If someone in your life has a tendency to push you around, it's time to stand firm. It doesn't matter whether it's your partner, friend, sibling, or co-worker. No one deserves to be treated that way. The sad truth is that bullying isn't limited to adolescents who make fun of other kids' weight or beleaguer them for lunch money. Adults, too, can manipulate and take advantage of people in their orbit. One surefire way for things to reach this point  is by allowing people to perceive you as a pushover. Once they see you as someone they can run roughshod over, they'll carry on until you put a stop to such distasteful behavior. So, you're likely asking how you can tackle the problem. I always advise people to try to have an honest conversation in private first. You never know if the person harbors ill will toward you because of a misunderstanding, a false rumor, or a mistaken first impression. In that conversation, it's important to driv...

People often ask me what they should do if they feel someone in their life -- whether their partner, close friend, or relative -- has been taking them for granted. They expect me to advise them to confront or yell at the individual. But I recommend they take a markedly different course of action -- one that leaves them visibly shocked. I advise them to thank the person, and move on. You may be asking why in the world you would thank them for anything. After all, all they've done is take advantage of the person. Well, you would thank them for one very simple reason. They've demonstrated through their actions that they're simply not worth your time, and you're simply saying thanks for helping you arrive at that conclusion. You're saying thanks for helping you realize that you deserve better -- and never again will you allow anyone to exploit your generous nature. You're saying thanks because, going forward, you're going to strive to be more judic...

I noticed a quote online the other day that not only rings true for most of us, but perfectly sums up some of life's biggest ironies: "It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence, absence to value presence." In other words, we need to experience what it's like not to have something in order to appreciate having it. We take something for granted and only begin to appreciate the happiness it brings us once it's no longer there. For example, I've ended friendships and relationships over the years with people who took advantage of my kind, generous nature. The deep sadness I was feeling -- coupled with the fact I was at wits end -- prompted me to pull the plug, and I eventually found happiness in the company of others who valued my time. Though disappointed and contrite at first, they later thanked me for teaching them what it really means to appreciate others. They ingrained this in their minds moving forward, helping them improve ...

Many people show more interest in other people when they're not around than when they are. We all have that coworker who may not talk to us for days at work, but somehow they notice when we're not there and proceed to inquire about it. Many of us have been in a relationship where the other person takes us for granted -- until we begin to show signs of getting fed up and cease putting in as much time and effort. Then there's the friend who only seems to care about the friendship once you've stopped calling and visiting them. If we want people to appreciate us, we have no choice but to force them to invest time and effort in us too -- not just the other way around. By doing so, the individual realizes that if they're taking their spare time to do something for us, they must truly care about us. The tendency to take others for granted is a theme I've broached in myriad posts on the blog. I understand that we get busy, and being unable to answer every ...