You will never be good enough for everyone, but here's good news: You'll always be good enough for those people who deserve you. It's a certainty that you will come across people who have something to complain about. You're too quiet or too loud, too clean or too messy, too skinny or too fat, too lazy or too ambitious. It's nearly impossible to meet some individuals' exacting standards. But who says we have to meet such standards to begin with? The right people -- those who accept you for who you are -- will never press you to change. They'll appreciate you whether or not you drink, whether you gravitate toward books or sports, or whether you're bold or docile. (Of course, if you're engaging in dangerous behaviors -- like abusing alcohol or drugs -- they have every reason to goad you to change in that regard.) The right people will acknowledge whatever it is that makes you unique -- whether it's your passion for learning, quirky sen...

If there's one thing I've learned in my observations of people, it's that many of them put looking good before being genuine, which is a huge mistake. They try to say the right things to win others' approval. They never admit they're wrong. Some even go so far as to change something about themselves just to appease a friend, love interest, or relative. In other words, preserving their image trumps qualities like sincerity and integrity. They try to live the kind of life society expects them to have, even though deep down it isn't the one they desire. They're lying to others -- and themselves. Moreover, they're willing to fake anything and everything about themselves just to appear more driven, more successful, more likable, or whatever it is they're aiming for. At the end of the day, none of us are perfect. We become wiser people through our experiences, which often include making mistakes we learn from and, hopefully, never repeat. If on...

According to a new study in the Journal of Consumer Research , even subtle reminders of idealized bodies can encourage overweight consumers to overspend. Studies show that exposure to body cues (i.e., shapes) can have unintended consequences on seemingly unrelated behavior, such as spending. Seeing a thin -- as opposed to wide -- human-like shape prompts high-body-mass-index consumers to make more indulgent spending decisions. The authors found that mere reminders of the thin-body ideal can cause overweight consumers to feel worse about their own abilities, including management of their spending impulses. In one study where consumers were shown an object with a thin, human-like shape (e.g., something that resembles a Coca-Coca bottle), high-BMI consumers were more likely to buy a higher-priced, Fiji-brand bottle of water than a lower-priced, generic-brand bottle. Another study on shopping found that high-BMI consumers were more willing to take on credit card debt after seeing a...

Society leads us to believe that thrusting oneself into social settings is the antidote to loneliness. Yet, many people would agree that one can feel lonelier around a big group of people than when the person is by themselves. For starters, just because a person is alone doesn't mean they're lonely. There are actually people out there, myself included, who enjoy and thrive on time spent alone -- to relax, contemplate, clear their mind. Finding yourself amidst large groups of people whom you don't know can be more isolating than being by your lonesome. Sure, you can always try to strike up a conversation with someone, but it can come off as awkward and doesn't always lead to the desired result. This is especially true when everyone around you already is engaged in conversation with someone else. I feel much more at ease interacting with people when small groups of 2 to 3 people are involved. You don't have people talking and shouting over another. You d...

Let's face it. Human beings are social, emotional creatures. When it comes to job interviews, a candidate's qualifications and experience matter a great deal. However, in order to outshine other equally qualified -- or better qualified -- candidates, you have to bring something more to the table. Yes, knowing someone who knows someone else can improve your odds. But chances are you will eventually apply for a job at a company at which none of your friends, acquaintances, or friends of friends work. Luckily, though, you can still land a job without networking. Here's my secret to increasing your chances of getting the job exponentially: Connect with the interviewer on a personal level . Let's say my interviewer's name is Stacy. At some point in the interview (usually toward the end), I might tell her that I had a very close friend in college with the same name. Or, I might see a sticker on her filing cabinet that says "Born in New York" and sa...

Want me to write about a topic of interest to you? Let me know in the comments section! I'd be happy to discuss this with you in private, if you so desire. Keep in mind that How to Understand People specializes in psychology-based content, with these being the areas most frequently touched upon: Relationship psychology  Consumer psychology Personality psychology  Social psychology  I can always make an exception if it's a topic near and dear to your heart.  Don't be shy; send me a message and let me know what's on your mind! I'd love to see what great ideas you can bring to the table! Cheers, Jeff  Blog Writer and Administrator 

In recent weeks, I've written several posts encouraging readers to take pride in their true selves and not change their personality, quirks, values, or beliefs simply to appease others. And with that I segue into this important question: If you had to choose one quality you'd like to be known for, what would it be? Here are a few examples: Being kind Being sweet Being smart Being hard-working Being genuine Being humble Being sociable Being honest Being loyal While I wouldn't mind being recognized for my hard-working nature or humility, I think intelligence takes the cake. I am far from the most gregarious person at work -- I won't win any awards for my people skills anytime soon -- but people regard me as intelligent, and to me, it's the ultimate compliment. I was always a fantastic student -- getting everything from history trophies and reading certificates to writing medals. I graduated from college summa cum laude. Though I'm not i...

Our lifestyles are a direct reflection of various factors, including our personalities, jobs, and responsibilities at home. Parents' lives are presumably much busier and more stressful than those of the child-free. Teachers will lead much different lives than doctors, cops face a much different set of pressures than, say, couriers and chefs.  Some of us have more active social lives than our peers. While I have only three really close friends in my life, some people would need more than two hands to count all their buddies.  There are those who embrace a busy, strenuous life, and then there are people like me who prefer a more relaxed, deliberate pace. Neither is necessarily better than the other. We are each wired differently and derive stimulation from disparate sources -- the more introverted among us from reading, writing and other solitary activities, and the rest from social engagements like parties. Some of us go to church, others to sports games.  So...

If you feel unfulfilled at work and reason that your lack of friendships in the workplace is the culprit, think again. Mixing business and pleasure is ill-advised. It's appalling how many of my coworkers open up about their personal lives to other people in the department. For example, a young woman who sits in the cubicle next to me recently broke up with her boyfriend and has made it a habit of hers to spill her guts about the breakup every day. I understand human beings have an inherent need to bond with and seek consolation from those in their immediate environment, but that's what parents, spouses, siblings, and friends outside of work are for. Relating details of your personal life to coworkers has the potential to blow up in your face. You never know who you can really trust out there, especially when dealing with people in the workplace whom you may not know all that well. Perhaps you feel comfortable enough to do this with coworkers whom you've been worki...

For those of us who have full-time jobs, we spend 40 or more hours per week around co-workers. That doesn't include the amount of time spent around babysitters, mailmen, cashiers, waiters, bus drivers, and anyone else we come into contact with on a weekly basis. While some of the individuals we interact with are certainly friendly, good people, there are others who flat-out drive us up the wall. As I've mentioned previously on the blog, I'm an introvert. No, that doesn't mean I'm shy. It means that I become drained when around people for too long. I need ample time alone in order to recharge. That's why I often eat lunch by myself and make it a priority to "disconnect" from co-workers by taking a couple of short breaks each day. I can only take so much chit chat on a daily basis. Oftentimes, I come home drained and crave nothing more than to unwind in my room -- in complete silence. Am I a complete recluse or misanthrope? Absolutely not. I unders...