Whether it's that they're having a bad day, are mad at you because you made an innocent mistake, or they're just a difficult person by nature, no one has the right to put you down. If their meltdown is followed by an apology you deem to be sincere, life moves on. But if you find that these outbursts occur quite frequently, or if the person has a knack for pinning the blame on you when something goes wrong, it's important you stand up for yourself.  Otherwise, they'll think they have permission to treat you with disrespect.  Standing up for oneself doesn't mean you have to disparage the individual, firing off expletives, throwing things at them, and essentially stooping to his or level.  You can be firm and civil at the same time. In fact, you would merely be admonishing on their petty behavior: They should watch their language and tone it down, or there will he consequences. Such consequences may include reporting them to human resource...

As the world becomes more and more technologically advanced, it seems many people have only become lazier. A self-admitted history nerd, I always wonder what people did in, say, the 1800s for leisure and entertainment. It seems they made a pastime of reading books and writing letters to each other, among other activities. In this age of social media, texting, and email, how many people nowadays still write letters to each other by hand? Whereas I am a voracious reader, most of my friends wouldn't be caught dead with a book in hand. Instead, they seem to be glued to their trusty TVs, Netflix and Amazon Prime being all the rage these days. Writing letters and reading books are, in most people's minds, the kinds of activities you have to seek out and feel inspired to do -- which at the end of the day can use up more of their mental resources (or so they feel). On the other hand, TV programming comes at you -- you need not do much other than grab the remote control and su...

There's a raging debate as to whether men and women can have platonic relationships. Some people respond with an adamant no, claiming that members of the opposite sex use "friendship" to mask hidden feelings of attraction toward one another. Others vehemently assert that, yes, men and women can in fact maintain a friendly bond without there being any romantic strings attached. I'm in the latter camp, and here's why: I am friends with a wide range of women whom I hold absolutely no romantic feelings for. Though looks certainly aren't everything, physical attraction plays a role in the early stages of courtship. Many of these female friends have radiant personalities that many men would indeed be drawn to; however, they're just not my type physically. Or, it could be the other way around. I may find her physically attractive, but we're simply too far apart when it comes to hobbies, priorities, or overall lifestyles. I think it's simply ab...

As I have alluded to in other posts, happiness is largely a matter of perspective. If you focus only on all the things you don't have or want to have, you might very well be miserable. If, rather than comparing your lifestyle to that of millionaires driving Ferraris and sporting expensive jewelry, you use the less fortunate as a basis for comparison, you'll feel more grateful for the things you do have and suddenly feel happier about your lot in life. One mistake people make is relying solely on external sources to be happy--whether it be their jobs, friends, or material possessions. I'm not saying we can't derive any happiness from these -- we all do to some degree. But in reality, happiness has to come from within. Happiness is by and large subjective. Your idea of happiness might be to go and get wasted every weekend, never get married, and ride around in a Harley. Mine may be to stay at home with my wife watching movies, writing, and reading books. My version ...

I have found that the trick to relaxing is redirecting your thoughts. After all, stress is, in large part, mental. I know, it's easier said than done -- especially in our busy, fast-paced lives. But all you need to do is take a few minutes each day to mentally disconnect from what you're doing and focus on those things that bring a smile to your face. Maybe it's your pet, your faith, your garden, a small business you're running on the side, or even a charity. In my case, I am an animal lover, so looking at pictures or videos of kittens does wonders on my mood. I don't have a pet as we speak, but glancing at those fur balls makes me look forward to the day I'll have one I can call my own. I also seem to feel better when or after listening to relaxing music, especially R&B. You'd be surprised at just how effective redirecting your thoughts can really be, even if you do it only once or twice a day.  Try it!

Over the years, I've had countless men come to me seeking advice on how best to court women. There always seems to a common thread: They shower the women with gifts and compliments, but it yields little more than a "thank you" and -- if they're lucky -- a peck on the cheek. Men, listen carefully. Stop what you're doing right now and sear this in your mind immediately: Women are GREAT at reading men, whereas we're flat-out lousy at picking up on the fairer sex's signals. (And you know it's true, guys. Don't deny it.) It's as though they have a special radar with which they can pin down a guy's motivations -- sometimes within seconds. Women are masters of subtlety, where men are terrible when it comes to keeping their feelings under wraps. Men have to grasp once and for all that you can't buy a woman's affections. There's nothing wrong with giving gifts and compliments -- but, for goodness sake, do it sporadically. Why complet...

