Do you get multiple requests from people daily, whether from coworkers or friends? Does it necessitate dropping what you're doing and tending to their needs? Do you find yourself unable to keep up with such demands? If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, read on for some important tips that may very well turn your life around for the better. How you probably got here   I can venture a guess as to what's keeping you locked in this vicious cycle: You find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to say NO.  Let's face it: The vast majority of us are kind-hearted folks with an inclination to help others. The problem is that the more we say YES, the more people will come to expect it. This, in turn, creates fertile ground for being taken advantage of.  So what exactly does being taken advantage of mean? Well, it signals that your wants, needs, and feelings are being entirely ignored in service of pleasing someone else. Your time doesn't matter. Any poten...

Here's one important tip to remember when navigating the vagaries of human relationships: You don't have to choose between being kind and drawing boundaries. Both can be done simultaneously. In other words, you can be courteous without permitting others to step over you. You can be firm without launching into an expletive-laced tirade. Unfortunately, some people struggle to walk this fine line. They can't help but vacillate between outright rage and saccharine kindness. You'venbecause a person likes you doesn't mean they respect you. And if you never stand up for yourself -- in a diplomatic manner, of course -- they'll just assume they can get away with everything and anything. This extends to all relationships in your life -- your marriage, your friendships, and your work relationships included. Now, standing up for yourself doesn't have to mean engaging someone in a fight, whether of the verbal or fist variety. In fact, merely walking aw...

How many people do you know who only appear when they're in some kind of a bind? Here are a few examples you can probably relate to: They broke up with their boyfriend, and now they're reaching out to you nearly every day. But while they were in their relationship, they acted as if you didn't matter. They had a falling out with a few friends, and now they've suddenly surfaced. However, when things were peachy with their buddies, you couldn't seem to get a hold of them. And how about those we only hear from when they need a favor? Whether it's that they need money or help moving, they seem to vanish off the face of the earth once they get what they need. What do the three scenarios above have in common? They describe users to a tee. If someone wants nothing to do with you when things are going well in their lives, that should make you question why they wish to maintain any kind of relationship. Perhaps they see you as convenient to have around bec...

What would you say is the best way to appreciate someone special in your life? It can be done with one simple mental exercise: Just imagine your life without that person. Maybe you picture them in the arms of another man or woman. Does it make you jealous or angry? Or you dream up a world in which the two of you never even met. Does it make you sad? If these scenarios induce feelings of jealousy, anger, or sadness, it's clear you care deeply for the person in question. If they don't, it raises serious questions about how invested you are emotionally. Between work, kids, chores, and other items on our interminably long To Do Lists, some of us may take our partner for granted without even realizing it. As a result, he or she may feel as if their needs aren't being met and their voice isn't being heard. The longer this goes on, the more likely the person is to become fed up and walk -- that is, unless both people have a serious heart-to-heart. Studies sho...

When you always try to please others, some of them come to expect it and may develop a knack for taking you for granted. Before you know it, one favor becomes two, or three. You're lending people money even though it may cause you some financial distress. You're giving others rides even though you have your own errands to run. We all like helping others because not only does it feel good, but many of those people have been there to get us out of jams as well. But there comes a point where we simply have to learn to say "no." We can't always put others' needs and wants before our own. We have to remember that we're entitled to happiness just as much as our family, friends, and colleagues are. We have our own set of problems and priorities to deal with. It is, after all, our lives. Being a good person means being there for others when they really need you. It doesn't mean being at their beck and call, especially when it concerns trivial matte...

Don't allow anyone -- from your closest friend to your worst enemy -- to step all over you. No matter the circumstance, you are as deserving of the other person's respect as they are of yours. If you're in a relationship with someone who thinks they can run roughshod over you because you've spoiled them rotten, it's time to establish new ground rules or get out of the relationship. Otherwise, you'll continue to be taken for granted. Similarly, if your friend seems to remember you exist only when they need something, make it clear to them that there is no such thing as a friendship built on selfishness. As with relationships, both people should reciprocate time and effort. If your toxic boss is convinced you'll put up with anything just to keep your job, prove him or her wrong by arranging a closed-door conversation. Impress upon them that they have absolutely no right to treat you like garbage, and hint that you'll take your skills and experie...

