One thing is for people to blather on about the drama in their lives. Another is for them to try to whip up drama in ours. The latter is wholly unacceptable, and we should never stand for that. Whether it's a coworker who tries to turn you against someone at work who doesn't rub her the right way, someone you've begun dating who hasn't quite broken up with their ex, or a friend who tries to rope you into gambling or taking drugs, you should never take the bait. Never allow yourself to get wrapped up in other people's problems. While you certainly can lend a hand, their worries should not become your own. They have to resolve such matters themselves and leave you out of it -- otherwise, you may find yourself shouldering a heavy burden. Many people who find themselves down on their luck are so selfish as to try to bring others down with them, especially if the latter seem to be doing pretty well for themselves. Misery loves company, to be sure. In the worst ...

Given that Thursday marked Thanksgiving Day in the U.S., it made the perfect occasion to take a moment and acknowledge the efforts of the special people in our lives who show they genuinely care for us -- whether it be our parents, partner, close friends, and/or co-workers. (Yet, this should be done over the course of the entire year, not just one day of the year.) As we well know, one thing is to profess you care, and another is to show it. Showing it means going out of your way -- inconveniencing yourself, if you will -- for other people. It means putting someone atop your priority list every so often, even though you have a slew of things you still need to tend to. It means being there when someone needs you, even if it's just via text or by phone. It means that you don't just surface on the person's birthday.  Real relationships are about putting into them what you get out of them .  Those who care aren't only thinking about what they can extract f...

Doesn't it annoy you when someone you hardly know -- a coworker, an acquaintance, or even someone you just started dating -- pretends to know you better than you know yourself? They proceed to give you unsolicited tips and advice based on their own personal experiences, expecting you to follow suit without hesitation. Ugh! Eventually, you'll have to break it to them plainly: No one knows you better than you know yourself. You really have to hand it to some people. They speak with such verve and self-confidence that it's hard not to buy into their every word and do exactly as they say. To be fair, I'm not saying that their advice should never be welcome. Sometimes people really do have valuable wisdom to impart, especially if talking to younger folks seeking some guidance. The problem is when they try to make decisions for us. They push us to leave our doctor for theirs, buy our next car at their preferred dealership, or even date someone whom they're sure ...

Some of the people in your inner circle -- whether friends, coworkers, or acquaintances -- may attempt to convince you that they know what's best for you, even if you beg to differ.  In essence, they're saying that they know you better than you know yourself! This is, of course, utterly preposterous.  No one but you knows all your fears, misgivings, hopes, and dreams. No one other than you has been at your side 24 hours a day, seven days a week, every single day of your life.  While your parents, siblings, or friends are likely to have taught you a few valuable lessons as you've gotten older, there are others you've learned through personal experience.  That being said, how can a person claim to have a better handle on you than, well, you? Be wary of these people, I tell you, for they aim to foist their own beliefs and opinions on you as if they were the law.  Whatever you do, do not cave. People do this for one simple reason:...

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.  "Finding yourself" seems to imply that there's only one possible version of you that can exist, and you're on a quest to find it. But this couldn't be farther from the truth. For instance, just because you're innately shy doesn't mean you can't take public speaking courses that will help bring you out of your shell. And just because you were dreadful at math as a kid doesn't mean you can't work at bettering your math skills, paving the way for a successful career as math teacher or financial analyst. With drive and hard work, we can will ourselves to become any way we like. We have more of a hand in shaping our future and achieving goals we set for ourselves than most of us readily acknowledge or realize. Unfortunately, many people choose to down a path different from what their heart desires because they want to fit in with or please others. In that case, yo...

No matter how nice and accommodating you may be toward friends and family, you can't control their loyalty towards you. Never expect that just because you act a certain way toward someone, they'll immediately turn around and reciprocate. In a perfect world, everyone would be disposed to scratching our back when we scratch theirs, but there are no guarantees in life. Some people are takers far more than they are givers. They're out to benefit themselves and pay little attention to the plight of those they have the audacity to call a friend or loved one. Especially telling is when they vanish into thin air upon learning that someone needs help. A good person sticks by through thick and thin. Of course, we all have obligations -- work, children, community service, and the like -- that may prevent us from getting as deeply involved as we'd like. But if we're fed every excuse in the book for why a person can never be there for us, it starts to feel dising...

Happiness -- that's what! And let's add love, health, peace, and a sense of accomplishment from meeting one or more goals! I don't know about you, but I get the feeling it's going to be a fantastic year for all of us. Having that materialize starts with keeping a positive mindset. The more you believe that great things are in store, the more likely that is to come to fruition. Whether you aim to lose weight, start a family, or get a new job, I wish you only the best in achieving your goals. If you ever need advice or encouragement, please feel free to reach out to me. Or, you can ask questions of other fellow readers. Without a doubt, every visitor to the blog is always willing to lend a helping hand. I want to thank each and every one of you who's read and/or commented on my posts for your valuable contributions to this blog. Thanks to your unending support, the site garnered a record number of views and comments this year. It's your insightful co...

Thanks to your support, How to Understand People continues to garner views at meteoric levels! The blog launched in the summer of 2014 and continues to draw people from all corners of the internet -- from Facebook users to message board posters -- who are interested in reading about and discussing human behavior. My readers say they love delving into why people act and think in certain ways and exploring the wide array of topics I cover, from personality and relationships to consumer psychology. They also say they've found my advice and tips to be most helpful in their lives. In addition, many have also told me that they appreciate my intermittent posts on figures in history, as it allows them to learn about people and decisions that forever changed the world. If we don't learn from past mistakes -- whether committed by ourselves or other people -- we're doomed to repeat them. As always, I encourage you weigh in on every post that I submit. Share your thoughts and qu...

I've had several readers on this blog message me seeking everything from relationship advice to tips on how they can save money. They've later thanked me for pulling them out of a dark place. These are the kinds of topics I base my posts on, and I'm thrilled that my readers wish to reach out to me for a heart-to-heart. I realize some of you are facing tough challenges in your life, and that having a shoulder to lean on can make the difference between aspiring toward a better tomorrow and falling into a deep depression. That's why I'm here. Whether you're having marital issues or dealing with problems at work, please feel free to send me a message. I'll do my best to respond promptly, and rest assured that all details you provide will be held in the strictest confidence. Don't be shy. Don't suffer in silence. I'm here to help you! For advice, you can reach me at: E-Mail: JeffM8519@aol.com Google+:   https://plus.google.com/11353592724...

About a month or so ago, I created a post in which I asked readers who need advice to send me their questions, either by commenting on the post or via private message. I got a huge response, with several people asking for relationship- and career-related tips. Due to the overwhelming response, I wanted to submit another such post now welcoming all of you to reply to this post with any questions you may have or sending them in a private message (in case you'd like your story to remain anonymous). Don't be shy -- I'm all ears (or should I say, eyes) and excited at the opportunity to guide people through some of life's big challenges. Need advice or tips to help make your life better? Let me know and I'll be glad to help!