Have you ever trusted someone to be there when you need them, only to see them bolt when things really start to fall apart? Maybe you needed advice during your tumultous divorce, a place to stay after the passing of your spouse, or a few bucks after being laid off that you promised to pay back. Yep, we've all been there. It's plain to see why this can be so hurtful. Not only did they leave you in the lurch, but they clearly demonstrated their actions didn't mirror their words. Essentially, they lied, and maybe you can't imagine ever trusting them again -- and rightly so. But we can't give these people the satisfaction of seeing us all bent out of shape, as it will convey that they have us emotionally wrapped around their finger. We ought to remind ourselves that for every person who betrays us, there's one out there who will stand behind us no matter what life throws our way -- whether it be a close friend, reliable neighbor, or caring cousin. Th...

Some of the people we have to deal with in our daily lives are, shall we say, difficult. Our bosses may impose unrealistic demands on us, oblivious to the fact we may have a sick child or parent to attend to. Our relatives might meddle in our business, bringing pressure to bear on us so that we take the course of action they think would make us happy rather than the one we're confident will. (As if they would know us better than we know ourselves.) And even our closest friends can be tough to stomach on their worst days. They may take their frustrations out on us without necessarily intending to, potentially causing a rift in the friendship. Here are a few tips to prevent you from losing your cool: 1. Remind yourself it's only temporary. You may intend to stay in that job another year before moving on. The family member giving you grief -- your cousin Eddie, for example -- may only be in town for another few days. And your friend, normally of a jovial temperament, m...

Don't allow anyone -- not your friends, not your relatives, not your partner, and not your co-workers -- to put you down for mistakes you've made in the past. Many people have a nasty habit of, in the heat of an argument, or as a result of having a bad day, bringing back to light past mistakes that you've apologized for, learned from, and pledged not to repeat. They likely see it as ammunition they carry in their back pocket in the event they really want to make you feel like crap. They tell themselves that you should be appreciative of the fact they forgave you, even though, in their view, you didn't deserve it. It's as if you "owe" them. If they really forgave you, they should not indulge themselves by giving you guilt trips whenever the mood strikes, even if you've done something more recently to ruffle their feathers. Focusing their ire on the matter at hand is one thing; rehashing things you've put behind you is another entirely. I...

There's been a lot of talk in the media/political sphere concerning fake news. But not as much attention is paid to fake people, especially those who try to pass off as real friends . We count on friends to be there for us in good times and bad, through thick and thin. True friends celebrate our successes and support us in our darkest moments. Though we can't rely on them to solve our problems, just knowing we have their ear or shoulder to cry on can be a big help. At the same time, we'd be willing to do almost anything for them, considering them more like family than some of our own blood relatives. Sadly, some friends don't turn out to be as caring and loyal as we thought. We come to realize that they had ulterior motives for befriending us. Or, the friendship starts out innocently enough, but over time they begin taking the friendship for granted. Three kinds of fake friends  For starters, there are those who forget you exist once they enter into relat...

The reason we expect so much from people is because we would be willing to do that much for them. Unfortunately, though, reality doesn't always align with our expectations. And therein lies the problem: We have a tendency to anticipate that people will think and act like us in a given situation. When they fail to do so, however, we feel let down, if not betrayed. As painful as it can be, our partner, relatives. and close friends will not always act in our best interest. This could happen for a variety of reasons: They put themselves (or even someone else) before you. They don't realize just how much being there really means to you. Life gets in the way.  The important thing is not to take it personally, and the best way to do that is by not having unrealistically high expectations in the first place.  That's not to say that you shouldn't ask others for help when you need it, especially when you've been there for them. And it doesn't mean ...

