We've all heard sayings like "patience is a virtue," "good things come to those who wait," and "everything happens at the right time." But are these valid assertions, or just tired platitudes? The fact of the matter is this: Life is a balancing act between striking the right level of patience and working toward one's goals . There's no question that you shouldn't force what you know in your heart isn't for you. For example, if your gut tells you that the position you interviewed for isn't right -- and you can afford to hold off a little longer -- don't accept it if an offer is extended. Or let's pretend you've been single for two years and would do just about anything to hook up with someone. Unfortunately, desperation can drive people to settle for someone who they know deep down is a poor fit. Needless to say, patience can pay huge dividends. You may second guess your decision initially, only to have a mu...

The principal reason why we expect too much from others is because we are often willing to do the same -- if not more -- for them, but they just don't share our disposition. As often happens in relationships, one person is far more invested than the other. For example, one person in particular is always proposing outings, sending texts, liking Facebook posts, and offering to lend a hand whenever it's needed. The other isn't as actively engaged, sometimes vanishing for weeks (if not months) on end. Once the other person grows accustomed to this, he or she might simply check out, believing that everything is well under control. They just expect to be catered to. You can never assume that the other person -- whether it's your friend or partner -- will bring to the relationship the same level of energy and willingness to please that you do. They may claim to be busy with work, family, or other priorities. (As I stressed in a recent post, however, people will find th...

People often ask me if it's better to be an early bird or a procrastinator. An early bird aims to do things well in advance -- whether it's pay bills before they're due, book flights, complete a project weeks before the deadline, and so forth. A procrastinator , on the other hand, habitually leaves everything for the last minute. Many might say the answer is obvious -- that being an early bird is more favorable in that you get things done early.  My answer to them is that either extreme is bad. All the way through high school, I was the king of procrastination, sometimes waiting until the day before a paper was due to write it. Once I got to college, I did a 180 degree turn and aimed to finish projects days, if not weeks, ahead of time. This seeped into my personal life as well; for example, it became the norm to pay bills the very day I received them in the mail. The problem with being too much of an early bird -- much like being a procrastinator -- is that it t...

Are you the type of person who:  feels uneasy at not knowing exactly what's expected of you when starting a new job?  has to have things planned weeks in advance?  generally shirks spontaneity?  likes to eat the same foods every day?  likes doing the same things at the same time every day?  likes taking the same route to and from work every day?  generally avoids unfamiliar situations? If this sounds like you, you have a high level of uncertainty intolerance (also called ambiguity intolerance) . If, however, you prefer to live a bit more on the edge and can't help but change things up every so often -- whether it's your wardrobe, job, or partner, you likely have a low level of uncertainty intolerance. Those who avoid ambiguity generally prefer a structured, cut-and-dried lifestyle, while people who embrace it tend to like taking risks and thrive in fluid situations.  I think most of us find ourselves somewhere in the middle, th...

Albert Einstein (1879-1955), arguably the most influential scientist ever to have lived, once said: "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." I agree with this quote 100 percent. No matter what goals we may work toward, life throws curveballs our way that can quickly stop us in our tracks. Whether we're aiming to find a partner, land a new job, or lose weight, we can become easily discouraged and give up. As I have noted in earlier posts, life isn't so much what happens to us as what we do with what happens to us. In other words, if we fail in our first few attempts, do we have reason to lose hope and just accept that we can't do it? Absolutely not! If a person wants something enough -- if he truly puts his heart and soul into it -- sooner or later, he will catch a break. This brings me two famous quotes from the 3rd President of the United States, Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826): "Why is it that the harder I try,...

This answer will differ depending on who you ask. People have varying sex drives that are affected by everything from one's energy and stress levels to other responsibilities in our lives, including work, chores, and children. We've all heard stories where one person in the relationship wants sex much more frequently than the other, causing an imbalance that eventually incites feelings of resentment in the former. How often a couple has sex depends largely on where it is put on their priority list. I think those who make a concerted effort to have sex, say, once or twice a week, can carve out a few minutes weekly to do so. But sometimes life gets in the way of even the most carefully laid-out plans, and couples have no choice but to leave it for another day. I think sex isn't the most important facet of a marriage or relationship. After all, as we get older, our relationship or marriage becomes less about passionate sex and more about companionship. Still, sex mat...

As much as I hate to admit it, I normally see the glass as half empty. The same occurs when I notice that my cell phone battery is at 50%. My first impulse is to reach for the water pitcher or charger. I'm usually one to harp on the negative rather than dwell on the positive. I realize it's something I have to work on a bit. However, my sometimes-pessimistic-nature helps me be a lot more perceptive than most people around me. By thinking of the worst possible scenario -- and taking proactive steps to avoid it -- I've kept myself out of trouble. My friends sometimes chide me for being a creature of habit -- one who seldom leaves the comfortable confines of his comfort zone. But I've come to accept and like this about myself. Not everyone is meant to be a spontaneous, happy-go-lucky wanderer. I think people who remain grounded and weigh their options carefully can live a happier life. They're less likely to make hasty, regrettable decisions. My friends know I...