The past two or three years have felt like something of a blur -- a weird dream of sorts that we can't seem to wake up from. We'd never before experienced a pandemic in our lifetimes, and neither had our parents or likely even our grandparents. Between lockdowns and social distancing/mask mandates, COVID-19 seemed the perfect recipe for isolation and all of the adverse outcomes that spring from it, including anxiety and depression.  Now, this isn't to say that we've all felt helplessly lonely during these rather unusual times. Introverts -- those like me who recharge through solitude -- have welcomed with open arms some of the changes brought on by the pandemic. Among them are wider acceptance of staying home rather than partying out, people settling for WhatsApp video conversations vs. face-to-face encounters, and, at last, companies giving employees the flexibility to work from home regularly.  Still, the more extroverted folks among us who relish in-person connection...

Thanks to the pandemic, introversion -- at least for the time being -- is the new normal, or, at the very least, is far more socially acceptable than it was just a few months ago. Who knows? It may very well become the new cool going forward in a society that ordinarily frowns upon those who value solitude and time for quiet reflection. It feels as though introverts have been waiting and prepared for an event like this their whole lives. Although I've touched upon introversion in earlier posts, here's a quick recap of what it really means to be an introvert: You draw energy inward. You're not necessarily shy or antisocial -- you simply need alone time for recharging.  You prefer small groups to large ones. You value one-on-one conversations because fewer participants means not having to vie with several others to get a word in edgewise.  You prefer communicating in writing rather than verbally because it affords you the opportunity to think through yo...

Right now, many of us find ourselves working from home -- a mandate imposed by local and federal officials aimed at curbing the spread of coronavirus. Yet, some people have the flexibility to work from home as often as they'd like, even when we're living in normal times. Working from the comfy confines of our room or home office can be something of a mixed bag. As far as disadvantages, juggling work and childcare can be challenging. While there may be no shortage of distractions awaiting you at the office, having your toddler throw Fruit Loops in your face as you attempt to finish the expense report by the 3 p.m. deadline can undoubtedly test your patience. That's to say nothing of the chatty neighbor who comes knocking every few hours, the maintenance being done on the unit downstairs, the dog barking incessantly in the yard, or the simple temptation to plop on the couch and skirt your work duties. Having the fridge close by isn't doing our wasteline any ...

. Introverts like me feel like we've been prepared for an event like the coronavirus virtually our entire lives. Under normal circumstances, we consciously seek out solitude in order to clear our minds and recharge our batteries -- especially after dealing with people for hours on end. Now, alone time has been thrust upon us. It's as if social distancing were tailor-made for introverts the world over. While extroverts, who thrive on social interaction, might regard having to stay at home for weeks or months as an unwelcome disruption in their lives, introverts are receiving it with open arms. We thrive on written communication. We relish alone time. We thrill at the opportunity to enjoy solitary pursuits. That's not to suggest we're misanthropes who loathe people and would gladly barricade ourselves in our homes if given the opportunity. We enjoy social interaction -- just in smaller doses, and with fewer people. In fact, introverts are known to become q...

One of the biggest challenges we face is trying to be ourselves in a world that is trying to make us like everyone else. Some people will stop at nothing to get you to think and act like them. Don't allow it! Make it clear that you will relinquish your uniqueness for no one. Assert that you will celebrate your individuality until your last breath. When they push you to blend in, learn to stand apart. When they goad you to compromise your values or beliefs, stand firm like a rock. Why would anyone wish to be a replica rather than an original? Sure, human bonding calls for a bit of compromise -- a little give and take, if you will. But never should anyone make you feel bad for being resolute in your desire to project your most authentic self to the world. Extroverts might try to convert you into one of them. No matter how well you fake it, though, your introverted temperament will win out because, well, it's the real you. You need solitude in order to recharge you...

