Understand People

Most of us seem to engage in linear thinking when mulling over how we think our lives will play out. We presume we'll work until our mid to late 60s, retire, and then live another 20 to 30 years. In the meantime, we try to "live life to the fullest" by staying as busy as we possibly can -- doing everything from traveling to having more kids to working multiple jobs. The fact is, none of us really know how long we'll be on this earth. We'd all like to think we'll live to be 90 or 100, but none of us can see into the future to know for sure. Without getting too morbid here, I'd like to go straight to my central point in this post: Is a good life necessarily one where you're so busy that you can't even stop to enjoy the music? How many people do you know who still stay home on the weekends just watching movies or reading books? Do you know anyone who actually does his or her best to slow it down as opposed to getting caught up doing a million

Most of us have been there at some point or another: You're in a relationship with someone, head over heels in love and convinced you have the makings of a fruitful marriage. Then, one day the two of you have a misunderstanding of some sort or an intense argument that either spells the end of the relationship or serves as the first of many spats to come. In the latter case, the relationship gets weaker and weaker over time until it becomes apparent that it has eroded into nothing. Naturally, we're going to feel unhappy, depressed, even lost for some time after the breakup. Some find it very hard to cope with the reality that the person they thought they might be with for the rest of their life is out of the picture for good. But it doesn't all have to be gloom and doom. What follows are three fantastic tips that will help you get back on your feet. Even if you've never  had to deal with a breakup, you'll want to read these tips should you ever find yourself in t

Ask any guy what kind of woman he ultimately wants to settle down with, and he'll probably tell you that he wants "a lady in the street and a freak in the bed." In other words, he wants someone worth taking home to mom, but who can let loose once both people are behind closed doors. Many men go through a stage in their lives where they aim to hump anything that moves and loath commitment of any sort. The women they generally gravitate toward in this phase are those commonly classified as "easy." Once they're finally ready to commit, though, they seek women unlike those they fooled around with. Now the name of the game becomes finding someone with a relatively uneventful sexual history who they can see as being the mother of their kids. Thus, they want a woman who can be a lady in public: one who is polite, well-mannered, well-spoken, and respectful. Once they're in bed, though, they yearn for the complete opposite: a woman who is evocative of t

Hi everyone, I launched "How to Understand People" at the end of July 2014. In such a short period of time, the number of people following the blog has already surpassed 1,000! With your support, though, that count can easily grow to 5,000 members before year's end. I ask that you please share the blog with your friends on Google +, Facebook, Twitter, and other sites on which you and they are active. The more people we have weighing in on the many topics discussed here -- from relationships to spending -- the livelier the discussion. I want to thank all of you for your contributions to the blog -- from giving one another advice to sharing individual posts with friends. You make all the hard work I put into it so worth it. Again, please be sure to pass this link along:  How to Understand People Kind Regards, Jeff Writer and Webmaster

There are myriad ways for men to set a romantic mood. Among these -- which, by the way, stands as my personal favorite -- is taking his lady to a nice restaurant that combines delectable food, soft music, and first-rate service with a relaxed atmosphere and unobstructed water views. A nice, candlelight dinner isn't always easy on the wallet, but it's worth it to spring for this kind of experience at least once in a while. To me, this is the single best way to set a romantic tone. What do you ladies think? Do you agree it makes for the perfect romantic evening? Please share with your friends and check out earlier entries here:  How to Understand People

Which gender would you say is more likely to forgive cheating? Men or women? According to a study I read about just the other day, it all depends on the type of cheating. Whereas men are less likely to forgive cheating of a sexual nature, women are less willing to forgive emotional cheating . In a way, these findings should come as no surprise to us. The research supports what many of us have been hearing for a really long time: That men are physical creatures and thus more interested in sex, and women are emotional ones. We've all seen movies where a woman catches her boyfriend sleeping with someone else. After much crying and bickering, the woman takes her cheating boyfriend back for one simple reason: He manages to convince her that he doesn't love the other woman. Now firmly believing that her boyfriend only has feelings for her, she reasons there must be a legitimate reason why he had intercourse with the other woman. A lot of thoughts begin to run through her h

