It sounds counterintuitive, right? As we approach Thanksgiving, we aim to be thankful for the wonderful folks in our lives The ones who are there for us when we need them. The ones who lift us when we hit rock bottom emotionally. So you might be wondering why in the world I'm suggesting we should be grateful for the naysayers, the toxic folks, the unredeemable narcissists.  Well, if we didn't have people like this in our lives, we would never come to appreciate those who embody the exact opposite qualities -- decency, respect, humility, and integrity, among others. That isn't to say that you should keep these folks in your life unnecessarily. Sometimes we need to put up with them for a job (the tyrannical boss) or for someone else's sake (the meddling in-laws).  But when someone is that unpleasant, it's easy to draw a contrast between them and the individuals you've come to respect and admire, e.g., sweet Sue in human resources or your boyfriend's caring cou...

More likely than not, there is at least one toxic individual in your life whom you're forced to deal with in order to sustain a job or relationship.  Maybe it's your overbearing boss, meddling father-in-law, or a friend's implacable spouse. As I've noted in earlier posts, you're always at liberty to terminate said job or relationship if you find it becomes intolerable, threatening your health and well-being.  Before taking such a drastic step, though, there's always the option to sit down with the person (and maybe you want a co-worker, your partner, or friend there as a buffer) to try to ameliorate the situation.  But let's assume for the sake of argument that you want to do your best to play nice and not rock the boat too much.  Perhaps you've only just begun that job, or you recognize employers in your industry just aren't hiring at the moment. Or you may care so deeply about your partner or friend that you're willing to put up with that pest ...

If you expect people to think and act like you, I regret to inform you that those expectations are unlikely to be met! Of course, you do have control over the company you keep. If you want your friends to be liberal baseball fans like you who advocate for the environment, you can make a conscious effort to surround yourself with such folks. And it's only natural to expect others to share common values like loyalty, decency, and respect. Otherwise, why bother keeping them around? But even like-minded people -- from your partner to your closest friends -- won't approach every situation as you would. For example, just because your hubby proposes a markedly different solution to a problem than you would, i.e., how to tackle your kid's poor math grades, should not be taken to mean your suggestion is wrong. Similarly, just because your wife doesn't display affection in the ways you would -- or as often -- doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Neither pers...