Many of my readers have maintained that a key reason they're afraid to jump into a new relationship is because of the disastrous, toxic one they've only just escaped. Fair enough. And you deserve time to grieve the end of the relationship, for even though your life is sure to improve for the better, getting used to not having him or her in your life (especially if you'd been with them for many years) is an adjustment that doesn't happen overnight.  However, I do take issue with people, once ready to get back in the relationship saddle, turning down great opportunities, because, well, their ex John or Beth was a nightmare and this new potential partner may be just the same. Only by giving people a chance do you give yourself the opportunity to move on.  I understand feeling vulnerable and wanting to erect something of an emotional wall at first to protect your feelings.  But you can't allow the ghost of your ex to haunt you forever.  For all you know, this person wil...

Ever heard the song "Don't Stop Believin''' by Journey? It's the kind of song we ought to hear whenever we doubt ourselves, which, for some of us, happens all too often. But the fact of the matter is that we have no choice but to believe in ourselves -- because no one else is going to do it for us. A lack of self-confidence impairs our ability to land dates, get jobs, build relationships, and -- most important -- enjoy life. Doubting ourselves can lead to low self-esteem, which can in turn snowball into depression and other more serious health outcomes. Once it becomes apparent that many of the excuses you concoct for not succeeding are in your head, you come to realize that you've been holding yourself back for no reason at all. Maybe your parents or peers told you that you couldn't achieve something and brainwashed you against yourself. But how would they know what you're capable of if they're not you? A person can achieve anyt...