Two of my female friends have confided to me a key reason why they wear perfume: to attract men. It's something I suspected all along, but women I have spoken to in the past have denied using perfume to reel in men. I suppose it's one of those "some do, some don't," scenarios, but my guess is that women who are intent on making a lasting impression on a man -- particularly one they're very attracted to -- will have perfume as a tool in her arsenal. Men do this all the time. When I was single, I would nearly bathe myself in cologne and received no shortage of compliments. Still, cologne alone doesn't make someone attractive to the opposite sex; factors like being clean and well-dressed also factor into the equation. However, when one is drawn to a pleasant scent, he or she will immediately try to locate the source. If that source happens to be you, you just might go up a few notches in that person's attractiveness scale. Picture this scenario:

Quote of the Day - How to Understand People Today's quote comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), an American lecturer, poet, and essayist who championed individualism and played a central role in the Transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century. "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson Even though Emerson lived in the 1800s, I feel this quote is still quite relevant in today's world. When he says "the world," he is really referring to society as a whole, which often pressures us to live up to certain expectations. There's always going to be something about you that people take issue with. This might include the fact you're: A virgin Not into drinking, smoking, drugs, or other substances Not married Child-free (and may never plan to have any children) Shy or introverted In a non-traditional, low-paying field (teaching, etc.) Of a

Many women admit to having been drawn to bad boys in their youth. They claim that they found their hyper-masculinity and self-confidence almost irresistible. Unfortunately, nice guys with good intentions were kicked to the curb, left scratching their heads over what they did wrong. These same women say that they outgrew this phase as the desire for marriage, children, and overall stability crept in. So here's the central question: Do women truly get over this love of bad boys, even when they're older? I think that women eventually stop pursuing such men, but that doesn't mean they don't want to see a little "bad boy" in their partners at least once in a while. In my view, women want their men to have some of the qualities commonly associated with bad boys, such as: Self-confidence Standing up for what he believes in, even if that means arguing to prove his point Getting fired up for a cause about which he's passionate Being aggressive and tak

We've all seen at least one movie where an older woman ensnares a younger, more inexperienced guy. (Ann Bancroft opposite Dustin Hoffman in "The Graduate" is a perfect example.) A lot of women prefer -- and can't seem to get enough of -- younger men. But what is it about these lads that would drive a woman to pick them over men their own age? The way I see it, some women find the prospect of "deflowering" a sexually inexperienced guy all too alluring. They think to themselves, "Hey, I could teach this guy a few things." Moreover, the mere fact that someone 10 -- even 20 -- years her junior could be more interested in her than someone closer to his age serves as a definite ego boost. Once women reach an age where they're no longer able to have kids, the chances of landing a young stud become less likely. However, many men in their 20s and 30s aren't interested in anything serious, let alone having children. And that's precisely w

It's Friday. For some of us, it's pay day. And, best of all,  a 3-day weekend awaits us. Triple jackpot! I posted earlier this week about how great it would be if employees had the option to work four-day weeks, thereby giving them three days off in which to rest, have fun, handle errands, etc. Since this choice is available to hardly anyone, all we can do is look forward to the next holiday that falls on a Friday or Monday. For those in the U.S., that would be Memorial Day, which is celebrated this year on Monday, May 25. While some people like using three-day weekends to go on vacation, I like staying close to home and hitting up the movies and restaurants, as well as squeezing in a concert or ballgame if we're able to book the tickets on time. Normally, I do nothing on Sundays but stay home relax, watch TV, and catch up on bills. When I know I'll have Monday off, however, Sunday becomes a "Saturday, continued" and Monday, the day before we have to r

