If there's something you should never allow your partner do, it's to treat you like an option rather than like a priority. I've said time and time again that we should never expect our partner to complete us, as only we can achieve that. However, it's fair game to lean toward our partner when: We've had a rotten day and could use a little pick-me-up through their support and encouragement  We've experienced a happy moment or occurrence -- whether a promotion or achievement of some other personal/professional milestone -- and would like to share it with them We're facing a tough challenge or decision and would value their input  But if your partner treats you like you're secondary to other matters or people, you've got a major problem on your hands -- one that needs to be addressed immediately before tensions escalate further. Maybe you've been yearning for a date night with her for months, but says she has to work late or already made plans with ...

It's normal to put yourself first every now and then. After all, if we constantly bend over for everyone but ourselves -- the demanding boss, the friend who's always broke -- our well-being will eventually take a major nosedive.  The people we have to be especially wary of the ones who take, take, take -- but never give back. Relationships are about scratching each other's back. But this doesn't necessarily mean they always have to be 50/50.  There will be times where one person is more in need than the other, whether they're struck with an unexpected illness, they lose a loved one, or they get fired from work.  We all have to contend with adversity at different points in our lives, and we often turn to friends and family for support.  But what if they fail to accommodate you even after we've been there for them countless times? It should be an indication that they're in it for themselves. I can understand their not being able to lend you money each and ever...

Having a bad day?  Maybe you're having problems in your relationship, trouble at work, or issues at home.  No matter what you're going through, take comfort in the fact that we've all been there. But you know what? You'll get through this -- just like you have before.  You're strong. You're brave. You're capable of achieving anything you set your mind to! These storms will eventually pass -- and they'll give way to brighter, happier days. You will be smiling and laughing again in no time, relieved that the worst is behind you and confident once more that wonderful possibilities lie on the horizon.  Whenever you feel the need, take a deep breath. Don't feel afraid to spend time alone with your thoughts. Sometimes finding the right solution -- and ultimately, peace of mind -- means disconnecting for a few moments from other people.  And don't give into the temptation to: Blame yourself Point the finger at others Har...

How many times have you caught yourself ruminating interminably about that blind date you have coming up, that big presentation you're scheduled to deliver at work in a few weeks, or that doctor's appointment you've been pushing back for months now? Overthinking can have corrosive effects on us. Not only does it build anxiety, but it can negatively affect our sleeping routines, eating habits, relationships, and self-esteem. And the worst part about it? Overthinking solves nothing. Sure, a little angst is healthy, but brooding over things that have not yet come to pass won't in any way affect the outcome. Most people will admit to dreaming up doomsday scenarios in their head that never even come to pass. Our negative thoughts, in effect, can run rampant. This can trap us in a vicious cycle that can be very difficult to come out of. When you're anxious, you lose your zest for life. As is the case with depression, you may turn down others' invitations to ...

A co-worker recently intimated to me that she isn't big on befriending people at work. When I asked her why, she said you never really know who you can trust. In her experience, sometimes the last people you would expect to stab you in the back are the ones who do. I couldn't refute what she was saying because I have experienced it myself. Some people pretend to be nice -- to like you, to be your friend -- but when the opportunity arises, they sell you out without blinking, wholly inconsiderate of your feelings. Does this mean we should be cynical with everyone we come across? Of course not. What it means is that you shouldn't confide in them until you know for sure that they're trustworthy, and that includes: Not divulging information about your relationships, finances, or other personal matters that they can then use against you if things go sour. Not doing favors for them (at least not constantly) before you know whether they've got your back ...

The benefits good people provide in our lives are varied and obvious. They're kind, loving, and compassionate. They teach us to be grateful for the support and generosity we receive from loved ones, especially during difficult times. Now what about bad people -- the selfish, narcissistic, dishonest, insensitive, opportunistic individuals we come across every now and then? Do they benefit us in any way? Absolutely. Like the good people, they teach us a valuable lesson: Whom not to associate with. They demonstrate the opposite qualities we should strive to develop and nurture ourselves, seek in other people, and instill in our children. They embody precisely the kind of person we should aim to avoid because, rather than enhance our lives like the good people do, they diminish them with their pride, self-absorption, and callousness. Granted, nobody's perfect. We all exhibit shades of selfishness here and there. We all fib on occasion. But some people take it to a who...