I came across the following quote on Facebook earlier today: "Fifteen years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Now, the real world is an escape from the internet."  The quote is attributed to Noah Smith, a professor of finance. What Smith is essentially saying is that we seem to "live" digitally now more than we do the traditional way. It makes perfect sense. If you're like me, you probably communicate more with friends and family via email, text, WhatsApp, or social media than you do in person. You're likely shopping more online than you do at brick-and-mortar stores. And you're probably watching movies more frequently through services like Netflix than at the movie theater. While there's no question the convenience the internet affords us has made our lives easier in myriad ways, it's also made human interaction much more impersonal. If you'd asked me in the 90s whether relatives and friends would someday wish ...

No matter your career, goals, or dreams, today's as good a day as any to work hard toward whatever you want to achieve. Whenever the urge strikes to put it off until tomorrow, cancel that thought out mentally at once. Focus on being the very best you can be. Immerse yourself in your passions and believe wholeheartedly that you can accomplish anything you set your heart and mind to. Ignore the naysayers and follow your instincts. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. Make believers out of those who doubt all the great things you're capable of. And if achieving your dreams means not adhering to societal norms -- including pressure your friends, relatives, and coworkers put on you to do things their way -- so be it. It's your life to live, not theirs. Forget about tomorrow. Do your best today, and tomorrow you can build on that.

Society makes singlehood out to be something weird or unfortunate -- something that needs to be remedied. When some people find out a person is in their 40s and 50s and still single, they tend to give the individual awkward looks and assume something must be wrong with them. Well, guess what? Studies show that many people are single and loving it. When asked why they're content being single, many say they relish being free and unshackled. They like not having to depend on or run decisions -- whether financial or otherwise -- by a partner. They love doing whatever they want, whenever they want, with no one to get in their way. Want to wake up at noon? No problem. Leave for Hawaii on a whim? No one's stopping you. And when they're asked whether they do get lonely sometimes, they say they're able to avoid such feelings by tapping into their wide network of friends and relatives. Many of these folks have been burned in the past by an ex and refuse to give thei...

The best people to be around aren't necessarily the nicest, prettiest, or most popular. It's those with whom you feel totally comfortable being yourself . This is how the best, most durable relationships are forged. If you find yourself holding back from being yourself or deliberately putting up a facade so that the other person likes you more, that isn't the kind of company you want in your life. Sure, when we're first getting to know someone, we may hold back somewhat or try to act more in line with the other person's expectations; we are, after all, trying to make a good first impression on them. Gradually, though, the walls should come down and you should feel more at ease letting your true beliefs, opinions, and mannerisms come out without fear of being judged. Those whom we call our friends never make us think or act in ways that feel unnatural or conflict with our values and personalities. If you abstain from drinking or smoking yet are constantly b...

Far too many of us depend on our partner, friends, and relatives to break out of the boredom that comes over us day in and day out. But why? I'm not saying you can't look to these people occasionally, but really...with all there is to do in the world -- from books to blogging to Netflix to skydiving -- why do so many of us make fun and leisure, in all its incarnations, out to be a shared experience? I think certain activities and sports like bowling and basketball are indeed more enjoyable when more people are involved. However, some have taken this to a whole new level. They refuse to go to the gym or watch a movie unless someone accompanies them. It's as if they can't even enjoy a simple workout unless someone else is on hand. It's either that, or flat-out laziness. Some of us can't be bothered to move a muscle unless someone else is there to provide a nudge. This happens quite frequently in relationships: one partner will rely on the other to get thin...

We've  all heard the maxim "misery loves company," but what's the reasoning behind it?  Why is being miserable not as bad when we know someone else is in the same boat? For starters, no one wants to stand out for the wrong reasons. In a room full of happy people, being the only one in the dumps can be utterly unpleasant. The fact that someone else shares your misery makes it seem, well, not so horrible after all. For example, let's say you and two of your colleagues are slated to present your department's new product launch to corporate this morning. You've been driving for 10 minutes when all of the sudden, traffic begins slowing to crawl. You then discover there's been a major accident, and it could be at least another hour before you get to the office. Unfortunately, the meeting starts in 20 minutes, so it's likely you'll miss a good chunk of the meeting. Now, suppose that Jesse, one of the two guys scheduled to make the presentation w...