Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962), the longest-serving First Lady in U.S. history, astutely advised people to do as follows: "Do what you feel in your heart to be right -- for you'll be criticized anyway." Essentially, she's saying that no matter what course of action you take, someone will take issue with it. So why not follow your heart and do what makes you happy? Roosevelt would be disheartened to learn that in 2018, over 5 decades after her death, people still get sucked into the "herd mentality" that drives them to seek others' validation. They believe and perpetuate the notion that true happiness lies with others rather than with and inside themselves. She'd quickly realize that social media has a lot to do with it, seeing as how people will post just about anything to amass as many likes and followers as they can. Whether you like football, abstain from drinking, are in a long-distance relationship, have only one child, enjoy travelin...

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Similarly, happiness means different things to different people. Joe's ideas of happiness may be earning 200K a year because it provides him the means to afford his big mansion and fancy cars -- even if it comes at the expense of having to work long 60 hour weeks. Ana's version of happiness may be far more modest. Give her a small apartment filled with books and pets and she's in bliss. Sam, for his part, might find happiness in moving to a different city every other year, while Betty might take delight in being a stay-at-home mom. Different strokes for different folks. Judging others for their likes and lifestyles is no less inappropriate than passing judgment on, say, their physical appearance. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, yes, but that doesn't grant them the latitude to criticize others' choices just because they don't align with theirs. I may aspire to become a manager, but you mi...

Want to please everyone around you? Don't even bother. It's a fact of that life that people always find something to criticize you about, whether it's your new car ("it's so small"), the decorations used at your wedding reception ("they're so tacky"), or your profession ("she could have gone into something more lucrative"). Needless to say, someone will always take issue with something you do or don't do. Should you care? Absolutely not! As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. Be confident in your choices and do whatever gratifies you. It is, after all, your life and not theirs. I'm of the belief that people who have a knack for putting others' choices down are probably dissatisfied with their own. Perhaps feelings of envy are bubbling below the surface, and they try to make themselves feel better by undermining the other person's successes. Thus, misery loves company. It's a shame tha...

The word of the day is one of my favorites, as I often use it to describe my hard-to-please boss: persnickety. The dictionary defines it as "overparticular about trivial details; fastidious. In other words, someone who's persnickety is fussy, choosy, particular, picky, finicky...you get the point. One thing is to be particular, but people like my supervisor seem to deliberately look for any excuse not to proceed with something -- signing off on a project, choosing a dress for a party, etc. It's these kind of people that take forever to make a decision. Just when they seem to have made up their mind, they find something new to criticize. If not given a deadline, they can spend weeks -- if not months -- nitpicking at the most minute things. While to one observer this may reflect a discerning eye, to another it may signal a chronic inability to make a decision. Had you ever used or heard the word before? Have you ever met someone persnickety?

It's so easy for some people to criticize others while neglecting to look in the mirror and acknowledge their own faults. Those who criticize everyone but themselves fall into one of these two camps: 1. They love to highlight what they perceive as other people's flaws and shortcomings as a way of hiding their own. 2. They lack self-esteem and do this in order to feel better about themselves. Some of my coworkers, who are otherwise nice and caring people, have a penchant for talking smack about people's clothes, work habits, and overall lifestyle. When this happens, I just nod along and proceed to change the subject. I refuse to be dragged into the chorus of backstabbing, always keeping in mind that they could use my remarks against me at any point. People should keep their unflattering comments about others to themselves -- plain and simple. What do they gain by disparaging people whom they may know little about? At the end of the day, we don't really kn...

It isn't being a good cook or a hardcore sports fan, though those things definitely help. A secret to winning a man's heart is to be supportive of his decisions, whether they involve his health, appearance, education, or career. Among the many things a man seeks in a woman is encouragement . He wants a partner who will encourage him to follow his dreams, no matter how outlandish they may seem at first. Even if you find his plan to leave the medical field and become a professor preposterous, for example, don't lambast him for it. Hear him out and see what he has to say. His reasons for wanting to make the switch may be totally valid. Every man desires a woman he can confide in -- someone who inspires him to reach for the stars, not shoots down his every aspiration. If you take exception to all or most of his plans, you can rest assured he'll come to one conclusion: you are not the person he sees himself having a future with. In the end, men want someone who bel...