What makes us powerful is not that we're better than anyone else, for everyone has flaws. It's that we're different from them. Sure, "different" can carry a negative connotation if it means the person is, say, a drug addict, woman beater, or compulsive gambler. In this context, however, different means unique. Maybe you know no one who can whip up a mean apple pie like you can. Perhaps people lean on you for all things spelling and grammar because they regard you as the ultimate wordsmith. Or, you're an expert a fixing cars, playing the violin, chess, or scubadiving. We all bring a different set of talents to the table -- ones we should not only embrace, but continually aim to strengthen. Having unique skills shouldn't be perceived as an excuse to show off or pretend one is above others. Instead, it affords us the opportunity to: 1. Demonstrate to others the kinds of things we love (which may not align with their interests, and that...

Never should we allow others to undervalue us -- nor should we let ourselves do it. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that is completely accurate -- the sole assessment that really matters -- is your own. Self-worth, or self-esteem, results from our striving to treat ourselves with the love, care, compassion, and respect we deserve. Your self-worth can only be determined by you because it comes from within. The higher your self-esteem, the happier you are. And as I've stressed in my other posts, happiness emanates from inside of us. It's obvious that not everyone we come across in our lives -- from partners and friends to bosses -- will realize our worth. Still, that should never decrease our value in our own eyes. In relationships in which we don't feel valued, we have the option to address our feelings with the other person. If that doesn't bear fruit, we must decide whether the individual deserves a place in our lives. Now, this do...

People need to stop comparing themselves to others, or happiness will always elude them. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be more attractive. Someone will always be younger. Someone will always be more popular. But they will never be you. Society makes being "the best" out to be the Holy Grail, but is uniqueness not more important? We bring a unique combination of qualities, skills, and quirks to the table -- ones that make us who we are. By comparing yourself to other people, you're essentially saying there is a standard against which you wish to compare yourself. This, for many people, leads to a sudden urge to want to be more like others, thereby relinquishing key facets of their individuality. Sure, you might admire smart, health-conscious, or stylish people and wish to surround yourself with those of that ilk so as to learn a few things from them. However, that should never translate into abandoning the very goals, principles, attit...

Don't allow anyone -- from your closest friend to your worst enemy -- to step all over you. No matter the circumstance, you are as deserving of the other person's respect as they are of yours. If you're in a relationship with someone who thinks they can run roughshod over you because you've spoiled them rotten, it's time to establish new ground rules or get out of the relationship. Otherwise, you'll continue to be taken for granted. Similarly, if your friend seems to remember you exist only when they need something, make it clear to them that there is no such thing as a friendship built on selfishness. As with relationships, both people should reciprocate time and effort. If your toxic boss is convinced you'll put up with anything just to keep your job, prove him or her wrong by arranging a closed-door conversation. Impress upon them that they have absolutely no right to treat you like garbage, and hint that you'll take your skills and experie...

When people act like they're above you, should you respond in kind? Should you do to them what they're doing to you? Absolutely not, as that would be stooping to their level. Instead, the best way to respond to these haughty people is by being better today than the person you were yesterday . In other words, rather than pretending to be better than others, demonstrate to these very people that you are continually outdoing  yourself . That's sure to get them even more riled up. The way I see it, if someone is going around boasting of their toys or accomplishments -- to the point they're deliberately trying to throw it in your face -- it communicates one thing: You pose a threat to them. You give them competition, and they're out to best you. Perhaps there's even something you possess or have achieved that they're envious of. But don't give in. That's what they want -- an all-out competition to prove they're smarter or more accomplished...

In an ideal world, we'd all be paid handsomely to work in a company we love doing work about which we're fervently passionate, all while being surrounded by wonderful people. If this sounds like your situation, congratulations -- you're the envy of many a disgruntled working bee in Corporate America. Most of us, however, take issue with some aspect about our jobs. Though many of these aren't easy to pinpoint until you've been on the job for at least a month or two, think twice about remaining in or going to a company where: 1. There's no room to grow. Are you the ambitious type? If all that stands in the way of getting that coveted VP spot is, well, ten other people, you're better off looking elsewhere. Even if you're just waiting for your boss to retire, you may be left waiting for a while. 2. You have no voice. If your boss and other higher-ups discourage creative freedom, you might grow to resent the job very quickly. Companies that are so r...

Let go of the past. Let go of your regrets. Take stock of your life and focus on the here and now. The past is the past. The future shines ever so bright! You shouldn't regret your mistakes so long as you learned from them. Sometimes, our biggest failures end up being precisely what we need to grow as individuals. Don't let them impede your progress. Don't allow them to obstruct your path toward bigger and better things. Life goes on. Keep your head up. Stay positive. As hard as it may seem right now, things will get better. And just because you had a bad experience -- whether a relationship that went sour or a short-lived job that didn't fit your skills or temperament -- doesn't mean history is bound to repeat itself. Things can get better. Things will get better. Such experiences sharpen our judgment. The most painful experiences, in fact, supply us with the most strength and fortitude. Shed your mind of negative thoughts -- ones that do nothing ...

