Some of us have a tendency to become very attached to people in our lives, whether friends or coworkers. Maybe we grew up with them, have worked them for 20 years, and/or have shared a bevy of great experiences with these people. Sometimes we can't help but hold people in high regard, going so far as to consider them more like family than our actual relatives. However, as noted in many of my posts -- including some within the last week or two -- we often have a hard time accepting changes (whether abrupt or gradual) in their behavior, which ultimately change the dynamics of our relationship with them. Here are a few examples of ways people can change: 1. They get in a relationship, tie the knot, and/or have kids, leaving them with little or no time for you.  I have a friend who fell off the map last year while he was in a relationship with his ex. Once the relationship ended, he reverted back to his old ways, wanting to hang out with my wife and I almost every weekend. Ne...

If you were asked to name the biggest societal pressures we face, what would you say? Chances are at least some of these will be make your list: The pressure to get married  The pressure to have children The pressure to be thin The pressure to pursue only those careers that pay tons of money  The pressure to have a nice car, house, and other valuables There are many more pressures we face, of course, but I think the five above are the biggies, thanks in large part to Hollywood, advertising, and the media. Many people would say that the first three concern mostly women, while the latter two predominantly affect men. I'd argue, however, that people are pressured into doing all of these things irrespective of their gender.  It appears the tide is beginning to turn, though. For one, a few of my acquaintances have kids, but they've assured me that they don't want to get married. Others have confided that they're childfree by choice and want to keep ...

Today's quote comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), an American poet, essayist, and lecturer who led the Transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century: "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson It's amazing how Emerson's words ring especially true in this digital era we live in. Whether it's on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, people are always trying to one-up each other in an effort to get as many "likes" and positive comments as they can get. They lose sight of their true selves and instead turn into the individuals society wants them to be. In essence, they sell out for social approval. Indeed, society says that we should do all the following: Look as skinny as possible Have as many kids as possible Get married as early as possible Work in the most prestigious high-paying jobs (vice president, etc.) Possess as much money and materi...

I'm in a stage of my life where I am having trouble relating to some of my friends and family. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but at certain times it makes for a little awkwardness. My wife and I got married close to a year ago. We don't have kids, and we don't drink. That last sentence tells the whole story. By neither having kids nor the interest to drink, you can build a clear divide between yourself and many of those closest to you. I've noticed that people who have kids tend to drink. Some of those people admit that drinking helps them deal with the stress that children, married life, and their jobs bring. I've also observed that those things I'm deeply interested in (reading, writing, museum hopping, movies) either don't appeal to these people or they just don't have the time for them. As you've probably noticed from earlier posts, I am still ambivalent as to whether I want to have kids. Even if I decide to have one, I still wo...

As I've stated in other posts, when it comes to the question of whether or not to have kids, I'm still on the fence. While I have moments where I envision myself being a good dad to a little girl, the realities of parenthood -- loss of sleep and freedom among them -- are rather off-putting. I've noticed that ever since my best friend and many of my family members had kids, my relationships with them haven't been the same. That's understandable considering the extent to which children change one's life and how much of your time they take up. However, I can't help but feel a smidgen of jealousy that the kids have "stolen" these people from my life. Not only does my friend have two kids, but he moved nearly 6 hours away from me for a job opportunity. I've noticed that when my friend gets time away from his family and is able to call me, he lets loose like he used to back in his pre-marriage/pre-fatherhood days.(When his family is around, he ...

I realize this isn't the first time I've written on this topic, but it's something that continues to boggle my mind more and more with each passing day. Why does society pressure us so much into following a certain course of action -- that is, the route everyone else has taken? Just the other day, my coworker heard me saying I wanted to get a cat instead of a dog and gave me a 10-minute spiel on why getting a dog is the right choice. A mom of two, she based her argument on the assumption that my wife and I will have kids someday, and so she gave me her "mommy perspective." It's astonishing how people just assume things this way. Most people think everyone aims for the big-house-with-white-picket-fence-plus-three-kids--and-two-dogs deal, but that just isn't always the case. In addition to wanting a cat instead of a dog, here are a few other ways I might be going against the grain: I want to buy a condo, not a house (cheaper and less maintenance) I...