Experiencing something -- the savory taste of a pepperoni pizza, the sound of gentle waves lapping sugary white sand -- can be an utter delight to the senses.  But according to studies, the experience actually pales in comparison to the anticipation of that experience.  Here are just a few examples: 1. Planning and looking forward to a vacation vs. actually being there. 2. Planning to buy clothes, a car, or other items compared to consuming them.  3. Picturing yourself eating a hearty meal (especially on an empty stomach and/or while watching a restaurant ad) vs actually eating it.  Dopamine, commonly considered the happiness or "feel good" chemical, is more involved in the anticipation of an event or feeling than in the actual feeling of happiness. Often, the experience falls short of what we imagined, whether because it rains on the trip, the food leaves us with gas, or we get buyers' remorse for something we later discover we could have bought elsewhere for much c...

Have you ever been turned down by someone you really, really dig? It can be a real bummer when a person you fancy is unable to reciprocate the feelings you have for them. But you mustn't let such an outcome get you down. Everyone experiences rejection at some point or another. It's not a reflection of your physical appearance or character necessarily. It is simply indicative of the fact that different people have different taste. Maybe you fall a little short (no pun intended) when it comes to their preferred height, or they're seeking someone who's more on the adventurous side. Or, perhaps they realize the two of you have chemistry, but they're already in a relationship. Or it may very well be that they just got out of a rocky marriage and wish to remain single for now. In other words, you may not meet that specific person's criteria, but it certainly doesn't mean that'll be the case with every man or woman you pursue. You will eventua...

Many people have a penchant for imposing their views and opinions on others. This may very well be prompted by (1) their own insecurities (2) sheer arrogance (3) their inability to accept that others may not share said views or opinions. There's nothing wrong with offering well-meaning advice. But when people prod you to enter a certain line of work, date particular people, or pursue certain passions even after you've expressed no interest in them, that's when they've crossed a line. It's at that very point that innocent suggestions seem more like incessant hounding, and you have every right to put a stop to it -- even if it may spell the end of the relationship. These folks need to realize that they, like you, have their own lives to live and should not butt into other people's business. Some individuals have a serious problem comprehending -- much less accepting -- that others may not think or act like them. Just because they acted a certain way in...

Whenever we fall into a rut, we may be tempted to "escape" to the past -- a time, our minds tell us, that was surely better than the present. But don't give in or you might sink into a depression! Reminiscing every so often is healthy. We've all taken part in wonderful experiences we can -- and should -- look back on fondly. And if we're lucky, we captured such unforgettable moments in pictures and videos, which certainly heighten the nostalgia. But attempting to run away from the problems we face today by living in the past certainly doesn't solve them; in fact, it can exacerbate them. So why do people seek refuge in the past anyway? Because the past is safe.  We already know what happens. Whatever issues we grappled with then have already been resolved -- as opposed to now, where we don't know exactly what will happen in the future. The mind has a way of tricking us into thinking that things were a lot better in the old days than they are n...

Many people feel that if they're unsuccessful at something, they've failed -- not just themselves, but others as well. They take a defeatist attitude, convincing themselves that they're losers. They second-guess their decisions.  They beat themselves up over not trying hard enough.  They tell themselves that if only they had said this or done that, they might have prevailed.  I'm here to tell you this:  You don't lose. You either win, or you learn. For example, maybe you didn't get the job, but you realize you can polish your resume a bit and work on improving your interviewing skills. Perhaps you made a couple of uncouth remarks on your blind date that are likely to blame for the fact you never heard from the person again. This shows you that thinking before you speak might be something to shoot for.  Or, maybe you failed an exam you assumed you could pass by cramming for a few hours the night before, demonstrating how importan...

Don't allow anyone -- from your closest friend to your worst enemy -- to step all over you. No matter the circumstance, you are as deserving of the other person's respect as they are of yours. If you're in a relationship with someone who thinks they can run roughshod over you because you've spoiled them rotten, it's time to establish new ground rules or get out of the relationship. Otherwise, you'll continue to be taken for granted. Similarly, if your friend seems to remember you exist only when they need something, make it clear to them that there is no such thing as a friendship built on selfishness. As with relationships, both people should reciprocate time and effort. If your toxic boss is convinced you'll put up with anything just to keep your job, prove him or her wrong by arranging a closed-door conversation. Impress upon them that they have absolutely no right to treat you like garbage, and hint that you'll take your skills and experie...

Never allow anyone to invalidate or minimize how you feel. If you feel something, those feelings are real to you and ought to be respected. No one else can know exactly how you feel because no other person has been in your very shoes! No one else lives in your body. No one else sees life through your eyes. No one has the same interests, fears, quirks, and goals. No one shares your personality. No one has lived through the same experiences you have. That's why no one has the power to dictate or judge what you feel. Your feelings matter; never should they be dismissed or mocked. You deserve to be heard because your feelings are inherently valid. Don't allow anyone to make you believe otherwise! People are entitled to their own opinions, but not to their own facts. Though they may offer well-intentioned advice, they don't get to decide whether your feelings are justified in a given situation -- no matter how much life experience/wisdom they may claim to have. No tw...

