If you find yourself falling for someone who won't commit, you might want to put on the brakes before getting in too deep. That is, of course, if you're seeking a serious, long-term relationship. Why might a person refuse to commit? It could be a myriad of reasons. They may have gotten burned by an ex and have resolved to put up protective walls. They may want to retain their independence, whether because of a demanding job or their wanting to hang out with friends. Maybe they have children they wish to prioritize following the passing of their spouse.  Whatever the case, they have every right not to get locked into a commitment they don't want, and you should appreciate it when they're thoughtful enough to come forward from the outset. The problem comes when people vacillate between wanting and not wanting a serious commitment. Maybe they say they don't, but their actions -- from calling you non-stop to kissing and sending you gifts -- convey just the opposite.  Th...

Teddy Roosevelt (1858-1919), who served as the 26th president of the United States, once said the following: "Complaining about a problem without proposing a solution is called whining." While I admire Roosevelt's larger-than-life personality and his wide-ranging accomplishments -- from leading the Rough Riders in the Spanish-American War to busting trusts to establishing a myriad of national parks -- I'd have to disagree with him on this one. I don't think complaining about a problem without proposing a solution necessarily means you're whining. Sometimes we're confronted with unexpected challenges that we may not know how to tackle immediately. We would then need some time to weigh our options, and if that bears no fruit, we'd likely seek support from friends, family, or a counselor. In general, we all have some sense of what we'd have to do to resolve a problem, but concrete solutions don't always come to us right away. It's ...

I've stumbled upon relationship and self-help books that actually encourage people to play hard to get with potential suitors. They argue that it keeps the other person on their toes and longing for more, ultimately resulting in an exciting relationship. While playing hard to get might work to some extent in the very early stages of courtship -- especially if your would-be partner is used to being asked out constantly -- it has no place in a serious relationship. Once things get more serious, playing hard to get becomes tantamount to childish games you might see in high school. (I was on the receiving end of such behavior with a couple of girls during my teen years.) Playing hard to get can seriously backfire on you. It sends the signal that you are too busy for or not genuinely interested in the other person. Even worse, it might convey that you have someone else on the side. I know a guy who employed this tactic to pique a woman's interest in him. While it seemed to...

For as long as I can remember, I've never been interested -- not in the slightest -- in having sex with any of my female friends. Sure, I've probably found one or two attractive, but I doubt I would have slept with them if I'd been given the opportunity to do so. It's not worth it, in my view, to put a friendship in jeopardy for a night of passion. Just recently, I spoke to a girl I went to high school with. Shortly after her eight-year relationship with her boyfriend came to an end, she began a "friends with benefits" kind of deal with one of her male friends. It worked well for both parties in the beginning, as she was on the rebound and he just wanted no-strings-attached sex. Things got sticky, however, once she became emotionally invested. While she now wished to take things to the next level, he claimed to be too busy for a relationship -- and he made it clear he wasn't going to change his stance. My high school buddy insists that the guy "tr...

Have you noticed how some people are far more serious when conversing with just one person, but act like goofballs if a third person -- a friend, maybe -- is also involved in the banter? The reason for this is simple: We feel more vulnerable when we're alone. If a close friend happens to interject, though, we seem more at ease. All of the sudden, we feel comfortable enough to crack a joke or two and know that at least your friend will appreciate and likely laugh at it. I see this happen all the time in the workplace. For example, when around one or two of her "office buddies," my co-worker Jenna loves to bust my chops about my being too quiet in the office. But if it's just her and I, she acts like a completely different person -- a lot more sober and humorless. If none of Jenna's closest co-workers are around to hear her jokes, those she isn't as chummy with may not find them funny at all, so she'll likely refrain from telling them. So what's ...