When we're in a happy mood -- whether because we nabbed a promotion or landed a date with someone we've had our eye on -- we don't hesitate to express our emotions. We might smile, laugh, cheer, post a buoyant message on social media, or treat your friends to celebratory drinks. But things play out quite differently when we're going through a rough patch in our lives. We might instead hide our emotions -- sadness, anger, jealousy -- because we don't want to worry others or compel them to probe. As a result, we might turn down invitations to attend parties, call it a night unusually early, and shelve the kinds of things we look forward to when we're in better spirits, like hobbies.  There's nothing wrong with playing your cards close to your chest. In particular, I discourage anyone from bringing your feelings to light on social media unless you've altered your settings so that only those closest to you -- the ones you genuinely trust -- see those posts. ...

We come across difficult people everywhere -- at work, at family gatherings, and even while driving. No matter how nice you are and how diplomatic you aim to be, there will always be someone bent on raining on your parade, especially if they sense you're generally in a happy mood. Don't pay such individuals any mind. Think of it this way: Why allow someone who doesn't pay your bills, isn't there for you in tough times, and doesn't put you on their priority list exert so much control over your emotions? There are those people over which it makes complete sense to worry -- our parents, our kids, and the like. But letting that surly driver who cut you off on the way home or the obnoxious cashier at the grocery store ruin your day does nothing but empower them. Don't harp on the incident -- just let it go. Distract your mind by listening to music, watching a movie, throwing yourself into your work, taking a nap, playing with your child, or doing anyt...

Ah, the friend zone... that dreaded place no one who's head over heels ever wants to venture to. When someone we care deeply for thinks of us only as a friend, a whole host of emotions can come over us -- from embarrassment to sadness to hopelessness. But we needn't despair. Here's what can happen going forward: 1. Once we realize the feelings aren't being reciprocated, we may decide to move on, causing the relationship to fizzle out. 2. We accept that the person wishes to keep it platonic and we carry on as friends. 3. We continue to pursue them even though they've made it clear they don't hold the same feelings for us. In this scenario, they may feel badgered and tell us to leave them alone. Or, they may eventually give in, much to our delight. Most of us have been friend zoned at one point or another. We have to remind ourselves that it's not the end of the world, even though we convince ourselves that we'll never find anyone as wonder...

Gallup's annual survey of global emotions has unveiled that last year, Americans experienced anger, stress, and worry at levels eclipsing those observed over the past 10 years. The data is based on polling of over 150,000 people around the world, including 1,000 Americans. Americans' stress levels were significantly higher than the global average of 35 percent, leaving the U.S. tied for fourth (alongside Iran, Albania, and Sri Lanka) in Gallup's ranking of the most stressed populations around the globe. Greece came in first at 59 percent, while Tanzania and the Phillipines followed closely behind. As far as worry, the U.S. came in at 45 percent, slightly higher than the global average of 39 percent. (Mozambique has the world's most worried population with 63 percent.) And in terms of anger, although Anericans experienced the emotion at levels on par with the global average of 22 percent, this figure was still higher than in prior years. In fact, U.S. respo...

He promised you he'd always remain loyal to you, but you later discovered he had a girlfriend on the side. She pledged that she'd always be there for you, in good times and bad ones, but when you recently lost your job, she couldn't be bothered to visit or console you. We've all been in situations where people we trusted wholeheartedly wound up letting us down in a big way. Once you realize the individual isn't as great as you thought, you may experience a range of emotions -- from disbelief to anger to utter sadness. Worst of all, you may be tempted into blaming yourself for what happened. You may ask yourself a litany of questions such as: "How could I be so naive?" "Why didn't I see this coming?" "Was it something I did or said?" "How could I have wasted my time and energy in such a heartless person?" Before you know it, you've beaten yourself silly ruminating about the whys and what ifs. Do ...

It's a question I'm asked almost constantly, so I felt it was time to write an entry on this topic. Some people have no qualms about maintaining contact with their ex, while others are categorically opposed to it. This is one of those cases where, at the end of the day, it's at the discretion of the person in question. But there are certainly a few factors to consider that may help them make a decision. First, if the person is in a new relationship, their partner should have a say in the matter. They may question their significant other's motives in remaining chummy with the ex. Or, they may very well be swell with it, but they still have a right to know. If for whatever reason you feel ill at ease disclosing this to your partner, take it as a sign you probably should not maintain ties with your ex. If your partner finds out you've been keeping things from him or her, their trust in you will become seriously compromised. Another thing one has to question...