Silence gets such a bad rap these days, and I don't know why. I've heard people say they loathe being in typically quiet settings -- say, libraries, churches, or local parks -- where it's so hushed in there that it totally unnerves them. I recently visited my alma mater's enormous library, which spans eight spacious floors. The sixth and seventh floors have been designated "quiet areas" where talking is all but forbidden. If someone on campus wishes to hear nothing but a pin drop while studying or working, they know to go to the library. It's my go-to place to get some reading done when I find myself too distracted at home. I only wish I had availed of it more when I was a student there. As an introvert, it's hardly a surprise that I relish silence. It helps me recharge my batteries after long days at work spent in meetings and alongside people around the office who just don't know when to zip it. Extroverts find silence off-putting bec...

Society leads us to believe that thrusting oneself into social settings is the antidote to loneliness. Yet, many people would agree that one can feel lonelier around a big group of people than when the person is by themselves. For starters, just because a person is alone doesn't mean they're lonely. There are actually people out there, myself included, who enjoy and thrive on time spent alone -- to relax, contemplate, clear their mind. Finding yourself amidst large groups of people whom you don't know can be more isolating than being by your lonesome. Sure, you can always try to strike up a conversation with someone, but it can come off as awkward and doesn't always lead to the desired result. This is especially true when everyone around you already is engaged in conversation with someone else. I feel much more at ease interacting with people when small groups of 2 to 3 people are involved. You don't have people talking and shouting over another. You d...

Every day around noon, a group of five or six people gather in the break room at my company to chat over lunch. They get so boisterous that you can often hear them shouting over each other from the hallway! I've noticed that I hardly ever see these people alone in the building, no matter the day, time, or place. A similar dynamic plays out in my own department, where people do everything from grab coffee to walk to the bathroom together. (I kid you not!) I understand the value of building relationships at work and elsewhere, but these people take it to a whole new level. I think many people have been conditioned by society to believe that unless they do all or most things in pairs or groups, they're weirdos. Many people have a strong longing to be part of a group, and to them, the thought of flying solo is utterly terrifying. Yes, social relationships -- or, connections, as we like to call them -- do help people land jobs, get promotions, and receive other perks. ...

Late musician Kurt Cobain (1967-1994) was once quoted as saying: "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same." I think the quote perfectly captures a persistent problem in our society: That people are ostracized when they're noticeably different in some way from the mainstream. This runs the gamut from virgins to non-drinkers, introverts to nerds, tree huggers to the extremely religious, childfree to vegan. Herd mentality describes how people are influenced by their peers to take on certain behaviors, follow trends, and/or purchase products. Whether you're contemplating which car to buy, whom to make your next doctor, or what constitutes trendy nowadays, you'll probably take your cue from someone else. It could be a friend, family member, or coworker. The thought of someone who's a little different is unsettling for many people. That, in turns, drives us to do all we can to conform to societal expec...

My last post centered on how the internet can keep some of us much more entertained than others. Those who are not big on "things" -- the internet, books, and so on -- turn to people to keep them engaged. Why is this? Well, it has to do with two key factors: 1. Our personality 2. Our interests As I have mentioned in prior posts, extroverts direct their energy outward and thrive on social interaction, while introverts direct their energy inward and feel at their best while engaging in solitary activities like reading and writing. What's more, we don't all share the same interests. Many people couldn't care less about blogs, message boards, books, or Facebook. While some have remained reluctant to embrace technology, others don't use the internet as frequently because, well, they'd rather be bantering about in person. The internet can keep me entertained for hours and hours on end, but I realize some people would get flat-out bored after a whi...

Society generally frowns upon those who keep to themselves. But just because someone is quiet doesn't mean he's stuck-up, indifferent, or harboring devious plans of some sort. On the contrary, quiet people are usually quite convivial once you get to know them. All it takes is breaking the ice and making the person feel comfortable enough to open up. I was a very quiet kid through my high school years, but finally came out of my shell when I started college. To this day, I can clam up while in the presence of a lot of people, especially those with whom I have nothing in common. People have to become more tolerant of others' personalities and resist the urge to categorize them in the absence of more information. For instance, people attempt to fill in the gaps by assuming that the quiet person must think she is superior to everyone else. In actuality, she may just be an introvert who thinks very carefully before speaking. Some people are more introspective than others and...