It's hard to believe that some victims of infidelity find it in their hearts to forgive and give their cheating partner a second chance. Is it worth taking such a gamble? Let's dive in. Taking back a significant other who's shown disloyalty to you can be a definite slippery slope. It's for this reason I would advise against making this move.  For one, who's to say they won't do it again? You may think you can rebuild trust in them, but in all likelihood, you'll be increasingly tempted to check their texts or e-mails. Perhaps you might question when they come home late or why they're having lunch with a co-worker of the opposite sex. In other words, your insecurity switch gets turned on. That's not to say that no one who's ever cheated has not been genuinely contrite for their mistakes or sincere in their effort to change their ways.  But let's be frank. By forgiving a cheater, you're essentially allowing them to have their cake and eat it...

Don't allow anyone -- not your friends, not your relatives, not your partner, and not your co-workers -- to put you down for mistakes you've made in the past. Many people have a nasty habit of, in the heat of an argument, or as a result of having a bad day, bringing back to light past mistakes that you've apologized for, learned from, and pledged not to repeat. They likely see it as ammunition they carry in their back pocket in the event they really want to make you feel like crap. They tell themselves that you should be appreciative of the fact they forgave you, even though, in their view, you didn't deserve it. It's as if you "owe" them. If they really forgave you, they should not indulge themselves by giving you guilt trips whenever the mood strikes, even if you've done something more recently to ruffle their feathers. Focusing their ire on the matter at hand is one thing; rehashing things you've put behind you is another entirely. I...

Everyone always focuses on whether the person who was cheated on will forgive the cheater, but should the cheater forgive himself/herself? No matter how consumed with guilt or shame they may be, it's not so much about forgiving themselves, but getting back up and making amends for what they did. For starters, they must acknowledge that what they did was wrong -- no excuses are fair game! Then, the cheater should own up to what he or she did and apologize without expecting their partner to accept the apology, let alone take them back . If the person finds it in their heart to forgive, then more power to them. But that decision is theirs and theirs alone to make, and the cheater should not bombard the partner they wronged if the latter opts never to speak to him or her again. In life, for better or worse, we must deal with the consequences of our actions. Cheating is one of those areas where an "undo" button may not be available to us. Most important, the cheat...

Unfortunately, the word "apologize" isn't in everyone's vocabulary. In fact, many people would stop talking to someone altogether before deigning to apologize to them. Why is it so hard for people to apologize? For one, they have huge egos. They can't bring themselves to show any contrition if their lives depended on it -- no matter how serious their actions. Secondly, they might be in denial, refusing to acknowledge they did anything wrong in the first place. Or, they may try to cast blame on external forces -- anything other than themselves -- including the weather, the alarm clock, or their neighbor. Showing remorse enables one to demonstrate a truly humane side of themselves. People may be reluctant to say sorry lest their apology not be accepted. But the fact of the matter is that the mere act of apologizing makes it much more likely you'll be forgiven. Unless you do something so horrible that an apology falls flat, simply saying the...

Many people vow never to forgive those who have cheated on them, and they're within their rights to do so. Here's my take: If a cheater shows immense contrition -- he or she issues a genuine, heartfelt apology -- then maybe they deserve to be forgiven. However, this in no way means that you ever have to trust or want to reconcile with them ever again. After such a flagrant breach of trust, how can you ever expect the person not to repeat the offense? Surprisingly, many people with hearts of gold give cheaters a second chance. I simply wouldn't be able to do that if I were cheated on. If I cheated on someone -- though I neither have nor ever would -- I wouldn't expect my partner to take me back, as I know the irreparable damage it can cause a relationship and on the wronged partner's psyche. The cheating partner has no right to push the other person to get back with him or her. Once he or she says "no," the person should respectfully back of...