We all have friends who love disclosing on Facebook virtually everything that pops to mind. From pictures of their lunch to videos of them doing silly things, people are using the social networking site to fill people in on their daily goings-on. Facebook has removed the need to call people on the phone and wish them a Happy Birthday, to mail people pictures of our kids, or to show up at people's houses to tell them about promotions or engagements. Facebook lets us do it all at the click of a button. Now, there isn't anything inherently wrong with this. But some people go a step too far by boasting of every fancy restaurant they go to and every vacation trip they go on. Why must people post such pics in real time and not just wait until they're back home to do so? Sometimes this screams "Haha...I'm here and you're not. Sucks for you." I think some people do this to overcompensate for something lacking in their lives. Some also try to paint a rosier pic...

Throughout my entire life, I have always been a relatively quiet guy -- the type who lets work and writing do the "talking" for him. I tend to observe and gather my thoughts before stepping in. I don't usually open my mouth unless I have something meaningful to say. I avoid small talk like the plague. These are the well-documented hallmarks of an introvert. Though I have always found comfort in my introspective ways, this certainly hasn't sat well with some people I've come across at school and in the workplace. In middle and high school, I had several peers (and even some teachers) question why I was so quiet. My taciturn demeanor and reluctance to speak up, unfortunately, made me an easy target for bullies, some of whom I came very close to getting into fist fights with. It isn't as though I didn't have friends or speak to classmates; I simply kept a low profile and minded my own business. I've encountered the same issue at work -- that is, peo...

Lately I find myself reminiscing a lot about the past. I have been combing the internet for radio clips transmitted and recorded by my favorite radio station over 15 years ago. I have also reflected upon old friendships and memorable occasions (birthday parties, graduations, etc.) that have left an indelible imprint on my life. You're probably wondering why in the world I would be searching for those radio clips. Well, one of the great things about music is that, like pictures, it takes you down memory lane and allows you to reflect upon what your life was like at the time -- who your friends were, which restaurants and movie theaters you frequented (and whether those venues are still in business today), how you dressed, and what your interests were. Going back to the title of this post, reflecting is healthful so long as it is done in moderation and not through rose-colored glasses. Nostalgia makes us think of happier moments in the past, but we tend to block out the less plea...

Between work, kids, and other responsibilities, human beings need a break from the humdrum of everyday life. Unfortunately, most of us don't have the wherewithal to set off on a cruise to the Bahamas every time boredom strikes. So what is one to do to break the tedium? That's when we resort to "mental" escapism in the form of: Reading novels Watching movies or soap operas Playing video games Writing stories And so on. I advise everyone to make the effort to carve out time in their busy schedules to engage in these activities. You don't have to be a movie buff or a bibliophile to enjoy a flick at the local theater or thumb through the pages of a good book or magazine.  The stresses of daily life can weigh on us and leave us feeling drained sometimes-- whether physically or emotionally. Mentally retreating into a different world -- be it one conceived by James Cameron, Nicholas Sparks, or yourself -- allows us to cast our worries aside at least ...

"Relationship Tips and Relationship Advice" is now " How to Understand People. " I decided to rename the blog " How to Understand People ," a name that I feel better captures what the purpose of this really site is: To explore the reasons why we and those around us behave in certain ways. We know human behavior largely depends on context and various situational factors, which we'll explore in detail here. Yes, the blog will continue to provide handy relationship tips and advice, but I feel the new name broadens the scope of the site to include such fascinating topics as nonverbal communication, positive signs being displayed by potential suitors on dates and would-be supervisors during job interviews, and much more. We will touch on a wide array of subjects that fall under different branches in the field of psychology, such as: Consumer psychology Social psychology Personality psychology Relationship psychology Organizational psychology An...