When someone feels no remorse over cheating on their partner, it only means they never cared for them in the first place. Think about the world of hurt that revelations of infidelity can put the victim in. It's like taking a knife and stabbing the person right in the heart. Studies have shown that emotional pain can be just as damaging -- if not more so -- than physical pain. And when one experiences this form of betrayal, it can feel as though their world has come crashing down. Imagine investing your time, effort, and emotions in someone who chose to throw it all away in an act (or several) of pure selfishness. The least they could do is fess up and allow their partner to find someone who will actually value their loyalty. Unfortunately, it's very hard to discern early into the relationship whether your partner is prone to cheating, or will slip at some point. (It isn't as if you're going to put out feelers by asking his friends or relatives whether he...

Though falling in love and staying in love might seem the same, they're certainly not. So what's the key difference? We fall in love by chance, but we stay in love by choice. Of course, whether we stay in love depends just as much on us as it does our partner. If one or both partners cease doing these things, it's possible one or both can fall out of love: Surprising the other with love notes, leaving little gifts, going on romantic walks at the beach, and doing other things that drew you closer together in the beginning of the relationship Allocating time and energy for each other as opposed to always putting work or friends first Infusing the relationship with variety so that things don't become routine (e.g., trying out new restaurants, visiting new destinations, etc.) Being there for one another in good times and bad, whether it's to be present for a birthday or console the other following the death of a loved one Striving to better them...

Don't allow anyone -- from your closest friend to your worst enemy -- to step all over you. No matter the circumstance, you are as deserving of the other person's respect as they are of yours. If you're in a relationship with someone who thinks they can run roughshod over you because you've spoiled them rotten, it's time to establish new ground rules or get out of the relationship. Otherwise, you'll continue to be taken for granted. Similarly, if your friend seems to remember you exist only when they need something, make it clear to them that there is no such thing as a friendship built on selfishness. As with relationships, both people should reciprocate time and effort. If your toxic boss is convinced you'll put up with anything just to keep your job, prove him or her wrong by arranging a closed-door conversation. Impress upon them that they have absolutely no right to treat you like garbage, and hint that you'll take your skills and experie...

Sometimes it's hard to accept the fact that certain people whom we were once very close to know nothing about our lives anymore. I've noted the reasons why people can drift apart in other posts. Some of those include: A major life change (marriage, kids, etc.) Someone moves far away A job change that places major demands on the person  One person begins to hang out with a different crowd When both people experience such lifestyle changes simultaneously (e.g., both graduate from college at the same time), the changes don't feel nearly as drastic, and the adjustment process can is almost seemless. But when only one person changes course, the other is often left with a major void in his or her life. This happened to me a few years ago. My closest friend -- the best man at my wedding, in fact -- moved to a city 5 hours away from me. Though we see each other occasionally, our friendship hasn't been the same since. If I'm lucky, I'm able to get ...

The principal reason why we expect too much from others is because we are often willing to do the same -- if not more -- for them, but they just don't share our disposition. As often happens in relationships, one person is far more invested than the other. For example, one person in particular is always proposing outings, sending texts, liking Facebook posts, and offering to lend a hand whenever it's needed. The other isn't as actively engaged, sometimes vanishing for weeks (if not months) on end. Once the other person grows accustomed to this, he or she might simply check out, believing that everything is well under control. They just expect to be catered to. You can never assume that the other person -- whether it's your friend or partner -- will bring to the relationship the same level of energy and willingness to please that you do. They may claim to be busy with work, family, or other priorities. (As I stressed in a recent post, however, people will find th...

There are people in our lives who couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone and call or text us, no matter how many messages we've left for them. Chasing after them sends the message that, in spite of their cool detachment, you're going to continue pressing them for a response. Essentially, you're rewarding them for their unseemly behavior. Do they really deserve this special treatment? Absolutely not! If you've done your part to try to get in touch, the ball is in their court. Make it clear that you have your own priorities to worry about and that your world doesn't revolve around them. If taking a stand spells the end of that relationship, so be it. Your time will be much better spent on people who show an interest in you and make a conscious effort to maintain contact. Getting the cold shoulder from our partner, a friend, or a relative can be quite painful and perplexing, especially if it's someone we were once very close to. But just like t...

If it were up to most people, they would have it their way all the time. Why? It's simple: By and large, people want things to be as convenient for themselves as possible. They wish to expend as little time and effort on whatever (or whoever) brings them minimal to no gratification. Even some of my closest friends are guilty of this. They want to be the ones to decide the places you meet at, the time of the day you call one another, and the kinds of activities you partake in together. Intractable and inflexible, such people make awfully poor negotiators because they don't know the meaning of meeting in the middle. Unfortunately, these individuals fail to recognize that in order for relationships to thrive, both parties ought to be well-versed in the art of compromise. That's because relationships are about give and take, not just latter. If time and time again you find yourself acceding to someone else's demands yet fail to ever see them do the same, it should m...