You would think that women would naturally gravitate toward single men when looking for someone to flirt with. If the man is wearing a ring, that automatically deter coquettes from approaching them, right? Not necessarily! Based on what I've read and seen in the workplace, some women actually prefer flirting with married men. In fact, one of my co-workers tried to pull this stunt on me last year. You may be sitting there thinking "This guy is off his rocker," but when you stop and think about it, the reasons why some women would do this are fairly obvious. For one, if she isn't looking for anything serious, a married man offers a convenient means through which she can get some attention without things getting too sticky. After all, she knows he'll be going home to his wife, so no harm, no foul. Next, the mere fact that a woman cared enough about the guy to say "I do" draws flirtatious women to him. In their eyes, there must be something rather

Thanks to Kim Kardashian's well-publicized derriere and recent songs courtesy of Nicki Minaj ("Anaconda") and Meghan Trainor ("All About That Bass"), it seems big butts are all the rage these days. But why? Is this a burgeoning movement to convey that a little more junk in the trunk is attractive? Or is it part of an even broader appeal aiming to convince people that curves and a little more meat on the bones is sexy? It seems lately that there's a different story in the news each month about a plus-sized model being showcased in some well-known calendar or magazine. Perhaps this is a sign that society is finally letting go of the notion that a woman isn't attractive unless she's anorexic or very skinny. To think that this has endured for so long is simply mind-boggling. Even when I was in elementary school, I was already eying the most developed girls with the largest assets. Since then, I've maintained my preference for voluptuous wom

Believe it or not, not everyone likes to make out with his or her partner. Some people find it messy and borderline repulsive, even. They assert that the exchange of saliva makes it more likely for one to catch germs or something unseemly that someone with an extensive sexual history might pass on. My take? If you truly love someone, I don't see why you would ever feel this level of hesitation. Partners should be willing to at least give french kissing a try. Save for sexual contact, it is one of the most intimate things you can do with anyone. In fact, the one thing many female prostitutes and porn stars alike refuse to do -- come hell or high water -- is kiss the other person. They see kissing as something sacred to be reserved for the one they love. I understand some people being more conservative than others, but I'd guess that the vast majority of people who are opposed to it have never tried it for themselves. I think making out with the person you love is one of

We all know at least one person -- and it could be ourselves -- who just loves yapping on and on about his or her life. Whether it's talking about a child, neighbor, or the next cruise he or she intends to book, some people chatter incessantly about anything and everything going on in their lives. I actually have a couple of co-workers who do this. Now, opinion on these talkative folks seems to be rather divided. On the one hand, some people find them to be interesting in the sense that they always seem to have a new story to tell. Then there are the ones who regard these people as self-centered, considering they rarely stop to ask others about their lives. Personally, I find myself in the latter group. I'm not saying there's anything inherenly wrong with bloviating about your life. I just think it's only courteous to come up for air every once in a while and consider whether anyone else would like to add something to the conversation. Do people who blather on abo

Many people tell me that looks don't matter to them, whether we're talking about dating, friendships, or merely walking up to someone to ask a question. I can prove otherwise. Consider this for a moment; If you were out on the street and needed to ask someone for directions, who would you approach: a professional-looking gentleman wearing a business suit, a youngster wearing a baseball cap backwards, or an obese woman who looks like she can hardly walk? If you were at an animal shelter, which would you opt for: an adorable newborn kitten, or a 7-year old cat with respiratory problems? Assuming you were a recruiter, who would you rather hire: an inexperienced but very attractive  (think George Clooney attractive) 35-year old, or a highly experienced man who leaves a lot to be desired in the looks department? Be honest here. Don't sugarcoat your answers just to make yourself feel better! Think about what you would really do. As much as I want to believe people w

