Ever heard the song "Don't Stop Believin''' by Journey? It's the kind of song we ought to hear whenever we doubt ourselves, which, for some of us, happens all too often. But the fact of the matter is that we have no choice but to believe in ourselves -- because no one else is going to do it for us. A lack of self-confidence impairs our ability to land dates, get jobs, build relationships, and -- most important -- enjoy life. Doubting ourselves can lead to low self-esteem, which can in turn snowball into depression and other more serious health outcomes. Once it becomes apparent that many of the excuses you concoct for not succeeding are in your head, you come to realize that you've been holding yourself back for no reason at all. Maybe your parents or peers told you that you couldn't achieve something and brainwashed you against yourself. But how would they know what you're capable of if they're not you? A person can achieve anyt...

Did you ever fall into the bad boys trap? Why is it that some women fall for jerks rather than for guys who treat them with respect? Do these girls have little to no respect for themselves? Deep down, do they feel that they don't deserve for someone to treat them well? I think that girls who do this have been burned in the past, get hung up on trying to "change" the guy, or find him much more exciting than the predictable and sappy nice guy. I think it also speaks to their emotional maturity -- or lack thereof. While most of these girls are able to shake off this so-called bad boy syndrome, others struggle with it even into their adult years. Trying to change a bad boy or jerk is an exercise in futility. While some people do change for the better as they age, others don't change at all, or worse -- they change for the worst. Bad boys emit what many girls perceive as self-confidence, but little do they know that it's all a front. In actuality, these guy...

And no, a strong sex drive and big muscles didn't quite make the cut. I know there are several contenders for the top 2 spots, but I would say the two qualities women desire most in men are honesty and self-confidence. I thought about sense of humor, but not every single woman necessarily seeks a man who can make her laugh. That would probably occupy 4th or 5th place on the list. However, every woman I've talked to says a man HAS to be sincere -- no ifs or buts about it. If she can't trust the guy, there's no way that a relationship could ever be possible with that person. With stories of infidelity dominating the tabloids and the divorce rate skyrocketing, it's no wonder that women are on high alert. Then there's self-confidence. Women desire men who are sure of themselves. Now, they don't have to be self-confident when it comes to every itty bitty thing they do (no one's perfect), but they should show passion and a drive to excel at something, wh...

In a word, no. There's a fine line to be drawn between assertiveness/self-confidence, qualities which women find attractive, and all-out bossiness, which can send them running for the hills. If a woman has to choose between a needy guy and a bossy one, who do you think will prevail? Well, both guys would be out of luck. Women don't want a pushover any more than they desire a guy who tells them what to do all the time. If they had it their way, they'd opt for something in the middle. For example, choosing something on the menu for her every time you both go to a restaurant is a big no no. She is not 5 years old and will react unfavorably to not being allowed to pick an item freely. However, when it comes to choosing a restaurant -- or anywhere else to go for that matter -- women like a man with a plan. It's a turn off to constantly be asking her, "Where should we eat tonight?" "What do you wish to do this weekend?" Women value a man who ca...

This post at How to Understand People explores whether women gravitate toward overly masculine guys -- the ones people like to call "alpha males." From what I have observed, the vast majority of women seem attracted to men who display at least a couple of characteristics typically associated with manly men --whether it be facial hair, overconfidence, or the ability to be handy around the house. However, you may have learned in psychology class that women have an instinctual drive to find a partner who can provide resources, i.e., money. And the fact is that any man can have resources -- whether he oozes manliness or is an all-out metrosexual. So what do women prefer? Though every woman is different, I believe most look for balance in their partners. The guy need not have to be the next macho Sylvester Stallone, but he should at least be predisposed to defend her in any given situation. He needn't be filthy rich with a luxurious car and yacht, but he should at leas...