Don't hook up with this kind of person...or you’ll regret it

If you find yourself falling for someone who won't commit, you might want to put on the brakes before getting in too deep.

That is, of course, if you're seeking a serious, long-term relationship.

Why might a person refuse to commit?

It could be a myriad of reasons. They may have gotten burned by an ex and have resolved to put up protective walls. They may want to retain their independence, whether because of a demanding job or their wanting to hang out with friends. Maybe they have children they wish to prioritize following the passing of their spouse.

Whatever the case, they have every right not to get locked into a commitment they don't want, and you should appreciate it when they're thoughtful enough to come forward from the outset.

The problem comes when people vacillate between wanting and not wanting a serious commitment. Maybe they say they don't, but their actions -- from calling you non-stop to kissing and sending you gifts -- convey just the opposite.

Then there are those who feign wanting to get serious when deep down they won't.

It can be difficult and frustrating to get a good read on these individuals. Before you grow any more invested, you need sit them down for a heart-to-heart. Press them on what it is they're looking to get out of the relationship.

Sure, they may still lie, but if they're truly not up to it, there's a good chance they will tire of the line of questioning and walk out after a few tries. It is then you'll know they were putting up a facade.

So why would these people lie anyway?

They may not have romantic feelings for you like you do them, instead relishing in the attention you're giving them without having to get serious.

There are countless stories of people getting trapped in the friend zone, essentially becoming a shoulder to cry on when their true love interest does them dirty.

Then there are those who only want the relationship to be sexual in nature, with one person catching feelings and the other unable to reciprocate.

The bottom line is this: Everyone should make their intentions plainly known from the get-go. This affords them the opportunity to consider whether they want to make a go of it or move on.

If you're all-in but sense the other person is not, ask them why. Chances are you might be overthinking it. But if your gut tells you they have no interest in taking the relationship to the next level, don't assume that will ever change. In that case, I'd strongly advise you to reconsider staying in the relationship any longer.

You deserve to be happy, but happiness will elude you with a lukewarm, fickle partner. Indeed, a relationship will never work when only one person is sure of what they want.

Comments

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