Full-time professionals in the U.S. work at least 40 hours a day, five days a week. A five-day work week (Monday-Friday) consists of 120 hours, meaning that we spend at least 33% of our time in the office. To put it another way, on average, we work 22 out of 30 days each month. And that doesn't even include the time we spend driving to and from work. Needless to say, when you consider how many of our waking hours are spent at work compared to the time we have off on the weekends, it's easy to see that we give away a hefty chunk of our lives to our employers. Save for the few vacations, if any, we take each year, weekends are usually our only time to: Relax Get more sleep Run errands we don't have time to do in the week Enjoy dining and entertainment with our partners, friends or families Do groceries Pay bills Mow the lawn and handle other home maintenance And more Let's face it: We don't have time to do all of the above every weekend. Just like wit

Ladies, take a moment to read the four categories I've listed below. Would you say you're a: 1) A girly girl : You're almost as passionate about discussing shoes, makeup, and clothes as you are about buying them 2) Like one of the guys : You love watching and/or playing sports, and you know more about sports than many of your male buddies 3) On the nerdier side : A night isn't fun unless it's intellectually-stimulating. You'd be perfectly content spending it at home reading a gripping book. 4) A little of each : Depending on the day and your mood, you can be any of the above If you asked me which type of women men generally like being around the most for an extended period of time, it would probably be those who fall under #2. They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but a woman who knows her sports or cars is irresistible to most guys. Men want their women to be feminine, so #1 can be important. However, you'll want to

Have you noticed that men tend to keep their emotions bottled up, especially when they're sad or upset? Even though I'm a man, I don't find it wrong to express my feelings when I need to reach out for support and know it'll help me feel better. A lot of my friends become quite uncommunicative when they're going through a tough time in their lives. They should be doing just the opposite. Just like society frowns upon women who are too sexually liberal, it seems to look down on men who are in touch with and open about their emotions. I understand that men shouldn't overdo it -- no one wants to see a guy bawling his eyes out all the time. But to constantly repress one's emotions is not healthy -- if anything, it can cause feelings of sadness or anger to intensify, making you feel even worse. In my view, venting is soothing for the mind, body, and soul. Guys who claim that expressing how they feel to their male friends -- or, even worse, their partners

I think the primary reason why so many people want to believe they have a soulmate is because they wish to see their lives play out like a fairytale -- one in which they end up with their princess or prince charming. That might seem plausible when it comes to couples who meet as teenagers, get married, have kids, and live out the rest of their lives together. But how often does this really happen? After all, the divorce rate in the U.S. is somewhere around 50 percent, with some people -- including my boss --  remarrying two or more times. There isn't just one person in the whole world who we're compatible with enough to maintain a long-lasting relationship.  For all we know, there could be hundreds of would-be "soulmates" for us residing in the U.S., Canada, Europe, Latin America, and China. There's no way to meet all these people, so what do people do? They reason that whoever they end up with in a relationship must be their soulmate. But think about ho

Let's face it: Everyone loves to be checked out and complimented--as long as it isn't done in a creepy, stalker-ish way--especially by someone we find attractive. It boosts our self-confidence and self-esteem, no question. The problem I find, though, is that many people-- particularly men-- assume someone is checking them out only because they made eye contact with them. Just because I look a woman in the eyes doesn't mean I'm checking her out. I might see someone coming my way (via my peripherals) and may simply want to see who it is. Guys are notorious for seeing more than is really there, especially those who are (1) shy (2) timid (3) not accustomed to interacting much with women. Women are usually more adept at noticing someone who's sizing them up. They are also much more subtle when it comes to checking out men who catch their eye. Now, catching someone staring or looking at you multiple times are usually tell-tale signs that you are being checked ou