Want to know a quick and easy way to feeling happier? Be grateful . It's as simple as that. A week or so ago, I had quite a scare. When I got home from work last Friday evening, I got a bad vibe -- a "something is missing" vibe. To my dismay, while using my cell phone, I noticed that my wedding band was not on my finger!  I hadn't the slightest clue where it could be; I couldn't even remember the last time I'd seen it. It's one of those things where you grow so accustomed to having or seeing something that you automatically assume it's always there. Unfortunately, it wasn't the first time in recent weeks that the ring had slid off my finger. It happened on another occasion where it fell in a drawer I was rummaging through to find a receipt. That should have been a warning to take the ring to get adjusted.) My wife and I frantically searched for the ring -- in our condo, along the walk paths outside, in my car. We even searched my cubicl...

The world consists of 8 planets, 204 countries, 804 islands, 7 seas, and a whopping 7 billion people. We're merely a speck in this vast, ever-expanding universe. That being said, should you allow one person -- whether your obnoxious boss, an annoying neighbor, or the maniac who cut you off while driving to work this morning -- to sabotage your day? Of course not. In the grand scheme of life, the kinds of things we bicker and complain about are insignificant. Taking on this attitude is easier said than done in a tense, emotionally-charged situation where someone really tests your patience. For example, let's pretend someone cuts you off on your way to work, nearly hitting the brand new car you've worked your behind off to afford. While you're both at a red light, the driver of the other car gets out of his vehicle and exhorts you -- in an expletive-laden rant -- to learn how to drive, even though he was the one who failed to observe the rules of the road. And...

In an ideal world, we'd all be paid handsomely to work in a company we love doing work about which we're fervently passionate, all while being surrounded by wonderful people. If this sounds like your situation, congratulations -- you're the envy of many a disgruntled working bee in Corporate America. Most of us, however, take issue with some aspect about our jobs. Though many of these aren't easy to pinpoint until you've been on the job for at least a month or two, think twice about remaining in or going to a company where: 1. There's no room to grow. Are you the ambitious type? If all that stands in the way of getting that coveted VP spot is, well, ten other people, you're better off looking elsewhere. Even if you're just waiting for your boss to retire, you may be left waiting for a while. 2. You have no voice. If your boss and other higher-ups discourage creative freedom, you might grow to resent the job very quickly. Companies that are so r...

Is having too many choices good or bad? Some might say it's a good thing, as it allows you to pick what best suits your needs. Others contend it can be a bad thing in that it causes you to second guess your decisions, especially if the alternatives are fairly comparable. We face this type of conundrum on an almost-daily basis. Which job offer should I accept? Which computer should I buy? Which of these two guys should I become exclusive with? About a month or two before graduating from college, I was hitting the pavement hard in hopes of landing a full-time job. (Mind you, this wasn't long before the global recession began.) I went on a flurry of interviews and was offered nearly every position I applied for. I turned down the first two because I thought the salary being offered was a tad low. Besides, I didn't want to run after the first opportunity that came my way; I wished to take a little more time testing the job market waters. Unfortunately, the positio...

In life, human beings are prone to break things -- everything from vases and clothing to lips and legs. But this post specifically addresses three non-tangible things that should never be broken. Can you guess what they are? The three things that should never be broken in life are trust, promises, and hearts. We're all human and can acknowledge breaking one or more of these on at least a couple of occasions -- just as we can cite specific cases where others have done it at our expense. All three of these revolve around commitment. When you place your trust  in someone, you are counting on them to come through in some way. It can be anything from babysitting your child to expecting that they'll pay their half of the rent every month. Sometimes, though, certain situations merit a declaration of assurance -- whether written or verbal -- that the person will do something. A promise is essentially a pledge or vow that we tend to associate with wedding vows ("I ...

Some of the people in your inner circle -- whether friends, coworkers, or acquaintances -- may attempt to convince you that they know what's best for you, even if you beg to differ.  In essence, they're saying that they know you better than you know yourself! This is, of course, utterly preposterous.  No one but you knows all your fears, misgivings, hopes, and dreams. No one other than you has been at your side 24 hours a day, seven days a week, every single day of your life.  While your parents, siblings, or friends are likely to have taught you a few valuable lessons as you've gotten older, there are others you've learned through personal experience.  That being said, how can a person claim to have a better handle on you than, well, you? Be wary of these people, I tell you, for they aim to foist their own beliefs and opinions on you as if they were the law.  Whatever you do, do not cave. People do this for one simple reason:...

