The time has come to sever ties with the ones who've done you wrong, with the ones who fail to appreciate all you do for them. Granted, nobody's perfect. We're all guilty of missteps. But if you've done your part to atone for your mistakes and the other person hasn't, it's obvious who places a higher premium on the relationship.  If it's your boss who's toxic and has subjected you to mental and emotional abuse, you need to stop putting off finding a new job. No role -- irrespective of pay, benefits, and other perks -- is worth risking your well-being for!  Those benefits can always be replaced, but as far as your mental wellness, it isn't always automatic (or even guaranteed).  If your partner is abusive in any way, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally, you must stop giving them a free pass. Everyone is entitled to respect and dignity.  The longer such behavior carries on, the greater the chance of your mental or emotional state deteriorating...

A key reason why so many individuals are toxic is because, put simply, they have no boundaries.  They feel they have nothing to lose by making your life as miserable as they possibly can -- often because their lives are that way. They have little regard for your feelings, perspectives, and opinions, as they deem theirs far superior. If you object to their assertions, prepare to be scorned. Toxic people loathe dissent.  They are often narcissists masquerading as good, humble folks -- that is, until their chameleon tendencies come to light and you realize they have no one's best interests at heart but their own. It's no wonder so many of these mercurial individuals find themselves in top positions in the corporate world. They schmooze their way to the top, and once there, dispense misery upon unsuspecting worker bees, hastening those employees' eventual resignations. Their toxic tendencies extend to their personal relationships as well. Three or more marriages are typical. Th...

When did you last come across a rude individual? Was it at the office? While getting the mail? In the elevator on the way to your dentist appointment? It happens to the best of us. There's a preponderance of rude folks in the world, and there's little we can do about it. We do, however, exert control over how we respond to the ones in our orbit.  To be fair, we ourselves can be rude to others as times. We're only human. The key is for the person to recognize the offensive behavior, apologize, and prevent displaying such behavior in the future to the best of their ability.  Some people are, well, naturally rude. It's as if a day that goes by where they don't exhibit rudeness raises alarm. It could just be in their genes, it may be a product of their environment/upbringing, or a melding of the two. I speak of the folks who cut others off on the road, don't hold the door for those behind them, and lambast their co-workers.  In some cases, they may just be having a ...

At some point, all of us have had a brush with someone intent on making our lives miserable. Perhaps it was a toxic boss, a jaded ex, a shady friend, or even someone within your own family who proved untrustworthy. But guess what? You're still alive. You survived. You emerged with a keener awareness not only of others' motives, but of the immense strength that lies within you. In an ideal world, we would get along with anyone and everyone. People would appreciate us for who we are, whether we own a BMW or a Versa, a small loft or a capacious mansion. They would prize us just the same whether we are meek or outspoken, bookish or adventurous. Alas, behind some nook or cranny is some bitter soul who wishes for their misery to rub off on someone in his or her orbit. No matter how hard we may try to please everyone -- how nice and accommodating we are to others -- someone will always take issue with us. And oftentimes we haven't done a single thing wrong to a...

Is a relationship doomed when one person is a bit more invested than the other? Not necessarily.  In fact, it's quite typical for one partner to care a little more than their significant other -- and the roles can switch over the course of the relationship. This can happen because of a myriad of factors, including: One person having a more stressful job Illness One partner being more organized and on top of things (e.g., relationship milestones, finances, etc.) In essence, it doesn't mean that the person who's a little less committed doesn't value the relationship. But everything from a person's disposition/personality to life simply getting in the way has to be factored in. And sometimes it may seem like they don't care as much because that's how the partner perceives it, but it's not the case at all. For example, some people are naturally more mushy than others. Just because they're not always keen on displaying affec...

Nobody would argue that relationships are (or should be) about give and take. If one finds himself constantly giving but never receiving -- be it love, affection, emotional support -- it won't be long before he realizes things are badly lopsided, potentially prompting him to walk unless the other person begins to appreciate him more. That being said, many people argue that relationships should be 50/50, with each partner investing an equal amount of time and energy. But should it always be this way? While I think partners should certainly strive to contribute proportionally, it can't be this way ALL the time. If someone has had a bad day at work or isn't feeling well, it makes sense for one partner to be noticeably more giving for the time being. Then, when the other person suffers a similar fate, they, too, should receive the same treatment. Then there are those cases where both individuals suffer together (e.g., grieving the loss of a mutual friend) and act ...