Hi guys! I wanted to pick your brains for a bit and ask you a couple of questions regarding your favorite way to communicate with your friends. This will be the subject of a future blog post, into which I'll be incorporating some of your responses. Please write your answers on Google + or in the comment section of the blog page itself. Thanks in advance! QUESTION 1: What is your favorite way to communicate with your friends? (A) In person (face to face) (B) Via phone, text, email, or social media (Facebook, etc.) QUESTION 2: What drove you to pick your answer to Question 1? (A) My personality (B) I prefer communicating this way in general (C) My lifestyle (busy, laid-back, etc.) (D) All of the above QUESTION 3: Even though technology makes it easier to stay in touch, do you feel it is watering down your friendships (e.g. makes it harder for people to make the effort to meet in person)? (A) Yes (B) No (C) Possibly Thanks again for your help, and I look forward

My wife and I have been friends with Dan since high school. When she and I hooked up in 2005, it seemed only natural to invite him along on many of our outings. He was single at the time and remained so until just this year. I figure that my wife and I spared Dan plenty of Friday and Saturday nights by himself. Even though being the third wheel isn't always fun, it sure beats not having anyone to interact with, right? Dan finally entered into a relationship about 3 months ago, and it's as though he has fallen off the map completely. He's hardly active on Facebook and doesn't deign to call or text me, even occasionally. The Dan from before is no longer. I'm trying not to take it personally and reason that maybe he'll come around again once the honeymoon stage he and his new girlfriend are in tapers off. To be frank, I feel a little cheated -- almost as if he's stolen something from me. What that something is I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe i

According to a study recently published in the Journal of Marketing, the smell of cinnamon can actually have an effect on your purchasing behavior! Per researchers, when a warm scent like cinnamon or vanilla fills a store, it can make you subsciously feel as though you're in close quarters. This, in turn, can lead you to feel inadequate, prompting you to purchase more expensive products to counter the sense of inadequacy. Who would have thought that scent alone could drive consumers to spend more? I'd imagine that this study has immense implications for companies that sell big-ticket items like televisions, laptops and cell phones, jewelry, and cars. It's kind of scary when you think about the lengths retailers go to to influence our purchasing decisions. From scents and food samples to colorful signs and unusual store layouts, these companies are doing everything they can to appeal to any one of our five senses. Once any of these cues captures our attention -- in a g

Many men take issue with the fact that certain women become overly possessive in relationships -- not the relationships the men themselves are in, but those of their friends . To be quite frank, I have to side with these frustrated men on this one. A lot of men do, indeed, become "whipped" -- they get into relationships and vanish without a trace shortly thereafter. This ends up seriously diluting the guy's friendships. I've seen this transpire with a handful of guys I went to high school with, and I'm still attempting to wrap my head around it. Trying to make plans with them is an exercise in futility. They don't turn you down outright, but tend to flake out at the last minute, which I find to be even worse. I've come to the conclusion that the guys most likely to exhibit this kind of behavior: Are newbies in the world of dating, and it happens to be their first real relationship Because it's their first relationship, they don't want to

As many of you have probably realized, I have a predominantly female readership on this blog, and what a treat that is! As a man, I love getting a female's perspective on the many topics covered on this site, from relationships and sex to personality and spending habits. I have to say -- most men aren't like me. I wish I could say there were more guys out there as passionate about human behavior as I am, but most would rather be playing sports or getting drunk. That's the truth. I've found that women are far more intuitive and in sync with their emotions. They not only understand themselves better than men do, but they are masters at dissecting the opposite sex. Men certainly have a lot to learn from them, myself included. For those of you here who are moms, I'd like to wish you a Happy Mother's Day filled with love, happiness, and endless smiles. Thank you for everything you have done and continue to do for your offspring! Again, whether you have kids

Have you noticed how some people would rather stay home than have to go anywhere by themselves? To them, the thought of flying solo to catch a movie, eat at McDonald's, or amble around the park seems almost alien. But studies I read about just yesterday reveal that we often underestimate the level of enjoyment we would get out of doing things by ourselves versus with other people. Perhaps it's understandable that you wouldn't want to, say, visit a luxurious restaurant or go on a trip to Walt Disney World all by your lonesome. But what's really the harm in enjoying a little "me" time at the library, gym, or store? In an earlier post this year, I mentioned that this phenomenon often plays out at work. Three of my co-workers will not mosey over to the cafeteria to grab coffee until they're all present. If one of them isn't coming into the office that day, the other two will try to get someone else to fill his or her place. I'm not sure when

