work or any social occasion.  To support his argument, he added that all his girlfriends have made a habit of telling him they won't take that long but wind up taking an hour, if not more. I responded that it says more about the women he's dating than about the female population as a whole. Not all women are this high maintenance. Take my wife, for example. Even if she's dressing up for a wedding, party, or other social event, she's usually done getting ready in under an hour. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with women who like to take their time. But to say all women are this way just isn't accurate. It's like saying that all men get ready in a flash. I know some guys who spend a good amount of time applying spray/gel to and combing their hair until they're satisfied. They can also be finick...

Studies show that far more women are skipping marriage today than was the case two, even three decades ago. Plus, what many women are saying on social media regarding the perils of tying the knot corroborates these findings. This morning, I was sifting through posts on the Facebook page for Psychology Today. One of them posed an intriguing question: Do women these days still find great value in getting married? Judging from the comments to the post, many of them do not. One woman stated plainly that after dating several non-committal men, she's grown tired of pushing marriage on these guys with nothing to show for it. Another said that she refuses to take the plunge again after being cheated on by two of her husbands. Still another admitted that she's never wanted to be tied down, instead valuing the flexibility of singlehood. For many women, the perks of being married -- like additional tax and insurance benefits -- just aren't sufficient to offset the problems tha...

I've noticed over the years that men and women tend to be completely different creatures in the morning. While men tend to be a bit quieter and slower to get in the swing of things, women are already chatting it up as soon as they get to the office. When I arrive, I usually stop by the restroom on my way to my cubicle. It's rare for me to hear the voice of a man in the lobby or hallways prior to 10 a.m. Rather, the chatter of women -- sometimes groups of three or more -- fills the air. I know you can't put all men and women in these two separate buckets. It's just a general observation I've made at the offices I've worked in, not to mention at home: My wife is always more disposed to conversing in the morning than I am. Not until I eat breakfast and have some time to stretch my limbs do I feel ready to face the day. For some reason, women seem to be perkier and more energetic in the morning than their male counterparts. You'll find my boss and anot...

Just last Friday, my boss and I sat down for my annual review. She had great things to say, including the fact that she has seen me "grow immensely" in the last year or two. Mind you, I've been with the company for close to five years. It isn't as if she went by hard data or any accomplishment lists to arrive at such a conclusion, for I provided none. I don't work any harder than I did a couple of years ago. So why is she so certain that I've demonstrated growth on the job? I think perception  -- the state of becoming aware of something through the senses -- is at play here. What is perceived as real can be more powerful than reality itself . The lenses through which we each see the world are dissimilar. I may perceive you to be a shy, rude, or arrogant person, but perhaps your neighbor views you as warm and happy-go-lucky. You may be phoning it at your job or in your relationship, but as long as your boss or partner "thinks" you're put...

I read an article today in Preservation magazine that sheds light on one of the country's little-known gems. Set in a small community roughly 34 miles from Cleveland, Oberlin College is a private liberal arts college steeped in history. It was founded in 1833 by John Jay Shipherd and Philo P. Stewart, both Presbyterian ministers. The college was built on 500 acres of land donated by the previous owners: Titus Street, founder of Streetsboro, Ohio, and Samuel Hughes, who resided in Connecticut. Its namesake city, Oberlin, was known as an abolitionist stronghold. In fact, it served as a major stop on the Underground Railroad. Oberlin College is distinguished as the first college in the United States to admit African-American students (1835) and to offer bachelor's degrees to women (1841) in a coeducational program. The Allen Memorial Art Museum, designed by renowned architect Cass Gilbert (who also designed the Woolworth Building in New York, the world's tallest build...

Many people say that men have it made: they're physically stronger than women, don't have to give birth, and enjoy better salaries and promotion opportunities in the business world. The statistics below, however, might cause these people to reassess whether being a man is really all it's cracked up to be: Nine out of 10 prison inmates are men Among the homeless, men outnumber women by at least three to one Men are 10 times more likely to commit murder than women are Men are 10 times more likely to show up at the low end of distributions of IQ scores Men are more likely to be mentally retarded than women Men are more likely to abuse and abandon their kids  Men are less likely than women to take care of aging/ill parents Men outscore women on measures of closed-mindedness, cruelty, narcissism, hostility, and self-indulgence Men pay more than women for car insurance Men die earlier than women (about five years earlier on average) I think the above statistics s...

I'm currently reading a book titled "Brand Sense" by Martin Lindstrom. Once I finish the book, I will post an entry highlighting the many interesting insights I gleaned from the book. In the interim, though, I wanted to share one of the most interesting findings I've come across in the book thus far, and it relates to women and cars. Did you know that women respond more to the feel and texture of a car's interior than they do to its external features? I couldn't help but compare this to the manner in which women supposedly become attracted to a man. We've all heard it time and time again: That women are mostly attracted to what's inside -- they don't get as hung up on looks as men do. (Meanwhile, men do seem to make a bigger fuss about a car's exterior features -- from rims to the grille.) As it turns out, women place a great deal of importance on how the car smells (ah, nothing like that new car scent, right?), the feel of the upho...

I know that the answer to this question depends on a whole host of factors, including one's choice of career (lawyers will probably smell and look cleaner than construction workers), whether or not a person has children (parents to a newborn might have less time to shower), and so on. But a study conducted in 2007 by the University of Arizona found that women have three to four times as much bacteria on their personal belongings (desks, phones, keyboards, computers, etc.) as men do. This was attributed to the fact that women not only have more interactions with children, but they keep more food on or near their desks. I know the latter point to be true -- women have more of a tendency to snack at work than my male coworkers do. The other issue, per the study, is makeup. Hand lotions and cosmetics make prime germ-transfer agents. Women also tend to dig into their purses, picking up dust and germs in the process. The truth is that I've smelled body odor on both men and wome...

The wait is over, ladies -- now you'll have your own little pink pill to bring back your sex drive (if need be)! On Tuesday, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved flibanserin for the treatment of sexual dysfunction in premenopausal women. (It will be sold under the name Addyi.) This is the first FDA-approved treatment for sexual desire in men or women. While some might consider it the female version of Viagra, Addyi is really in a category of its own. Viagra treats sexual desire -- it does not induce sexual desire. On the other hand, Addyi works on the central nervous system, which is why it falls into the same category as an antidepressant. Common side effects range from nausea and fatigue to dizziness and insomnia. Those who consume alcohol while taking Addyi are at higher risk for severe low blood pressure, which can lead to a temporary loss of consciousness. Addyi will cost about the same per month as a one month supply of Viagra for men. As with all other medi...

I recently had a conversation with a lady friend of mine in which she asserted that the next man she dates will have to be rich. I've also seen comments to Facebook posts in which some women reply with posts like, "it'd be better if he were a millionaire." It isn't always easy to distinguish between women who are flat-out gold diggers, and those who insist on a rich man only because they themselves dated moochers who took them for all they're worth. As you've probably noted in many of my posts, I am a big supporter of women's rights, especially when it comes to equal pay and equitable treatment in the workplace. However, I think women who use men for their money undermine those who genuinely want to work hard to progress in their respective jobs-- the women who aim to show their male bosses that they're deserving of the salaries their male colleagues earn. Gold diggers come off as lazy and entitled, giving some men more fodder not to com...