Don't let people bog you down with their drama and negativity. See, that's precisely what they crave: For them to be the ones responsible for turning your good mood into a sour one. It empowers them to continue trying to push our buttons until we become disappointed, effectively ruining our day (or so they hope). And toxic people aren't always overtly toxic from the get-go. They may endear themselves to us in the beginning, forming the impression that they're one of the nicest people we have ever met. But once the opportunity strikes, they flip a switch and allow their true, manipulative colors to come out. As I've noted in prior posts, when people are unhappy with their lives, they attempt to make themselves feel better by trying to make miserable the lives of ostensibly happy individuals. Whether they're in the process of getting divorced, having problems with their boss, or in serious financial straits, they take everything out on the people a...

What would you say is the worst kind of punishment you can inflict on someone? While many might feel it's delivering physical abuse (e.g., beating the person up), I firmly believe that mental and emotional damage can be far more difficult to rebound from. Such wounds can take far longer to heal. When it comes to indifference, stop for a moment and think about just how painful it must be to realize that someone near and dear to your heart -- whether it's your partner, friend, or a family member -- couldn't care less about you anymore. Such indifference could come in many forms, with unanswered texts or calls chief among them. Perhaps you don't get a call on your birthday from the individual, or even after just having gone through a trying experience (e.g., emergency surgery or a death in the family). It could very well be that we forgot the person's birthday, weren't there when they needed us, or had a huge argument with them, and now they've cut of...

It's easy to see the many ways that relationships -- whether with friends, family members, coworkers, or significant others -- add value to our life. In a healthy relationship, both individuals give and receive love, affection, kindness, compassion, advice, and support. Both invest the time and energy to make the other feel special and acknowledged. Neither takes the other for granted or bolts at the first sign of trouble, whether in the relationship or outside of it. A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is suffused with negativity and riddled with conflict. Distrust snowballs into deep resentment. Lying, lambasting, and lashing out become par for the course. While occasional arguments are normal in a relationship and can be beneficial in the sense that both people learn to work toward achieving common ground, too much fighting can escalate to the point where (1) both individuals are at each other's throats (2) they grow so disillusioned that they stop caring altoge...

One of the surest ways to have people to step all over you is to always wear your heart on your sleeve and not think things through rationally. Some people go to great lengths to avoid conflict and confrontation -- so much so that they'll acquiesce to others' every desire. Being too much of a people pleaser, ironically, will hurt you in the end -- the exact scenario you're aiming to avoid in the first place --because someone will eventually exploit your generous nature to get as much out of you as they can. Yes, you should try to do favors for others and lend a hand when it's needed. But you shouldn't be afraid to say no to someone for fear of disappointing them or causing a rift in the relationship. A relationship built on fear is no relationship at all. If something so minute can lead to tensions in the relationship, it begs the question: Is this the kind of person you want to be around? You can be nice without being a doormat. It may sound counterintu...

Apologies don't mean anything if you continue to do what you claim to be sorry for . Saying "sorry" rings hollow if you persist in your unsavory behavior -- whether it's cheating on your spouse, furtively stealing money from your employer, or drug/alcohol abuse. I firmly believe that some people apologize as a quick way out; in reality, they have no intention of following through. Deep down, they're really not sorry. And your support can only go so far when the person can't help but fall off the wagon time and time again. Eventually, you reach a point where nothing short of counseling is in order. I only wish the word "sorry" weren't used so loosely. It's kind of like those who go around telling people they love them after dating them just a few weeks. Say what you mean and mean what you say. As I've stressed in earlier posts, words mean nothing unless you back them up with concrete actions. For example, if you say you'...

Have you ever considered that you could have come into this world as a plant or animal? It's interesting to mull the possibilities. If we had been born animals or plants, it's possible we could have been someone or something's lunch a long time ago. In a way, it makes me feel bad for these living organisms, as I doubt they realize they could be made prey at a moment's notice. Then again, many of the animals feed on other creatures to survive. Imagine not being able to communicate as a human does, and roaming the wild (feral animals) or streets (domesticated animals). In the case of plants, they also stand the risk of being pulled or drying up. As human beings, we can reflect on our lives, bask in our accomplishments, and strive to meet goals every day. But what about animals and plants? Studies have proven that animals and plants have feelings and can actually suffer. Do they aim for anything in particular? What comes to mind is pretty clear-cut: caring fo...