"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." - Dolly Parton What Dolly is essentially saying is that nothing in life worth having comes easily.  You have to work for it, and that often includes having to put up with others' BS for a while. For example, you've had it up to here with your boss's toxic ways and have set a goal of bolting to another employer before year's end. However, to realize this plan, you'll have to continue enduring his nasty tantrums -- if you haven't already called him out on such behavior -- until you find a new job, as the food has to be put on the table and the rent isn't going to pay itself.  Or perhaps you're reeling from the fallout of a terrible breakup. Life may seem bleak today -- especially after having to pull the plug on a relationship you once envisioned lasting your whole life.  But rest assured that the day you find yourself with someone far better th...

If you lose someone, but find yourself in the process, guess what? You've won. Maybe it's an ex who walked away because they found you too unexciting or conventional for them. Perhaps it's a friend who stopped responding to your messages once they realized they couldn't control you or get you to validate their every decision. You've likely been in this boat at some point or another. At first, seeing the relationship go down the tubes hits us hard, and we may be apt to blame ourselves. But gradually, we come to realize that it didn't work out for a reason, and rather than inducing sadness in us, that fact brings us a great sense of comfort and relief. It reinforces something that we knew all along, but perhaps never contemplated too deeply: If we try to think or behave like others just to gain their approval, we are essentially selling ourselves out, handing them our self-identity in a bag. Sadly, I've spoken to people who will suppress what m...

Being happy does not mean everything in your life is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections and haven't looked back. Let's face it: There is no such thing as the perfect life. Between stress at work, mounting bills, obnoxious people, pesky health issues, financial pressures, and other challenges we face, our lives are never entirely carefree. However, those who adopt a half-glass-full approach can view this as a positive. Think about it. What would life really be like if we had no obstacles to overcome? How would we achieve growth? In what other ways could we acquire wisdom? If we didn't have rough times in our lives, we'd be less likely to appreciate the tranquil, trouble-free periods. If we had no problems to resolve, we wouldn't know how gratifying it can be to resolve them , especially when it results in people becoming closer. Sure, no one wishes for, say, health or money woes. But many would agree that only by...

Whenever we fall into a rut, we may be tempted to "escape" to the past -- a time, our minds tell us, that was surely better than the present. But don't give in or you might sink into a depression! Reminiscing every so often is healthy. We've all taken part in wonderful experiences we can -- and should -- look back on fondly. And if we're lucky, we captured such unforgettable moments in pictures and videos, which certainly heighten the nostalgia. But attempting to run away from the problems we face today by living in the past certainly doesn't solve them; in fact, it can exacerbate them. So why do people seek refuge in the past anyway? Because the past is safe.  We already know what happens. Whatever issues we grappled with then have already been resolved -- as opposed to now, where we don't know exactly what will happen in the future. The mind has a way of tricking us into thinking that things were a lot better in the old days than they are n...

Never allow anyone to invalidate or minimize how you feel. If you feel something, those feelings are real to you and ought to be respected. No one else can know exactly how you feel because no other person has been in your very shoes! No one else lives in your body. No one else sees life through your eyes. No one has the same interests, fears, quirks, and goals. No one shares your personality. No one has lived through the same experiences you have. That's why no one has the power to dictate or judge what you feel. Your feelings matter; never should they be dismissed or mocked. You deserve to be heard because your feelings are inherently valid. Don't allow anyone to make you believe otherwise! People are entitled to their own opinions, but not to their own facts. Though they may offer well-intentioned advice, they don't get to decide whether your feelings are justified in a given situation -- no matter how much life experience/wisdom they may claim to have. No tw...

If you're like many jaded people out there in the dating world, you've just about had it in your quest to find true love. You've lost track of the seemingly innumerable men or women you've gone on fruitless dates with. A prospect seems promising enough in the beginning, but it all comes crashing down following an unsettling discovery -- she's been cheating on you all along, he isn't the thoughtful romantic that drew you in during the courtship and instead just wants to get in your pants, she's an unapologetic gold digger. You've grown tired of it all: the lies, the false appearances, the heartache, endless disappointment. As tempting as it may be to throw in the towel, you'll never find that special someone -- however elusive -- if you give up. Instead, take some time to assess your love life and answer the following questions: What do you feel you've done right?  What do you think you've done wrong?  In which areas is there room...

Whether you're striving to fulfill a long-held dream or resolve a vexing problem, I'm here to tell you one thing: you can do it. There's really no way around it. You have no choice but to believe you're capable of doing it; otherwise, you won't get very far. Yankees great Yogi Berra once quipped, "It ain't over till it's over." What that means is that until you've thrown in the proverbial towel -- until you've given up -- you have a fighting chance at success. Instead of sitting around and serving up excuses for why you can't do something, try a different approach. With every unsuccessful attempt we gain more wisdom and experience, making us a bit more likely to triumph next time. Positive thinking attracts positive outcomes. However, success doesn't come without hard work, persistence, and sacrifice. It usually requires a serious investment of some resource -- whether time or money -- that we may not always be inclined to...

What sets a positive thinker -- an optimist -- apart from regular people is that he or she sees an opportunity in every difficult situation . For instances, a person who has just lost his job may try to capitalize on the downtime by boning up on his computer skills or trying to get his own business off the ground. A student who's just failed an exam may sign up for after-school tutoring, forging strong relationships with her teacher and fellow peers that may last beyond grade school. A troublesome car that's always breaking down may prompt someone to finally start saving up for a newer, more reliable vehicle. A person who's afraid of flying is tasked with meeting with the vice president in another country. While terrifying, it affords him the opportunity to finally conquer his fear, making future flights a lot easier to swallow. What's the common thread across all these examples? That a good situation can come out of a bad one so long as a person doesn't...

It's interesting how much life really changes as we get older. When we're young -- say, in our late teens and early 20s -- we have ample time for ourselves, but not much money to make the most of that time. Once we hit our 30s -- the time when we typically settle down to start a family and are more established in our careers -- we find ourselves on more solid footing financially, but with much less time available than we had in our post-high school years. It isn't until the kids move out for college that we transition back to a life where we can focus more on ourselves and our interests, but by then, those interests tend to be radically different than the ones we enjoyed when we were younger. It's no surprise more and more couples are waiting longer to have kids -- or are opting not to have them at all.  Perfectly content with their sans-kids lifestyle, such couples are in no hurry to go from a life of unfettered freedom to baby bottles and Dora the Explorer. ...