The principal reason why we expect too much from others is because we are often willing to do the same -- if not more -- for them, but they just don't share our disposition. As often happens in relationships, one person is far more invested than the other. For example, one person in particular is always proposing outings, sending texts, liking Facebook posts, and offering to lend a hand whenever it's needed. The other isn't as actively engaged, sometimes vanishing for weeks (if not months) on end. Once the other person grows accustomed to this, he or she might simply check out, believing that everything is well under control. They just expect to be catered to. You can never assume that the other person -- whether it's your friend or partner -- will bring to the relationship the same level of energy and willingness to please that you do. They may claim to be busy with work, family, or other priorities. (As I stressed in a recent post, however, people will find th...

You should never have to beg other people for anything -- whether it be their love, time, guidance, or affection. If it doesn't come from their heart, why should you have to force them to be more responsive to your needs? A good friend, partner, or relative is there for you with open arms when you need them. They don't have to be prodded repeatedly into lending a hand because they jump into action at a moment's notice. They don't make excuses for why they can't help you out. Instead, they go the extra mile for you, even if it's an inconvenience for them. Sure, there may be times where people might not be of much help because of special circumstances -- they're traveling, they're overwhelmed at work, they're at a special family function. But if this individual seems to run for the hills anytime you wish to see them or you need a favor, it raises serious questions: 1. What are they trying to get out of the friendship/relationship? 2. Ar...

In an ideal world, we'd all be paid handsomely to work in a company we love doing work about which we're fervently passionate, all while being surrounded by wonderful people. If this sounds like your situation, congratulations -- you're the envy of many a disgruntled working bee in Corporate America. Most of us, however, take issue with some aspect about our jobs. Though many of these aren't easy to pinpoint until you've been on the job for at least a month or two, think twice about remaining in or going to a company where: 1. There's no room to grow. Are you the ambitious type? If all that stands in the way of getting that coveted VP spot is, well, ten other people, you're better off looking elsewhere. Even if you're just waiting for your boss to retire, you may be left waiting for a while. 2. You have no voice. If your boss and other higher-ups discourage creative freedom, you might grow to resent the job very quickly. Companies that are so r...

While we can say that our closest friends are usually reliable, we should refrain from depending on them all the time. Unfortunately, even they can let us down every once in a while. I'm sure you have at least one who comes to you in times of need, but seemingly vanishes when he or she no longer needs you. Then, when you try arranging outings with the person or need a favor, they're always busy. It really grates on me when friends act this way. Truthfully, those you call true friends should not be so flaky. A friendship is a two-way street. When only one person shows interest, it makes the other person feels as though they're being taken for granted. I don't care how busy you are. When you value someone else's company, you find a way to make time for them, even if it's a quick lunch or jog around a nearby park. Some people are all about give and take. Little do they realize that in order for a friendship to remain strong, there has to be reciprocat...

There are certain times in life where, after much sweat and tears, it only makes sense to walk away from something, whether it be a troubling relationship, dead-end job, or other unfavorable circumstance. Though walking away can often be difficult, life is too short to endure circumstances so trying that it becomes difficult to get out of bed every day and face the world. If you're in an abusive relationship, walk away. No one deserves to suffer that way at the hands of a partner who's lost their way and doesn't show the slightest interest in mending fences. If you're in a relationship where you're being taken advantage of despite being heavily invested in it (emotionally and otherwise), walk away. You deserve better than to remain with a person who blithely takes you for granted. If one of your friendships, whether new or old, no longer adds value to your life, walk away. There's a season for every friendship in our life; once distance and other lifes...