Thanks to the pandemic, introversion -- at least for the time being -- is the new normal, or, at the very least, is far more socially acceptable than it was just a few months ago. Who knows? It may very well become the new cool going forward in a society that ordinarily frowns upon those who value solitude and time for quiet reflection. It feels as though introverts have been waiting and prepared for an event like this their whole lives. Although I've touched upon introversion in earlier posts, here's a quick recap of what it really means to be an introvert: You draw energy inward. You're not necessarily shy or antisocial -- you simply need alone time for recharging.  You prefer small groups to large ones. You value one-on-one conversations because fewer participants means not having to vie with several others to get a word in edgewise.  You prefer communicating in writing rather than verbally because it affords you the opportunity to think through yo...

Many assume that if someone is alone, time must sit still -- that within a matter of minutes, he or she is probably bored out of his mind and itching to do something to make the clock move a little faster. Well, while this may be true for some, it certainly doesn't apply to those who actually relish their time alone. Why? Because if the person is alone, there's a high probability they're introverted and enjoy their own company. If that's so, there's no reason to think they'd want time to fly. Being introverted doesn't mean you're shy, antisocial, or snobbish. It means you draw energy inward. Peace, quiet, and solitude recharge you. You enjoy being deep in thought. Heavy social interaction leaves you exhausted. In reality, introverts have such rich imaginations that they can momentarily escape reality and live comfortably in their heads when the urge strikes. From debating the merits of climate change to picturing what life was like in the...

I've had a few of my readers tell me that they've hit a rough patch of late, so I thought it apropos to write an uplifting post this morning to get everyone's weekend off to a magnificent start. There's no question that life is hard and often unfair. Bad things happen to good people all the time. We're confronted with tough situations we never saw coming, and sometimes such challenges seem insurmountable. But I'm here to tell you that every storm passes. As long as you stay strong and keep hope alive, you will get through it. The only thing in life that has no remedy is death. If the problems you're facing are not life-and-death, you can -- you will -- overcome them. Whether you recently got out of a bad relationship, unexpectedly lost your job, or are not on speaking terms with a longtime friend, one day you'll look back on it all and say, "I didn't see it back then, but things really did turn out for the best." Human beings have...

I actually experienced this firsthand in the 5th grade. The apple of my eye -- the girl whom I'd pined over since meeting her three years earlier -- was ensnared by, of all people, my best friend. If that's not the ultimate form of betrayal, I don't know what is. I was partly to blame in that I was so shy to make a move that the girl likely ran out of patience. She tried dropping hints as often as she could: staring at me in class, asking me whether I had a date for the dance, giving me cutesy cards on Valentine's Day. She even told me one day that I was #2 on her list of guys she liked the most. When #1 transferred to another school in the 3rd grade, I was suddenly well positioned to win her heart. Unfortunately, however, I never had the guts to ask her to be my girlfriend. Still, she could have hooked up with anyone who wasn't my friend, let alone my closest buddy. I don't know if it was payback for giving her false hope, or whether she did it in hope...

Just last Friday, my boss and I sat down for my annual review. She had great things to say, including the fact that she has seen me "grow immensely" in the last year or two. Mind you, I've been with the company for close to five years. It isn't as if she went by hard data or any accomplishment lists to arrive at such a conclusion, for I provided none. I don't work any harder than I did a couple of years ago. So why is she so certain that I've demonstrated growth on the job? I think perception  -- the state of becoming aware of something through the senses -- is at play here. What is perceived as real can be more powerful than reality itself . The lenses through which we each see the world are dissimilar. I may perceive you to be a shy, rude, or arrogant person, but perhaps your neighbor views you as warm and happy-go-lucky. You may be phoning it at your job or in your relationship, but as long as your boss or partner "thinks" you're put...

Do you picture loners as being antisocial, self-absorbed, and in a world of their own? New research from Wellesley College dispels that common stereotype and suggests loners can actually be loyal friends and quite amicable when you get to know them. What happens is that people tend to misconstrue their reticent ways for snobbiness, rudeness, or lack of social skills. While some of these people might very well be shy or self-centered not all loners should be characterized as such. Studies show that loners tend to have a much lower need for social acceptance than their more gregarious counterparts. They're perfectly content staying in with a good book than spending the night out on the town -- and they don't apologize for it. Loners still like to make friends, but they tend to maintain only a couple of close friendships. If they could have a universal motto, it would be "depth, not breadth." Thus, they have relatively high standards for friendship, but once th...

We've all been there at some point -- whether at home, school, or in the house of someone we just met. We become shy. We clam up. We have nothing to say. It leads others to assume we're shy, antisocial, even self-absorbed. As I've mentioned in other posts, sometimes it takes a real, concerted effort to get myself to talk to people. I try to avoid chit chat at all costs. Whether it's because I am tired or just not in the mood to gab, shutting myself from the world is all too tempting. Completely isolating yourself from everyone, though, is not feasible, especially when you work in Corporate America. Good communication skills are a requirement for most every job that calls for interacting with employees and/or clients. But this isn't exclusive to the work world. There are also the family get-togethers and other occasions that can drive the shy and introverted batty. I've come up with a technique that can help me better tolerate these situations. You kn...

A recent study finds that people -- teenagers in particular -- prefer forging and keeping friendships online to doing so in an offline setting. If this doesn't signal that we're living in an almost-purely digital age, I don't know what does. It won't be long before "old school" forms of communication -- writing letters, making phone calls even -- become entirely obsolete. But does this indicate that we, as a society, are becoming more introverted? I don't think so. What it means is that as technology continues to become more advanced, we only become lazier. People want things yesterday. As we become busier, we rely more on technology to get things done as quickly as possible. Buy groceries through Amazon.com and have them delivered to us? Check. Watch movies at home via Netflix without having to set foot in the theater? Check. Set up doctor's appointments online? Done. When it comes to friendships, the internet offers the opportunity to...

When I compare what my personality was like growing up to what it is today, not much has changed. And that should come as no surprise. A study I read about recently concluded that our personalities don't change much after the 1st grade. Think about it: Once we hit the 1st grade -- that's around 7 years of age -- our personalities remain mostly fixed the rest of our lives. That means that if you were predisposed to being shy, quiet, angry, or aggressive then, there's a good chance you are the same way now. Even so, as we get older, our experiences help shape us into the person we are today, so I think it's a combination of genetics as well as our environment. Experiences not only make us wiser, but they help guide our future behavior. For example, taking karate in middle school may have made you bolder, being involved in a car accident while in high school may have made you more appreciative of life, and so on. The people we hang out with may also influence what ...