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This is the ultimate test of a friendship

Do you sense that you and a close friend have been drifting apart? Maybe you only connect via text or FaceTime on birthdays and other special occasions whereas before your spouses had to beg each of you to get off the phone every day. Or, perhaps you met up for lunch once a week and now you're lucky if you can convene once a year. Take heart: It happens in many a friendship. What truly puts friendships to the test is when both people find themselves in different stages of life. Or, they can be in the same stage of life and just be too preoccupied to attend to one another like they did in the heyday of the friendship. This can include one or both individuals: Getting a new (and more demanding) job.  Moving to a different city.  Making new friends.  Hooking up with/marrying someone. Having children. Taking up new hobbies and interests. As people get older, their priorities do change, which leaves less time for friendships. But in the strongest f...

Ever miss how your friends USED TO be?

In life, you can mourn the loss of a friend in two ways: 1. He or she passes away 2. He or she becomes a completely different person over time, diluting and possibly ending your once-fantastic friendship. (The friendship may also end as a result of simmering conflict or following a big argument between you two.) For this post, I'll focus only on #2. As I have noted in prior posts, with people, the only constant in life is change. Changing circumstances -- a new career, marriage, children, relocation -- redirect our energies and either leave us with limited time for friendships or prompt us to forge new ones. People like me, despite whatever life throws at us, make the effort to keep in touch with close friends. I'd like to think that I haven't changed much since high school, except for the obvious (married, full time job, mortgage, etc.). Unfortunately, some people are better than others at balancing the demands of work, family, and a social life. Several people ...