In relationships, there’s one pivotal factor that often goes unnoticed until it's too late. It’s not about communication, trust, or even love. While these are not unimportant, there’s something more fundamental that shapes the way we connect with our partners. This overlooked element can either strengthen the ties between you or cause subtle fissures that may widen over time. So, what is this game-changing factor? It’s emotional availability . Emotional availability is the ability to be present, to listen and respond to your partner’s feelings, and to share your own emotions in a healthy, honest way.  When both partners are emotionally available, they create a safe space for each other to express worries, desires, and vulnerabilities without fear of judgment, reprisal, or rejection. This emotional connection is the foundation upon which intimacy, trust, and understanding can thrive. However, when one or both partners are emotionally unavailable, even the most loving relationships c...

There's people in this world who are inevitably bent on causing others harm -- or at least giving them a hard time -- all in the service of advancing their own interests. It's usually a reflection of the loathing they harbor toward themselves or some aspect of their life. They take it upon themselves to project onto you and others -- unsuspecting victims in their path -- their unrelenting misery.  Maybe you've encountered this at work or elsewhere: A toxic boss or surly acquaintance who seems to revel in making others feel like crap, whether out of envy, jealousy, spite, or no concrete reason at all. Once someone stands up to them, they may very well put the bullseye on others' backs, including yours.  So how is one to deal with these toxic individuals?  Don't let them get to you Nothing spurs them into taking a victory lap quite like seeing you deflated and despondent. Even if they're getting on your nerves, try not to show it. It'll supply them with more f...

Most people -- male or female, college student or seasoned professional -- would attest to desiring a long-term relationship. Or, if they're already in one, for that relationship to last a long time, if not forever. Research has shown that a surefire predictor of relationship success is getting to know each other before marriage and/or cohabitation is brought into the conversation.  Now, that's not to say that a relationship won't last if the pair marry or move in with each other speedily after meeting. Chances are, many of us know someone who did just that and they're still with their significant other. But this is the exception rather than the rule. It makes complete sense why a couple that chooses not to rush to the alter and/or shack up so quickly has a better chance of seeing their relationship last. For one, they afford themselves time to really get to know each other. That includes gaining a good grasp on one another's: Dreams and aspirations ...

I have found that nothing puts me in a better mood than distracting myself -- even if momentarily -- from the present. That can mean picturing myself lounging on a sun-dappled beach, surrounded by turquoise water (not as good as actually being there, but I'll take it); spending a few moments watching bloopers or videos of adorable animals; immersing myself in a compelling book; or listening to my favorite songs on my iPod Touch. The key is to disconnect from the moment. If you spend ALL your time ruminating on your carries and worries, life will become very monotonous. Sometimes you just need a short break from your annoying coworkers, nagging neighbor, and others who drive you up the wall. Such an intermission -- however brief -- can leave you feeling more relaxed and/or energized. I realize this is easier said than done for some people. Not everyone lives in their head or has the inclination to do so, especially those who tend to be more outgoing. However, everyone ...

Many people -- myself included -- let life get them down sometimes. We fret over the fact that life never quite seems perfect -- there's always a problem to be resolved, an issue to be addressed. Here's the reality: Life was never perfect before, it won't be perfect today, and it won't be so in the future either. We can do things to put our ducks in a row as best as we can, but we can't just sweep everything under a rug and go about our business. It doesn't work that way. As counterintuitive as this may sound, it's a good thing that life presents a steady stream of challenges. It keeps us on our toes and striving to better ourselves. Can you imagine a life completely devoid of worries or goals? We'd have nothing to look forward to if things remained the same day in and day out. Of course, you want to minimize the stress in your life and not allow problems to tailspin into crises. But you shouldn't feel despondent over the fact that your l...