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You shouldn't make "friends" at work. Here's why...

If you feel unfulfilled at work and reason that your lack of friendships in the workplace is the culprit, think again.

Mixing business and pleasure is ill-advised.

It's appalling how many of my coworkers open up about their personal lives to other people in the department. For example, a young woman who sits in the cubicle next to me recently broke up with her boyfriend and has made it a habit of hers to spill her guts about the breakup every day.

I understand human beings have an inherent need to bond with and seek consolation from those in their immediate environment, but that's what parents, spouses, siblings, and friends outside of work are for.

Relating details of your personal life to coworkers has the potential to blow up in your face. You never know who you can really trust out there, especially when dealing with people in the workplace whom you may not know all that well.

Perhaps you feel comfortable enough to do this with coworkers whom you've been working for 5, 10, 15 years even.

While I have nothing against going to happy hour with colleagues every once in a while, I remain guarded with these people for a reason. What happens if a disagreement leads to discord in the office? It suddenly becomes all too tempting for that person to divulge details of your personal life to others, possibly twisting some of the facts in the process. Unbeknownst to you, the entire office might know about your breakup or whatever issue you talked to your friend about in strict confidence.

I never disclose anything personal regarding my sex life, family, or health to my coworkers, but it seems others don't subscribe to this policy. I try to keep conversations focused on anything but me -- whether it's about sports, news, politics, or the weather.

Since joining the workforce, I've sought to maintain a professional, friendly demeanor in the office. I greet everyone with a smile in the morning and try to maintain an upbeat attitude.

I realize that not being a little more forthcoming about my personal life doesn't exactly score me a lot of points on the sociability meter, but I don't care. I'm not at work to make friends; I'm there to make money so that I can put food on the table for my wife and future children, if I end up with any.

After all, it's become the norm for people to bounce from one job to another. Is it really worth it to share such information with someone who might leave for another company any day?

Do you like making "friends" at work, or do you aim to keep things on a professional level?

Comments

Unknown said…
bad idea to attempt to make friends at work=BE PROFESSIONAL or there's a chance you'll get burned. unless you are shallow and like others talking about you and your private business.
Couldn't agree more, Angela! Thanks for commenting :)
Anonymous said…
I always strive to keep my business and personal life separate. (Thanks to a tip from the SCRUBS television series).

Until this year, the business run itself like a cult, treats its operations like a religion, holds frequent meetings and feel-good campaigns. Constantly encouraging you to open-up and be happy and blah-blah.

That being said, there's a lot of office gossip. I've made a few friends too closed and been burned. I've made a few friends who I love and will keep as friends. All in all, I want out more than anything. I can't stand the idea of mixing business and personal, everyone up in your shit and way too many people know too much about each other. It's aggravating to say the least.

It really gets in the way company-wide of being able to just get business done. You try to - but now there's this forced small chit chat in between every internal transaction. It's so twisted. Good article.
Sabrinna said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sabrinna said…
Partially agree and partially disagree. I think it's important to foster an environment of humanity. We are people with jobs, not workers with private lives. There's definitely a line to draw on how much we share. Don't share anything confidential. However, the fact you volunteer your time at the lical homeless shelter, or that you have an ailing friend in hospice care, or you play cricket once a week with the same group from your old high school is a point of interest about you. It's a part of your humanity and lets colleagues relate to you. So, I say, yes, be friendly but no, don't use workmates as confidantes or centre your social life around them.
Thanks for your reply, Sabrinna. I agree you can share your interests so long as you don't divulge any personal information.

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