I'd like to wish all my readers a very Merry Christmas! Whether you're in Connecticut, Calgary, or Calcutta, I hope you are having a wonderful day with friends and family. And if you don't celebrate Christmas, here's to a joyous holiday season.  While the fact Christmas comes only once each year makes it a special time -- especially for kids -- there's no question many parents are breathing a sigh of relief as the day draws to a close.  After all, between shopping for gifts at jam-packed malls, hosting holiday parties, and finalizing loose ends at work before the end of the year, it can be an awfully stressful and frenzied time even for those who consider themselves pros at this sort of thing.  It's important not to lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. It isn't about toys or shopping sprees, but spending time with family and being thankful for what you have. I see it as a continuation or extension of Thanksgiving, even though we ought to...

If you're one of those people who strives to impress other people at every turn, I'm here to tell you one thing: you should be trying to impress y ourself  instead. Some of you may ask, "What does impressing yourself even mean?" In a nutshell, it means growing as a person. Impressing yourself signifies achieving big goals -- succeeding at things even you never thought possible. For example, maybe you're convinced you can't lose 30 pounds in two months or read two voluminous books in a single month, but through hard work and commitment, you prove yourself wrong. There's no better feeling in the world, especially when other people said you couldn't do it. While "I told you so" moments can be empowering, here's the problem with trying to impress other people:cic You'll always fall short of someone's expectations. What's more, people always have something to criticize. You could have lost more weight. You spend way t...

When I consider my closest friendships, I always ask one thing:  Would we have clicked in the same way had we met a year later?  Five years later? Ten years after? Chances are, we would not. The reasons why we gel more with certain people are almost self-explanatory. In general, most of our friends are close to us in age. It's not at all surprising given we probably met them in school or doing some activity that people in our age bracket might enjoy. I met my closest friends in different stages of my life: one in elementary school, one in middle school, one in high school, one in college, and one at my second job out of college. Three of them are single guys with no kids, while the other two -- the best man at my wedding and a female coworker I recently addressed in a prior post -- are married with children. Can you guess which of these friends I see and talk to more? Indeed, my friendships with these two latter friends has changed drastically since they became p...

I know people who are too busy to visit their parents -- that is, except for Mother's Day and Father's Day. Then there are those who have lost one or both parents and become especially sorrowful on these days. One thing I always tell both camps is that Mother's Day and Father's Day are not once a year -- they're every day. I remind the first group that we should think about and reach out to our parents every day. If that's not feasible, it should be at least once a week. I know life gets in the way. We're busy with work, our kids, and so much else. But the fact of the matter is that our parents won't be here forever. We must strive to spend as much time with them as we possibly can while they're still alive. As for the second group, while it's normal to become more melancholy on these days -- who wouldn't with copious Facebook posts and commercials centering on these occasions? -- they should keep one thing in mind. Like all other...

Earlier today, I submitted a post, Why love at first sight is a myth , which argues that establishing a deep, long-lasting connection with someone goes beyond the purely physical. So let's assume that a woman -- we'll call her Martha -- is physically attracted to a man named Joe and clicks with him on a more personal level, leading her to think she's in love with him. Now, let's make the scenario even more intriguing by adding another potential suitor to the mix named Matt, and we'll presume Martha is sure her feelings for Matt are no less intense than those she has for Joe. Is it possible for Martha to be in love with Joe and Matt at the same time? These are the kinds of story lines that great plays and soap operas are made of, but the question is whether it's even feasible in real life. Here's my view: I think Martha can love Joe and Matt at the same time, but to varying degrees. And who's to say that she loves exactly the same things abo...

Many childfree individuals like myself get asked repeatedly when it is that we plan to have children. The pressure is even more pronounced for women, who society expects to kick into baby-making mode as soon as the so-called clock begins to tick. What doesn't add up, though, is that many of the parents asking the question are the same ones who complain about the stress and headaches brought on by parenting. They're endorsing the very thing that's making them go haywire. It's like being miserable at work as an accountant and encouraging others to follow the same career path. As hard and stressful as it may be, having kids is the norm in most people's eyes. It's just "what you do," and if one decides not to have children, people assume sterility is to blame or that something else is wrong.  It's unfair to say that all parents are envious of the childfree, but it's certainly likely that a few of them are. After all, the childfree hav...

I'm still on the fence as to whether I want to have kids, but one thing I've observed about friends and relatives with children that deters me is that their whole identity seems to revolve around their little ones. Do I want that to happen to me? Not sure. I've seen how all-consuming having children can be. My sisters and closest friend, all of whom have one child, seem worn out, their social lives having bit the dust a long time ago. Most parents say things eventually get better, and that somehow you adapt. But it's obvious that having children presents a slew of opportunity costs, including not being able to go out as much and whenever you like, having less money, forgoing quietness and solitude, not being able to sleep in, and so on. What's more, it seems that once you have a baby, your identity becomes wrapped around parenthood -- now you're not John Doe, but John Doe Jr.'s dad. Those who loved and watched sports pre-kids can hardly keep up with th...

Society puts a great deal of pressure on people -- namely women -- to have children. However, we live in a time, with so many birth control options readily available, when people can carefully contemplate such a life-altering commitment. Based on what I've read online and what certain people have told me, introverts and people who place a premium on their free time seem less likely to want to take the leap. I also know this to be true because I myself am one. Here are just a couple of reasons why introverts may be less apt to have children: They value their alone time to read, write, watch documentaries, or pursue other solitary activities They live in their heads Having kids integrates parents more into society (birthday parties, PTA meetings, etc.), which is not good news for introverts who prefer less social interaction Being a parent forces you to be "on" all the time, which can be draining, especially when your kid happens to be loud and unruly Less sleep ...