Have you noticed how some people don't come to appreciate the things you do for them until you stop doing those things? Whether you pack your lunch for your husband every morning, bring in your neighbor's trash can every evening, or take care of your cousin's dog everytime she's away on business, many people grow accustomed to being pampered without asking if there's anything they can do for you. These individuals come to expect such special treatment as if it were the norm; they conveniently forget that you're doing them a favor and have no obligation to accommodate them indefinitely. Even worse, many will fail to express their gratitude at all -- until, of course, you call them out on it or cease lending a hand for good. Relationships should involve reciprocal generosity -- a balanced exchange of give and take. Each of you should take turns doing favors. If only one person in the relationship is a giver, sooner or later they will feel taken for grant...

Beware of people who seem awfully nice for no reason, as this usually means they're trying to get something out of you. Notice that I use the word "usually." There are a handful of people out there who are genuinely nice and expect nothing in return, but they're the exception rather than the rule. For the most part, people instinctively know that when they're nice to someone -- including giving them unsolicited compliments -- they're likely to create a favorable impression and put them in a good mood, thus making them more likely to say "yes" once a request is made. As I've noted in other posts, the principle of reciprocity holds that when someone does something nice for us, we feel compelled to pay it forward in the future. You see this all the time with waiters at restaurants who will butter up clientele in hopes of coming away with a good tip. For example, I've seen waiters and waitresses do everything from chat up my gregariou...

It goes without saying that some people show a stronger need for validation from society than others. Sure, I try to be friendly and respectful with everyone I come across. But that doesn't mean I am going to bend over backwards just to gain someone's favor. This is precisely what I see people at work and elsewhere try to do. It's obvious when someone is trying too hard to be liked by everyone around them. He or she seeks to do favors for no reason and finds any excuse to strike up or butt into conversations. Feeling left out or ignored is their single biggest fear. The ones I respect the most are those who can remain friendly and respectful toward others without resorting to pretentiousness. In reality, virtually everything we do can be construed as selfish. If we do favors for the sole purpose of currying people's favor, then it shows that we care a great deal about how/what people think of us. I don't care so much about being liked as I do being regarde...