Don't ever regret a relationship that has ended but at one point made you smile. Whether it's your boyfriend of three years with whom you didn't see a future or an old friend who stopped putting effort into seeing you, they made you feel happy along the way, so you shouldn't lament having them in your life. What's more, you likely learned a thing or two from that individual. Maybe it was how to swim, how to cook, or the best way to approach your boss about asking for a raise. Relationships sometimes end miserably, and there's nothing wrong with not wanting to see or hear from the person again. Still, you shouldn't regret the existence of that relationship, for it helped mold you into who you are today. Perhaps it made you realize the kinds of friends or partner you really yearn for in your life. Sometimes we go through a bad experience with one person, learn from our mistakes, and have a much better experience the next time around. That's pre...

The other day, I stumbled upon an article or post on Facebook about someone disgruntled over something her new boyfriend was doing. He wasn't cheating. He wasn't staying out late. He wasn't spending wastefully. He was simply calling her several times a day. Now, people have different thresholds for what they consider excessive calling. If you've just begun dating the person, calling more than twice a day may give off the impression that you're a tad clingy. But that all depends on the person. Some people get so "into" their partner that they might welcome a flurry of calls each day. That's why you have to gauge early on whether the other person would be receptive to more calls or turned off by them. As I indicated in my post yesterday, I know full well from experience that relationships in which one person is very clingy and the other typically standoffish don't work out too well in the long run. There has to be more if a balance....

Look in the mirror and you'll see the person ultimately responsible for your happiness -- yourself . It's a shame that so many people I talk to are quick to mention other people when asked what exerts the biggest influence on their happiness. Yes, some people bring us great joy -- our parents, spouse, children, closest friends -- but they should not bear the responsibility of making you happy all the time. Parents grow old, our spouses have their own issues to worry about, our children grow up eventually, and our friends can always drift away from us. No one has your best interests at heart more than yourself. No one confides in you more than yourself. No one experiences the highs and lows in your life like you do. Happiness shouldn't depend on how people treat you or what they think of you. In fact, in my view, you can't love others unless and until you love yourself first. We all want to feel loved and accepted by others. Great social relationships, in and...

I've written various posts on the topic of friendship in recent weeks, and with good reason. Friendships constitute an integral part of our lives, and, let's be honest -- it doesn't get any easier to make new friends or attend to the ones we already have as we get older and busier. Still, with a little time and effort, we can continue to forge new friendships while maintaining existing ones. Here are two ways to help facilitate this: 1. Zero in on commonalities, but express interest in other aspects of the person's life as well.  If you're like me, you share different interests with different friends. Maybe you have a health-conscious buddy with whom you dine and hit the gym, a fellow sports-loving friend who accompanies you to ballgames, and a friend from high school whom you occasionally visit at home to catch up. Whether it's a friend who haven't spoken to in a while or someone you've just met who seems to have "friendship" potenti...

Life is really what you make of it. You get out of life what you put in -- plain and simple. If you want to accomplish a goal, only you can propel yourself forward to make it happen. Sure, certain people might lend a helping hand along the way, but they can only do so much. You are the master of your destiny. No one says the path ahead is ever an easy one. In fact, overcoming onerous stumbling blocks is part and parcel of the journey. Whether you're looking to find a job that utilizes your God-given talents or a partner with whom you have great chemistry, your object of desire won't merely fall on your lap. It takes planning, hard work, sacrifice, and, sometimes, a little luck, to get what you want in life. We should remain receptive to opportunities that may come our way, yes, but that doesn't mean we should refrain from seeking them out. Thomas Jefferson once said, "I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have....

If you found yourself chasing after friends or love interests last year who didn't put as much time and effort into your relationship as you, don't let this habit carry over into the new year. End it now! There's no reason why you should pine for someone's attention or company when your own should be sufficient. Sure, we all like to be in a relationship and have at least a couple of friends we can call and meet up when we're bored or lonely. But here's a key piece of information I'd like you to embed firmly in your mind: Friends and partners enhance our lives, not complete them.  You should never feel that your life is incomplete without friends, a partner, children, and so on. After all, we came into this world alone, and will be leaving it in similar fashion. Studies find that the more people enjoy their own company, the happier they are with their lives and the higher their self-esteem and self-worth. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn...