Sometimes it isn't that someone has changed, but that now you see them for who they really are. It can be disappointing to realize that someone whom you held in high esteem -- whether an old friend or relatively new girlfriend -- isn't as you imagined. Maybe you've noticed a pattern of lies, throwing cold water on the rosy impression you'd built of them in your mind. Perhaps they'd hidden the fact that they have a massive heap of debt, a never-before-mentioned ex who continues reaching out to them, or aspirations of moving to Europe in a year. Do some people change for the worst over time? In some instances, yes. It's possible they could grow complacent, envious, or flat-out bitter in the relationship, and things like alcohol and stress at work may be culprits -- though they're certainly not valid reasons for bad behavior. But in other cases, they manage to put up a front -- rather effectively, I might add -- that may persist for years. The p...

Whether they've been with their partner for 6 months or 20 years, people may hit a rough patch in their relationship, causing them to question whether they're falling out of love.  Sometimes it's a matter of injecting variety and excitement into a relationship where both partners share a deep bond, but have become far too complacent for their own good. And other times they realize that their feelings, unfortunately, are no longer what they used to be, and it would be better to move on.  All one has to do to determine whether they truly love their significant other is to imagine their partner in the arms of another man or woman.  If such a thought makes their blood boil, it's likely they do love their partner. If, however, it engenders no such feelings of anger or jealousy, it's plain to see there is no love to speak of.  In addition, we ought to ask ourselves whether we can picture ourselves with a different partner. If that thought makes you sad, y...

My wife and I have been together for 12-and-a-half years, of which over three have been as a married couple. I often reflect on the beginning of the relationship, which was surely a magical time. We were both juniors in college with ample butterflies in our stomachs. Our relationship came as something of a surprise, as we had met in the 6th grade and didn't see or speak to one another again until the year we hooked up -- which, by the way, came almost a decade later after reconnecting on MySpace! Now that we've been married and living together for several years, it's easy to see how different things are from the way they were when we got together. Aside from the obvious (e.g., you're not as embarrassed to fart in front of one another), you essentially become a team once you're married -- one that has far more important things to worry about than simply choosing what movie to watch or restaurant to dine at. From bills to helping the kids with homework, marri...

I currently work as a copywriter in the travel industry. While I have a stable job in a stable company that has been around since the 70s, I've realized that, after several years in the same position, I have hit something of a wall. I no longer feel challenged in this role; my creativity is being stifled and my skills have flatlined. It'd be easy for me to rest on my laurels and continue showing up merely for a paycheck. But I know I can do better. I'm too young to get complacent. That's why I've begun looking within my company -- and outside of it -- for other opportunities. My ultimate goal is to find a position that's more writing-intensive than the one I'm in now. I've also refused to let a sense of complacency seep into my marriage. Traveling to a new destination once a year has helped keep it fresh and exciting. I also do my best to take my wife to different restaurants, parks, and other venues every once in a while. If I ever feel as t...

One of the main reasons why relationships suffer or ultimately fail is because people become way too complacent in them. They stop doing the things that they did to attract the other person in the first place. That includes everything from staying fit and dressing nicely to being romantic and surprising your partner with little gifts. Thankfully, my relationship with my wife is still going strong after 10 years. (We've been married for close to two years now.) Still, it's evident we've become comfortable in our relationship. For the most part, the "cutesy" things we used to do for each other have taken a back seat to the responsibities of married life -- bills, laundry, and so on. That doesn't mean we don't love each other. It means that our relationship has evolved and matured. And we each still do nice things for each other, if sparingly. For example, I might surprise her with a romantic dinner at a charming restaurant, and she might cook my favorite...

Or so it seems... Have you noticed that many people only seem to show interest in you when you show little to none in them? It's like the pendulum has to swing one way or the other. Achieving equilibrium isn't easy, whether we're talking about friendships or relationships. The key reason why this happens is because human beings not only have a tendency to become complacent in their friendships or relationships, but they often take the other person for granted. Once we see someone willing to bend over backwards for us, we perceive it as weakness and try to exploit that vulnerability as much as we can. I'm not saying all people do this, but many of us do. So what happens when you do the opposite -- that is, act indifferent?  The less emotionally invested one person seems to be, the more leverage he or she holds. In other words, he who cares least -- or is perceived as such -- has more power in the relationship. There's always going to be someone who compla...

Judging from what people seeking my advice tell me, it seems relationships fall apart for three key reasons: 1. Lack of trust: Whether because of lying or cheating, it isn't always easy to restore trust once it's been compromised. When it gets to the point where you simply can't confide in the other person, the relationship is doomed to fail. 2. Lack of communication: Problems in the relationship that stem from a lack of trust (see #1) can sometimes be resolved when people put their feelings on the table and are open to compromise. But when even open communication isn't feasible, it signals that the relationship may be on its last legs. 3. Getting too lazy and comfortable: Once we've been with someone for a long time, it's normal to become complacent in the relationship. Gone are the days when you worked on your physique to impress your partner and surprised her with flowers and candlelight dinners. In order to keep the relationship from stagnating, it...