We all want to believe the best in people.  It feels good to think that those who smile at us, cheer us on, and stick around are truly on our side.  But the truth is, not everyone in your circle has your best interests at heart. Some people wear masks — pretending to care, pretending to listen, pretending to be genuine — while secretly harboring envy, selfish motives, or just plain dishonesty. The danger isn’t just that fake people waste your time. They can sabotage your goals, deplete your energy, and even wreck your self-esteem if you permit them to remain in your life unchecked.  The key is learning to spot the red flags early so you can protect yourself before the damage is done. Red Flags You Shouldn't Ignore 1. Their support feels conditional. Fake people are easy to find when things are going well — but when you stumble, they seemingly vanish into thin air. If someone only applauds you at your highs but disappears during your lows, pay close attention. This signal...

Do you ever get that sneaking suspicion that someone is lying to you even though you want to believe them? Maybe it's a co-worker who tries to assure you she wasn't the one who furtively stole the stapler. Maybe it's a friend who calls you at the last minute to say they've come down with a stomach bug and cannot attend your birthday party.  The simplest way to tell if someone is lying to you is to assess whether their words match their actions. For example, I was once involved with a woman who professed her love for me day and night.  I'd met her online and was always eager to meet up in person, but she never seemed to share in that enthusiasm. Everytime I proposed going to the mall or movies together, she came up with a new excuse for why she couldn't go. After much cajoling, she agreed to meet face-to-face. I was smitten and always looked forward to our next encounter, but the feeling didn't seem mutual.  In the end, I saw her two or three times, and then ...

Have you ever been in a relationship devoid of trust? Did it ultimately break down because you simply couldn't confide in your partner? When trust evaporates in a relationship, it becomes very difficult -- if not impossible -- to restore. Trust is as integral to a relationship as honesty, love, communication, kindness, and loyalty.  Trusting the other person is our decision, but it is their choice to value our trust and demonstrate that they're deserving of it. If you have to play detective in your relationship, then the trust just isn't there. If you have to second-guess their every move because they keep you on edge all the time, trust is non-existent. It is at that point that one must do whatever is necessary to build or restore it, or simply call the relationship quits. Here are just some of the ways trust in a partner can cease to exist: They lie to us. This can take a host of forms (e.g., cheating, feigning their love, etc.)  They steal from us....

There are two kinds of people who give excuses when it comes to establishing or maintaining contact with you: (1) Those who give excuses for why they can't call, text, or visit you, and (2) Those who come up with excuses to call, text, or visit you. Notice the difference? While the former can sometimes serve up valid reasons (e.g., have to take care of kid, have to do work at home, etc.), if the weeks continue to go by and the person doesn't bother to answer your texts or return your calls, face it -- they just don't care enough about the relationship. The latter group shows the exact opposite. Come hell or high water, they find a way to squeeze some time into their schedule for the two of you to catch up because they value you and do not want the relationship to falter. A little distance is commonplace even in the healthiest relationships. We all lead different lives with disparate schedules and changing priorities. But that doesn't mean a brief phone call ...

In life, human beings are prone to break things -- everything from vases and clothing to lips and legs. But this post specifically addresses three non-tangible things that should never be broken. Can you guess what they are? The three things that should never be broken in life are trust, promises, and hearts. We're all human and can acknowledge breaking one or more of these on at least a couple of occasions -- just as we can cite specific cases where others have done it at our expense. All three of these revolve around commitment. When you place your trust  in someone, you are counting on them to come through in some way. It can be anything from babysitting your child to expecting that they'll pay their half of the rent every month. Sometimes, though, certain situations merit a declaration of assurance -- whether written or verbal -- that the person will do something. A promise is essentially a pledge or vow that we tend to associate with wedding vows ("I ...

Love isn't just about what you say, but what you do. Because communicating orally is something we can't escape from, our actions should serve to reinforce our words. Sure, everyone likes to hear an "I love you" thrown their way every so often. But what good is uttering such words when they're not backed up with substantive action? It's those concrete actions that really give the words meaning. Far too often, people rely solely on words to placate their partner or get themselves out of arguments. More likely than not, what leads to those arguments is an absence of action -- one or both partners failing to live up to something they said they would do. If love were based only on words, people would get away with lying and promising things without intending to deliver in earnest. It's no wonder relationships start to go downhill when someone is caught in a lie, let alone repeatedly. If you don't trust your partner -- if you don't feel c...