You shouldn't support a friend's every decision -- not when it involves their engaging in self-destructive behavior. That can range from doing drugs or stealing to cutting themselves. They say friends back each other up through thick and thin, but "backing up" doesn't mean endorsing the person's behavior if they're a danger to themselves or others. In such cases, you should get them the help they need to abandon such habits -- from family, other friends, neighbors, colleagues, a therapist, and so forth. By keeping your mouth shut and allowing your friend to continue such acts, you're enabling them. It makes you an accomplice who's every bit as guilty as your friend, even if you're not engaging in the same behavior. If you know they're doing things that can get them in serious trouble with the law and/or harm their well-being, try to convince them to stop. If that doesn't work, get the person's loved ones involved. When no ...

Whether you're going through a tough time because you're short on cash, unable to find love, or having marital problems, I have a message for you: Things will eventually work out. That may strike you as impossible at this juncture, but over time, things will fall in place. It may not happen on your timetable, but it will occur nonetheless. This is only a passing storm, a temporary blip, a small fork in the road. With hard work, gumption, an irrepressible drive, and support from friends (including me and others on this blog), you'll land back on your feet before you know it. Don't underestimate your will and capacity to overcome even the most daunting obstacles. You can achieve anything you set your heart and mind to. As someone anonymous once put it, "A river cuts through a rock, not because of its power, but its persistence." Pray, put in a vigorous workout at the gym, treat yourself a hearty meal -- do whatever it takes to relax and blow off so...

Here's an outstanding quote from Eleanor Roosevelt to get your week off on the right foot: "With the new day comes strength and new thoughts." - Eleanor Roosevelt  As I noted in an earlier post, each new day is like pressing the reset button. It presents an opportunity to rid yourself of the negativity of yesterday and fill your mind with positive thoughts as you look ahead to the future. You survived another day. Whatever it is you're going through didn't kill you. That can only mean one thing: you've emerged stronger. The will to persevere is more powerful than many of us realize. Just when we think we've reached the end of our rope, we find the strength to tie a knot and hang on. But this can only be possible through the power of positive thinking. You have to believe wholeheartedly that things can and will get better, and you have to do your part to facilitate that -- from reaching out to friends and family for support to smiling and find...

It isn't being a good cook or a hardcore sports fan, though those things definitely help. A secret to winning a man's heart is to be supportive of his decisions, whether they involve his health, appearance, education, or career. Among the many things a man seeks in a woman is encouragement . He wants a partner who will encourage him to follow his dreams, no matter how outlandish they may seem at first. Even if you find his plan to leave the medical field and become a professor preposterous, for example, don't lambast him for it. Hear him out and see what he has to say. His reasons for wanting to make the switch may be totally valid. Every man desires a woman he can confide in -- someone who inspires him to reach for the stars, not shoots down his every aspiration. If you take exception to all or most of his plans, you can rest assured he'll come to one conclusion: you are not the person he sees himself having a future with. In the end, men want someone who bel...

During which months of the year do you think suicides are most prevalent? Contrary to popular belief, suicide attempts actually drop during the holidays. The lower suicide rates are thought to be linked to increased family time and support during this time of year. According to Psychology Today , there were over 38,000 suicides in the U.S. in 2010, making it the 12th leading cause of death. To put this in perspective, more people died from suicide than automobile accidents. While ephemeral thoughts of suicide are common in many people, suicide threats often go ignored. Suicide is often associated with depression, which is, of course, treatable. I've read one too many stories of people whose suicide threats fell on deaf ears. In other cases, people stop short of making actual threats, but they show various signs of depression -- from loss of appetite to incessant crying -- that propel them to do the unthinkable. It's imperative that anyone with thoughts of suicide be tak...