Ah, the notorious dead-end job. You know, the kind that offers little to no potential for advancement. The type where you've mastered all your tasks, are learning nothing new, and feel as though you're stagnating. Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves in this boat. I, for one, have been on the lookout for better opportunities for some time now, but have yet to reel in something good enough to leave my current dead-end position for, which at least pays well and provides great benefits. It can be a challenge for even some of the most experienced job hunters to pinpoint a dead-end job. Here are some telltale signs that it may be time to start polishing up that resume: 1. There's high turnover. 2. Several people have been in the same positions for years and years. 3. Your job doesn't make good use of your skills. 4. You feel as though opportunities to expand your skill set and grow professionally are few and far between. 5. There's promotion in sight. E...

We'd all agree that working with younger people has its advantages and disadvantages, as does working with more seasoned coworkers. But what one finds to be a pro or con about a certain age group really depends on their own age, experience, and other factors. In general, though, you can probably pinpoint a few characteristics of younger and older employees that would hold no matter where you work. For starters, many younger employees -- those in their 20s and 30s -- are eager to prove themselves, sometimes leading them to angle for the big projects and clients before they've earned their stripes (much to the chagrin of some bosses who want to keep those for themselves). While people can still be ambitious in their 50s and 60s, they may not be as aggressive in showcasing their skills or fishing for plum projects. At this juncture, they're usually settled and averse to job hopping, especially as they eye retirement. I've also observed that younger employees se...

Many supervisors are left scratching their heads when some of their best subordinates defect to other companies. Keeping employees engaged and loyal isn't rocket science, but many employers fail to recognize their shortcomings when it comes to retention -- or lack thereof. In order to keep employees motivated, they should heed the valuable tips below. The more of them they put into practice, the greater the chances of keeping their employees happy, which usually translates into longevity. 1. Provide a fair compensation and benefits package. You don't necessarily have to offer the highest salaries and best benefits in your respective industry, but employees know a cheap employer when they see one. If your starting salaries and benefits are not even remotely on par with those offered by your competitors, where do you think your talent will eventually end up? 2. Show appreciation for employees' hard work. My employer recently acknowledged my five year anniversary wit...

"Have it your way" was Burger King's slogan for 40 years. The thrust was that consumers could customize their burger any way they wished -- without cheese, with extra pickles, and so forth. I always thought the slogan could be adapted to construct a very powerful inspirational quote -- by changing the first two words to "live life." Thus, "live life your way." That's the motto I feel we should all live by. Dress as you wish. Pursue a career in the field of your choice. Savor the hobbies that make you feel alive. Live your life by your own terms. As I've stressed in several posts, I am ardently opposed to following the herd. Life is too short to try to appease everybody. You'll always disappoint someone. You'll always fall short of someone's expectations.  What's really the point of trying to do things to others' liking? You never know if that relationship will end tomorrow.  We should all embrace our Go...

One mistake many people make is that they keep their talents a secret, whether they're natural talents or ones cultivated over time. The possible reasons for this are quite simple: They either don't want to feel as though they're showing off, they aim to avoid the spotlight, or they're afraid of messing up while others are watching. All of these are perfectly reasonable. The last thing I am is a show-off myself, and I am not a fan of drawing attention to myself in the least. That's why, when I possess a talent I would like people to know about, I casually show them on a one-to-one basis. For example, I type well over 100 words per minute. Two co-workers who sit near me got wind of it by hearing me type away at blazing speeds. (They didn't notice by actually watching me, as the cubicles are partitioned by walls.) Eventually, they each asked for an individual demonstration, and I was happy to provide it. It isn't like I typed more slowly or quietly...

I've noticed that many employers couldn't care less about your educational background these days. I've gone to myriad interviews thus far in my career. From what I can remember, only one has ever commented on or raised questions about my degree. I wouldn't be surprised if many crafty people who don't hold a bachelor's degree fudge their resumes to include one and end up getting away with it. Large, structured organizations (e.g., Fortune 500 companies, the federal government, etc.) are more likely to conduct background checks to verify that you earned one, but many small businesses and start-ups that watch every penny don't bother. Everyone and his brother has a bachelor's degree, which is why many people say the bachelor's degree is the new high school diploma. In general, job seekers need to rely on more than the degree to set themselves apart. Indeed, recruiters tend to zero in on two particular things that they see as being far more valu...

Many of my coworkers have been working at my company -- and in the same department, no less -- for 20 or more years!  It's doubtless a rarity in this day and age of frequent job hopping.  Most of them lament staying there so long. Promotions have been hard to come by, not to mention they feel utterly stagnant in their jobs. Some tell me they can't remember the last time they actually learned something new. It certainly doesn't help that our department is run by two overbearing women -- my boss is one of them -- who are completely stuck in their ways.  Now in their 50s and 60s, they concede that it's too late to think about moving. They're more focused on retirement now than anything else. Competing for jobs with people as old as their kids, they say, is a losing proposition.  When asked why they stayed there so long, they admit that they became complacent over the years. I can attest to the fact that the company provides employees with a handsome salary...

When we were kids, we were asked a specific question that we probably felt we knew the answer to: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Answers would run the gamut -- from firefighter to teacher to baseball player. It's understandable that we wouldn't know what our calling is at such a young age. Unfortunately, though, some of us -- even in our 20s, 40s, or 60s -- still haven't arrived at a concrete answer. It's well-documented that a lot of us switch majors multiple times in colleges and go on to receive a degree in something we might never use in the real world. While this isn't a big deal, it does become a problem when one opts to change careers several times after being in the working world for a considerable amount of time. Here are a couple of reasons why: It shows you can't make up your mind as to which career you wish to settle into People will start to think you can't hold down a job Your resume is proof that you have ...