Sometimes it isn't that someone has changed, but that now you see them for who they really are. It can be disappointing to realize that someone whom you held in high esteem -- whether an old friend or relatively new girlfriend -- isn't as you imagined. Maybe you've noticed a pattern of lies, throwing cold water on the rosy impression you'd built of them in your mind. Perhaps they'd hidden the fact that they have a massive heap of debt, a never-before-mentioned ex who continues reaching out to them, or aspirations of moving to Europe in a year. Do some people change for the worst over time? In some instances, yes. It's possible they could grow complacent, envious, or flat-out bitter in the relationship, and things like alcohol and stress at work may be culprits -- though they're certainly not valid reasons for bad behavior. But in other cases, they manage to put up a front -- rather effectively, I might add -- that may persist for years. The p...

When you enter into a new relationship, it can feel as though you're walking on air. As you get to know each other, however, you may realize that you and your partner don't have as much in common as you originally thought. For example, in the beginning, your girlfriend may have tagged along for baseball games given your avid following of the hometown team. But a few months into the relationship, it becomes apparent that she can't be bothered to go to a game, let alone watch one at home with you. When you ask what brought on the change, she admits she was never crazy about baseball to begin with. She just wanted to make a good impression on and spend time with you. Now that she's comfy in the relationship, she doesn't have qualms about declining your invitations outright. Similarly, your partner may have led you to believe that they share other interests you may have -- whether reading, exercising, dancing, science, history, or cooking -- only to later ...

Whether you're on a date or talking to a potential suitor online for the first time, the wrong person for you is the one who compels you to act in unnatural ways just so you can gain their approval. Here are a few examples of ways we may project a phony representation of ourselves: You try to be funnier or more sociable than you really are.  You're dishonest about your past relationships, dreams, goals, and the like. You force yourself to like sushi, Harry Potter movies, or the Yankees just to impress him or her, even though none interest you at all.  In other words, you try to become someone you're not -- all for the sake of making a favorable impression on the other person. But do you honestly want the person you end up with to feel drawn to the person they think you are -- or the person you really are? Why would you go such lengths for an individual who could walk away tomorrow? That's just putting the relationship on shaky ground from the get go....

Many people don't know how to tell the difference between love and infatuation. Here's the chief differentiator in a nutshell: When you're infatuated by someone, you perceive them to be perfect for you without even knowing them that well.  When you truly love or are in love with someone, they're perfect in your eyes despite their known imperfections. In other words, mere infatuation is conducive to an "ignorance is bliss" mindset. In the early stages of a relationship, when you're still unaware of a person's flaws, all you have to go on are their looks, words, and gestures, which together form your initial impression of them. You can't be certain everything they've told you about themselves is true, but you're so taken with the person -- especially after being showered with cutesy gifts and/or notes -- that you're willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. However, you can't really love someone until you know more ...

Beware of people who seem awfully nice for no reason, as this usually means they're trying to get something out of you. Notice that I use the word "usually." There are a handful of people out there who are genuinely nice and expect nothing in return, but they're the exception rather than the rule. For the most part, people instinctively know that when they're nice to someone -- including giving them unsolicited compliments -- they're likely to create a favorable impression and put them in a good mood, thus making them more likely to say "yes" once a request is made. As I've noted in other posts, the principle of reciprocity holds that when someone does something nice for us, we feel compelled to pay it forward in the future. You see this all the time with waiters at restaurants who will butter up clientele in hopes of coming away with a good tip. For example, I've seen waiters and waitresses do everything from chat up my gregariou...

Many people may not realize that what we wear plays an integral role in how confident we feel. Haven't you worn a shirt or pair of jeans that fits your body just right and makes you look and feel good?  Perhaps other factors add to its appeal, like an eye-catching design. I surely feel my confidence bolstered when I put on a nice suit, as do many of my male friends. Even though I'm not a top executive, it certainly makes me feel like it. When I meet with top-level managers during job interviews, being in a suit makes me feel as if I'm at their level. Studies have shown that people who are told to wear uniforms of people in a position of authority (e.g. cop) gradually begin to take on the qualities of such individuals. For example, they might become more bossy, impatient, and distrustful. We needn't cross the line, though. I can't stand it when people let their getup go to their heads, making them cocky and obnoxious. No one wants to hear you boast for hour...