We've all heard sayings like "patience is a virtue," "good things come to those who wait," and "everything happens at the right time." But are these valid assertions, or just tired platitudes? The fact of the matter is this: Life is a balancing act between striking the right level of patience and working toward one's goals . There's no question that you shouldn't force what you know in your heart isn't for you. For example, if your gut tells you that the position you interviewed for isn't right -- and you can afford to hold off a little longer -- don't accept it if an offer is extended. Or let's pretend you've been single for two years and would do just about anything to hook up with someone. Unfortunately, desperation can drive people to settle for someone who they know deep down is a poor fit. Needless to say, patience can pay huge dividends. You may second guess your decision initially, only to have a mu...

We come across difficult people everywhere -- at work, at family gatherings, and even while driving. No matter how nice you are and how diplomatic you aim to be, there will always be someone bent on raining on your parade, especially if they sense you're generally in a happy mood. Don't pay such individuals any mind. Think of it this way: Why allow someone who doesn't pay your bills, isn't there for you in tough times, and doesn't put you on their priority list exert so much control over your emotions? There are those people over which it makes complete sense to worry -- our parents, our kids, and the like. But letting that surly driver who cut you off on the way home or the obnoxious cashier at the grocery store ruin your day does nothing but empower them. Don't harp on the incident -- just let it go. Distract your mind by listening to music, watching a movie, throwing yourself into your work, taking a nap, playing with your child, or doing anyt...

Relationships are diminished when partners get into the habit of making assumptions. People say facetiously that when you assume, you "make an ass out of you and me." Rather than make assumptions, people should: Find the courage to ask questions, even tough ones. Openly express their needs, wants, and feelings. Communicate as clearly as possible so as to avoid drama and bickering.  Resist the urge to pretend to know what the other individual is thinking.  Making assumptions falls into the same category as playing games.  If you don't know how your partner feels on a given issue, just ask. If asking doesn't yield answers, then there are definite communication problems that need addressing.  In a healthy relationship, partners are glad to bounce ideas off one another and work together to arrive at solutions to problems in the relationship.  Without a strong system of communication in place, partners may potentially distrust one another, ...

If you feel you have to push someone to care about or show interest in you, you're probably wasting your time. When people genuinely care, they don't need any prodding -- they do things because it comes straight from the heart. People make time for and invest energy in the things and people that matter to them. For example, if you sense you have to cajole your boyfriend into committing to you -- even after being together for several years -- what does that say about his interest in taking things with you to the next level? It communicates that he just isn't that serious about your future together. Or suppose that your friend of 10 years seems to serve up a different excuse every time you propose meeting up for coffee. When getting her to say yes is like pulling teeth, that's when it's clear who's really invested and who isn't. We can drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out why a person would act this way, but it would only be an exercise in fu...

It goes without saying that we should all fall in love with someone who treasures our presence rather than takes advantage of it. Someone who will covet our heart, not trample on it. Someone who will not exercise the power you've given them to hurt you. Ah, easier said than done, right? In a perfect world, every relationship would last a lifetime. No one would experience relationship blues of any sort. And the divorce rate would certainly not be in the neighborhood of 50 percent. The truth is that relationships take serious work -- a lot more than some couples are willing to put in. When you first meet and get with someone, you have your blinders on. They seem perfect to you in every way. You picture yourself walking down the aisle, having kids, and living a blissful life together. Then, reality sets in. You have arguments about matters both petty and serious. You can't seem to agree on anything, whether it's what to eat or where to vacation next. You encounter fi...

It isn't your partner in life. It isn't your best friend. It's you. If you don't love yourself, how do you expect to love others? If you don't believe in yourself, how can you believe in those around you? It all starts with you . Happiness resides on the inside. Material items and other people may make you happier in the beginning, but if deep down you aren't happy with yourself, that feeling is ephemeral. You should never rely on a partner or friend to complete you. A significant other, friend or relative only enhances your life, not completes it. It's unfair to put that kind of burden on another human being. And let's face it: People aren't always dependable. When least expected, they may cheat on, lie to, or backstab you. Or, they may not be around one day when you really need them. What then? You should never rely upon external factors like people and material stuff to make you feel happy or complete. The things that give us the m...

Whether you're going through a tough time because you're short on cash, unable to find love, or having marital problems, I have a message for you: Things will eventually work out. That may strike you as impossible at this juncture, but over time, things will fall in place. It may not happen on your timetable, but it will occur nonetheless. This is only a passing storm, a temporary blip, a small fork in the road. With hard work, gumption, an irrepressible drive, and support from friends (including me and others on this blog), you'll land back on your feet before you know it. Don't underestimate your will and capacity to overcome even the most daunting obstacles. You can achieve anything you set your heart and mind to. As someone anonymous once put it, "A river cuts through a rock, not because of its power, but its persistence." Pray, put in a vigorous workout at the gym, treat yourself a hearty meal -- do whatever it takes to relax and blow off so...

No matter your career, goals, or dreams, today's as good a day as any to work hard toward whatever you want to achieve. Whenever the urge strikes to put it off until tomorrow, cancel that thought out mentally at once. Focus on being the very best you can be. Immerse yourself in your passions and believe wholeheartedly that you can accomplish anything you set your heart and mind to. Ignore the naysayers and follow your instincts. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. Make believers out of those who doubt all the great things you're capable of. And if achieving your dreams means not adhering to societal norms -- including pressure your friends, relatives, and coworkers put on you to do things their way -- so be it. It's your life to live, not theirs. Forget about tomorrow. Do your best today, and tomorrow you can build on that.