I've gone to more job interviews than I can count with my hands and toes. Over the years, I've observed signals conveying that the interviewer isn't sufficiently interested in me as a candidate, whether it's because they've already chosen an internal candidate for the job, feel I'm asking for too much money, or think I lack job experience. Such signs may include wrapping up the interview quickly. For example, I was once invited to an interview for a job with my alma mater. It lasted a whopping five minutes, leading me to assume that job had someone else's name on it and they were just going through the motions to conform to hiring regulations. It's also not a good sign when I'm not asked any questions, when the interviewer arrives late/doesn't seem prepared for the interview, or when they're blatantly rude or disrespectful. Employers who are genuinely interested in you don't stoop to this level; they care about the impression th...

Can you guess the one thing no one can take from you? If you said learning , knowledge , or education , you've hit the nail on the head. People can break into your house and steal your jewelry. They can snoop through your drawers at work and snag the million dollar idea you wrote on a post-it note. But no one can magically teleport into your brain and pilfer your knowledge. What's in the mind stays in the mind. That's why we should all aim to nourish our minds with as much information as we possibly can. The more we learn, the more we enrich ourselves. Human beings have a tendency to want to conserve their mental resources wherever possible. But thinking critically keeps the brain sharp, whether we're playing Scrabble or dreaming up ways to get a new business off the ground. Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Learning is the only thing the mind never exhausts, never fears, and never regrets." Fortunately, you're never too young or too old to lea...

Whether you're striving to fulfill a long-held dream or resolve a vexing problem, I'm here to tell you one thing: you can do it. There's really no way around it. You have no choice but to believe you're capable of doing it; otherwise, you won't get very far. Yankees great Yogi Berra once quipped, "It ain't over till it's over." What that means is that until you've thrown in the proverbial towel -- until you've given up -- you have a fighting chance at success. Instead of sitting around and serving up excuses for why you can't do something, try a different approach. With every unsuccessful attempt we gain more wisdom and experience, making us a bit more likely to triumph next time. Positive thinking attracts positive outcomes. However, success doesn't come without hard work, persistence, and sacrifice. It usually requires a serious investment of some resource -- whether time or money -- that we may not always be inclined to...

I made an appointment yesterday to get a haircut at my local barbershop. One of the reasons I switched from my old barbershop to this one was because I grew tired of having to wait 30 or more minutes for my turn despite my making an apppointment. Since making the switch about 8 months ago, I never had to wait more than 5 minutes to be attended. That all changed last night. Whether it was the fact that Valentine's Day is a couple of days away, or it just so happens that many people showed up at the same time on the same night, I had to wait close to an hour to be tended to. (Another woman made an appointment to get her hair dyed at 6:30, the same time I scheduled my appointment for.) I'm willing to look past this annoying incident given that, up until now, the place has never disappointed me. However, if this begins to happen more frequently, I won't be a happy camper. I spend so much time stuck in traffic each day (an hour to work and another hour going hom...

It's interesting how much life really changes as we get older. When we're young -- say, in our late teens and early 20s -- we have ample time for ourselves, but not much money to make the most of that time. Once we hit our 30s -- the time when we typically settle down to start a family and are more established in our careers -- we find ourselves on more solid footing financially, but with much less time available than we had in our post-high school years. It isn't until the kids move out for college that we transition back to a life where we can focus more on ourselves and our interests, but by then, those interests tend to be radically different than the ones we enjoyed when we were younger. It's no surprise more and more couples are waiting longer to have kids -- or are opting not to have them at all.  Perfectly content with their sans-kids lifestyle, such couples are in no hurry to go from a life of unfettered freedom to baby bottles and Dora the Explorer. ...

We'd all agree that working with younger people has its advantages and disadvantages, as does working with more seasoned coworkers. But what one finds to be a pro or con about a certain age group really depends on their own age, experience, and other factors. In general, though, you can probably pinpoint a few characteristics of younger and older employees that would hold no matter where you work. For starters, many younger employees -- those in their 20s and 30s -- are eager to prove themselves, sometimes leading them to angle for the big projects and clients before they've earned their stripes (much to the chagrin of some bosses who want to keep those for themselves). While people can still be ambitious in their 50s and 60s, they may not be as aggressive in showcasing their skills or fishing for plum projects. At this juncture, they're usually settled and averse to job hopping, especially as they eye retirement. I've also observed that younger employees se...

I've noticed that many employers couldn't care less about your educational background these days. I've gone to myriad interviews thus far in my career. From what I can remember, only one has ever commented on or raised questions about my degree. I wouldn't be surprised if many crafty people who don't hold a bachelor's degree fudge their resumes to include one and end up getting away with it. Large, structured organizations (e.g., Fortune 500 companies, the federal government, etc.) are more likely to conduct background checks to verify that you earned one, but many small businesses and start-ups that watch every penny don't bother. Everyone and his brother has a bachelor's degree, which is why many people say the bachelor's degree is the new high school diploma. In general, job seekers need to rely on more than the degree to set themselves apart. Indeed, recruiters tend to zero in on two particular things that they see as being far more valu...