If you lose someone, but find yourself in the process, guess what? You've won. Maybe it's an ex who walked away because they found you too unexciting or conventional for them. Perhaps it's a friend who stopped responding to your messages once they realized they couldn't control you or get you to validate their every decision. You've likely been in this boat at some point or another. At first, seeing the relationship go down the tubes hits us hard, and we may be apt to blame ourselves. But gradually, we come to realize that it didn't work out for a reason, and rather than inducing sadness in us, that fact brings us a great sense of comfort and relief. It reinforces something that we knew all along, but perhaps never contemplated too deeply: If we try to think or behave like others just to gain their approval, we are essentially selling ourselves out, handing them our self-identity in a bag. Sadly, I've spoken to people who will suppress what m...

What would you say is the best way to appreciate someone special in your life? It can be done with one simple mental exercise: Just imagine your life without that person. Maybe you picture them in the arms of another man or woman. Does it make you jealous or angry? Or you dream up a world in which the two of you never even met. Does it make you sad? If these scenarios induce feelings of jealousy, anger, or sadness, it's clear you care deeply for the person in question. If they don't, it raises serious questions about how invested you are emotionally. Between work, kids, chores, and other items on our interminably long To Do Lists, some of us may take our partner for granted without even realizing it. As a result, he or she may feel as if their needs aren't being met and their voice isn't being heard. The longer this goes on, the more likely the person is to become fed up and walk -- that is, unless both people have a serious heart-to-heart. Studies sho...

Never depend on anyone or anything to feel fulfilled in life. That includes: Your partner Your kids Your friends Your job/employer Your hobbies The operative word here is "depend." We depend on food, water, and oxygen for survival.  When it comes the examples listed above, they can certainly enhance our lives, but life satisfaction shouldn't depend on any one of them.  As we all know, things and people can change at the drop of a hat: Your partner could cheat on or fall out of love with you Your kids may distance themselves from you (or even grow to dislike you) as they get older Shifting priorities may water down your relationships You can be laid off at any given moment, or you may come to hate your job over time You can throw your back, rendering you unable to play football or other games you may enjoy  The car, watch, or mug you love so much could break unexpectedly I'm not saying these things will most definitely happen, but t...

Want to be happier? The   less you attach your happiness to people or material things, the happier you'll be. Why? Because material things come and go, as do people. They're transitory.  What brings us true joy are experiences, which can create lasting memories. While things may have ended badly with your ex-boyfriend, there's no harm in conceding that you cherished -- perhaps to this day -- the times you spent with him, even if you don't want him back in your life. Or, you may reminisce about the trip you and your friends took to Cancun while you were in college, even though time and distance have caused something of a rift in your friendship. See what I mean? Focus on the experience and how it enriched your life, not on the person. Relationships evolve just like the people in them. Depending on someone else to be happy sets one up for disappointment in the event that person does a one-eighty, which most of us have experienced at some poin...

I noticed a quote online the other day that not only rings true for most of us, but perfectly sums up some of life's biggest ironies: "It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence, absence to value presence." In other words, we need to experience what it's like not to have something in order to appreciate having it. We take something for granted and only begin to appreciate the happiness it brings us once it's no longer there. For example, I've ended friendships and relationships over the years with people who took advantage of my kind, generous nature. The deep sadness I was feeling -- coupled with the fact I was at wits end -- prompted me to pull the plug, and I eventually found happiness in the company of others who valued my time. Though disappointed and contrite at first, they later thanked me for teaching them what it really means to appreciate others. They ingrained this in their minds moving forward, helping them improve ...

As I've said countless times, getting someone to change is often a futile effort. It's very difficult to change people's personality, beliefs or attitudes. Not only are we naturally resistant to change, but being prodded into changing usually has the unintended effect of making people double down on the very behavior you're hoping to change. If you want to stand any chance of changing someone, however, it can only be done in two ways: (1) opening one's heart and/or (2) opening one's mind. In other words, you're more likely to get someone to change when you can appeal to their thoughts or their emotions. It's for this reason that advertising can be so effective, especially ads of a negative nature. They not only lead us to rethink our positions, but they stir powerful emotions in us -- from sadness to regret. Whether you want someone to become more respectful or less selfish, it usually starts with a heart-to-heart. Unfortunately, sometimes th...

If you're feeling a little blue, all it takes to turn that frown upside down is a little mental rewiring. The best way to do this is to stay busy. Keeping your mind occupied prevents you from ruminating on negative things for too long. If you love animals, the "aww" moment you get from seeing a picture of a newborn kitten might be all it takes to change your mood. (This works for me, as I have a soft spot for animals.) Whether you enjoy sports, cooking, reality TV, or reading fiction novels, focusing on things you like pushes your thinking in a much more positive direction. The point is that sadness and negativity can eat away at us. Unfortunately, things of a negative nature have a much stronger effect on us than those of a positive nature. Is it any wonder the news is saturated with stories that center on death and murder? Remind yourself to always cancel out a negative thought with a positive one. DO NOT let the negative ones infiltrate and take over your mind! J...