If there's one thing that leads a relationship down the road to ruin, it's when someone assumes that whatever they do -- no matter how selfish or heartless -- will be forgiven and forgotten, and that his or partner will always be there to receive them with open arms. My girlfriend in high school learned this the hard way. She was as flaky as can be, telling me one minute that she wasn't ready for something serious and reeling me back in the next with hugs and tender messages. Well, she was completely blindsided by my decision to end the relationship only a few months after we began dating. I just couldn't stand the games anymore, and I knew I could do better. I was then on my way to college, where a bountiful crop of single women awaited me. I will admit that I probably asked for it. I was a bit of a pushover in those days, virtually worshiping the ground whichever girl I was interested in walked on. A similar situation played out with another girl I dated a few...

Whether it's in the realm of love, friendship, or even your career, you should never have to force yourself to do anything. If deep down you feel like something doesn't come naturally, it's probably not right for you. For example, if you find yourself rolling your eyes everytime the person you're dating calls you, chances are you're not into him or her. And if the thought of going on another date seems like a chore, that only adds fuel to the argument. Even if your friends or relatives prod you to give someone a chance, you shouldn't cave if your heart isn't in it. And the worst thing you can do is remain in the relationship only because you feel bad for the other person. All that does is give them false hope. You wouldn't want someone to do the same to you, right? Moreover, if you're forcing yourself to keep alive a decades-old friendship while your buddy seems to have forgotten you exist, there comes a point where you have to say, "i...

There's a quote I saw somewhere a few years ago that has stayed firmly embedded in memory: "To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may be the world." Think about it. There are roughly 7 to 7.5 billion people on earth. Unless you're Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Kim Kardashian, or some other famous politician or celebrity, you -- like me -- are merely a speck of matter on this vast, overpopulated planet. Luckily, each and every one of us has a special place in someone's heart. We're all the center of someone's universe, whether it's that of our kids, partner, friends, or all of the above. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be loved by a few people and remain largely obscure to the general population than be in the shoes of celebrities and politicians, many of whom are reviled by people from all corners of the world. There's a reason why people go through an intense grieving process when they lose...

Each day brings challenges, to be sure, but it also brings at least one reason to smile and cherish life. Maybe it's the mere fact that you're alive to see another day. Maybe it's your spouse, kids, friends, or pets. Perhaps it's your extensive book collection, side business, or the charities you're active in. Whenever I feel the urge to complain about something, I quickly try to cancel out that negative feeling by thinking about something I'm deeply appreciative for and passionate about. As bad as things get, there's always a silver living that can turn our frown into a smile -- however fleeting it may be.  Even if you've come across a string of bad days, if today is even slightly better than yesterday, that alone is a step in the right direction. For example, let's say you're on a diet and are aiming to drop 20 pounds. After a day or so of dieting, you weigh yourself and, to your dismay, you've actually gained a pound. You repeat t...

Why is it that we close our eyes when we do certain things -- like hug, kiss, pray, and cry? That's easy: It's because the most beautiful and exciting things in life are not seen, but felt with the heart . In other words, we find little need to see anything or anyone, for the intense emotions we experience come from deep within. Consider people who ride rollercoasters. At some point, they've closed their eyes just before a sharp turn or steep drop. Why? Because they become so consumed by their emotions -- fear and excitement among them -- that visuals seemingly take a back seat. In fact, many people find rollercoaster rides far more exciting when they close their eyes than when they keep them open throughout. I'm sure you've also noticed that many people -- perhaps including you -- close their eyes while eating scrumptious food, whether a cheese pizza or juicy steak. And there's no denying that a kiss on the lips doesn't feel as passionate i...

Do what is right for you . No one else is walking in your shoes. No one knows you -- your fears, your passions, your goals -- better than you do. Never let anyone chart your path for you, for only you know the ultimate road to fulfillment in your life. Never let anyone convince you that whatever you wish to pursue isn't right for you -- only you have the final say in that. Never let anyone dissuade you from attempting to accomplish even the loftiest of goals. If your heart and mind are in the right place, you can achieve anything. Your parents' or friends' experiences won't necessarily be your own. Just because they failed at something doesn't mean you will. Perhaps they lack your will to persevere in the face of long odds. Sometimes people secretly want you to fail; never, ever give them that satisfaction. There's no greater feeling in the world than proving someone who said you couldn't achieve something wrong . Only you have the right to say you ca...

Ever heard the song "Don't Stop Believin''' by Journey? It's the kind of song we ought to hear whenever we doubt ourselves, which, for some of us, happens all too often. But the fact of the matter is that we have no choice but to believe in ourselves -- because no one else is going to do it for us. A lack of self-confidence impairs our ability to land dates, get jobs, build relationships, and -- most important -- enjoy life. Doubting ourselves can lead to low self-esteem, which can in turn snowball into depression and other more serious health outcomes. Once it becomes apparent that many of the excuses you concoct for not succeeding are in your head, you come to realize that you've been holding yourself back for no reason at all. Maybe your parents or peers told you that you couldn't achieve something and brainwashed you against yourself. But how would they know what you're capable of if they're not you? A person can achieve anyt...

Is winning a person's mind as important as winning his or heart? To some people, smarts aren't nearly as important as qualities like honesty, humility, and compassion. To others (myself included), intelligence is among the qualities desired most in a partner. I think brains are beyond sexy. I love having a partner who can challenge me intellectually. It doesn't necessarily mean she has to be a walking textbook (though academic knowledge will certainly win her brownie points). Rather, she has to be able to make strong, logical arguments to support her position on issues of the day -- whether it be technology, the economy, racial strife, or politics. In other words, I want my partner to be in the know. One of the ways my wife ultimately won my heart was by winning my mind first. I saw how smart she was -- she's a teacher by the way -- and didn't take long to become enamored of her. A woman who may not rank high in physical attractiveness instantly becomes mo...