When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

Many people wish they had better things to say about their love life. Unfortunately, it's been marred by everything from cheating exes to dates who misrepresented themselves online. You would think that they've simply been unlucky -- that is, until these telling words come out of their mouths: "I've just had just a hard time finding the perfect person." See, therein lies the problem. It's not really about being plagued by misfortune. It's the fact that the person is after something that doesn't exist in relationships: perfection. If a person intends to wait until they find that "perfect" man or woman, then they'll be waiting until they die. That means they're willing to subject themselves to a life of unmet expectations and disappointments -- all in the vain hope that a flawless partner will eventually surface. In a real relationship, two imperfect people accept one another for who they are -- aggravating flaws and o...

Never should we allow others to undervalue us -- nor should we let ourselves do it. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that is completely accurate -- the sole assessment that really matters -- is your own. Self-worth, or self-esteem, results from our striving to treat ourselves with the love, care, compassion, and respect we deserve. Your self-worth can only be determined by you because it comes from within. The higher your self-esteem, the happier you are. And as I've stressed in my other posts, happiness emanates from inside of us. It's obvious that not everyone we come across in our lives -- from partners and friends to bosses -- will realize our worth. Still, that should never decrease our value in our own eyes. In relationships in which we don't feel valued, we have the option to address our feelings with the other person. If that doesn't bear fruit, we must decide whether the individual deserves a place in our lives. Now, this do...

We should all prioritize being around that rare breed of people who do one specific thing: bring out the best in us . We know we're in good company when we feel comfortable, relaxed, intelligent, self-confident and, most importantly, happy. That's why we should strive to be around those who elicit these favorable qualities in us. That doesn't mean these individuals can't provide constructive criticism. Sometimes we need those we care about to give it to us straight when we neglect to notice or confront our shortcomings ourselves. But there's a marked difference between offering constructive feedback for your own good that comes from the heart and putting someone down to feel better about themselves. The latter group is the type we should distance ourselves from. Sometimes, though, we go through tough moments where the only one there for us is ourselves. It's during these difficult times that we must count on ourselves for pep talks; we become our own b...