Everyone strives to be liked by all whom they come across -- co-workers, friends, acquaintances.  But what good is gaining someone's favor if it means changing who you are? Let's face it: There will always be something about you that someone is going to be displeased about, whether it's your gift for gab or penchant for quietness, your insistence on not drinking or your passion for the environment. Indeed, certain interests or personality traits may put you at odds with some people because they may not be, dare I say, mainstream? For example, almost all my sports-loving friends are football fanatics. I've never been big on pigskin, but I have been drawn to baseball from an early age.  I happen to think baseball is exciting, but most of my friends would beg to differ, always questioning how I can get into such a "dull" game. You may have found yourself in a similar situation when it comes to your political views, religious beliefs, or quiet demeanor. What I...

Go to a mall, grocery store, or even your local gym and you're bound to see people with a sullen look on their face. It doesn't matter that they're carrying around a Louis Vuitton purse or driving a Mercedes Benz -- their sulkiness communicates that they're not happy. While we can never know for sure unless we ask, I would venture a guess that a great deal of them know they're not living the kind of life they want to live; instead, they're living the life others want them to live. Some people strive to impress others, essentially living their lives on others' terms.  Unfortunately, many of these individuals don't realize until later in life that we must each find our own path to happiness. What makes your friend or neighbor happy won't necessarily fulfill you, whether in terms of hobbies, romantic relationships, or careers.  Just because you're not on the same road as someone else doesn't mean you're lost. Finding your own p...

Worry about your character , not your reputation . Your character is who you are . Your reputation is who people think you are . Stop for a moment and ask yourself this: Do you care more about what you think of yourself, or what people think of you? I sincerely hope it isn't the latter.  For one, no one has ever stepped or walked in your shoes but you. So, really, who are they to judge?  People can perceive you as being a certain way -- whether shy, obnoxious, self-centered, lazy, or dull. But perception, as you well know, isn't always reality. Our individual experiences shape us into the people we are, and people will never know the full extent of those experiences because they weren't there. And even if they were, they didn't live through them exactly as you did.  Why care about what someone thinks about you if they may turn your back on you or leave your life at any moment? Sure, there are people in our lives who mean a great deal to us ...

A relationship becomes insincere and pointless the moment you feel forced to be someone you're not . I don't care how much a person likes someone else. If you have to fake your personality to impress them, it's not worth it. On the other hand, you know when you're with the right person when you feel comfortable enough letting your true colors come out. Sure, in the beginning of the relationship, people try extra hard to make a good impression, doing their best to hide all their flaws. But sooner or later, a genuine version of yourself should be in evidence. You shouldn't have to force yourself to like or support something only because the other person does. Part of being in a relationship involves accepting each others' differences. Just because your partner is a football fanatic or history buff doesn't mean you to have to be one. Having different views and disparate hobbies can be advantageous to a relationship. The former can make for interesti...

Whether it's in the realm of love, friendship, or even your career, you should never have to force yourself to do anything. If deep down you feel like something doesn't come naturally, it's probably not right for you. For example, if you find yourself rolling your eyes everytime the person you're dating calls you, chances are you're not into him or her. And if the thought of going on another date seems like a chore, that only adds fuel to the argument. Even if your friends or relatives prod you to give someone a chance, you shouldn't cave if your heart isn't in it. And the worst thing you can do is remain in the relationship only because you feel bad for the other person. All that does is give them false hope. You wouldn't want someone to do the same to you, right? Moreover, if you're forcing yourself to keep alive a decades-old friendship while your buddy seems to have forgotten you exist, there comes a point where you have to say, "i...

There's nothing more admirable than someone who takes pride in their nerdy, geeky, wacky, or otherwise crazy self. When someone tells us not to be a certain way, it makes us want to be that way even more -- ten-fold. It's as if we're rebelling against a perceived attack on us. I love people who resolve to be true to themselves no matter how much criticism they get for it. They love themselves and don't apologize for it. To be different is to be unique -- not wrong. It's something to celebrate, not disparage. We should never compromise the things we believe, like, or do just to placate the masses. I'm tired of the pressure to conform to societal norms and expectations. We only have one life to live. Let's do so on our terms -- not anyone else's!