We know that trust and communication are essential to any relationship; I've elaborated on that in prior posts. But here's an oft-overlooked element on which relationships also depend for survival, and one I studied in depth in most of my psychology classes: proximity . Dictionary.com defines proximity as "nearness in place, time, order, occurrence, or relation." Have you noticed that the people you're often closest to at work or school are those who sit near you? Or that your closest friends are usually the ones who still live in the same city as you do? This should come as no surprise to us. Proximity is like a special glue that holds the relationship together. The closer we are to other people, the more likely it is for us to bond with them. Once someone in the relationship moves -- whether to a different cubicle at work or to a different home or city altogether -- the relationship tends to suffer. Once you create distance between yourself and someo

As you know, I love to observe and comment on human behavior, and that includes patterns I see among people of a certain age. I've worked with three divorced men who have gone on to either remarry or have a serious relationship with someone else. What I've noticed about said women is that they: Are considerably younger (we're talking 15-20 younger) Are child-free (whether by choice or for other reasons)  Have never been married themselves Clearly got some kind of benefit from the relationship (money, citizenship in the U.S., etc.) Usually meet the men at work And this makes perfect sense. For one, many men prefer younger women to begin with, as they tend to score higher on the attractiveness meter. As men see it, they usually have fewer wrinkles and health issues, not to mention better bodies. Hence, many men assume that younger women make better partners in bed. These men are all in their 50s and have already begun looking for someone who could "take c

I wanted to start a new feature called "Why Wednesdays," in which I question why people do or don't do certain things, their actions seemingly going against common sense. I'll then open the floor so that you guys can try to answer the questions or add some of your own to the list. Then I'll reply and give my two cents. OK, here goes... Why don't people who run public bathrooms make available cans of air freshener so that people don't stink up the place when they do their business? Why do some people think it's okay not to hold the door for someone who's either behind them or coming in the opposite direction? Why do drivers try to beat yellow lights when their purpose is to get you to slow down? Why do so many people have unprotected sex when they know what the consequences will be? Why do some people think it's okay to pry into others' business but keep mum about their own lives? So, these are five questions to stimulate you

Generally speaking, women tend to be more (1) talkative, (2) sociable , and (2) excitable than men. At work, I notice this all the time. It's usually women who: Coordinate all the social events (cut birthday cakes, arrange anniversary parties, etc.) Are already yapping as soon as they arrive in the morning Get more easily roused by even trivial things (Oh my God! It's raining outside!) Chit chat about shopping, dining, and virtually anything else you can think of (except sports, maybe) Become more hyper when around others of the same sex Men, on the other hand, generally stay focused on their work and do less talking.  Now, I'm not implying that one way is necessarily better than the other. Whereas men are known to be logical creatures, women are usually driven by their emotions, which may partly explain the differences in temperament between the sexes. The world needs both! I've observed, however, that women at work also tend to pry into my busine

For as long as I can remember, men have gotten a bad rep for being perverts. But can women be as perverted as men? The answer obviously depends on the person in question but, in general, women can be just as perverted -- if not more so -- than men. The primary difference between men and women in this regard, however, is that women are subtle about it while men are highly vocal . How often have you heard a group of women engage in risque talk openly in public? As a guy, I have yet to come across women doing this. And while I often see men checking out women all the time, I hardly ever catch women doing the same. Women are certainly masters in the art of subtlety. I'm assuming it's something they've honed for fear of being called sluts. Society seems to frown upon women who are too sexually forward. And the last thing they want people of the opposite sex -- and of the same sex, for that matter -- to think is that they're "easy." Men, on the other han

Albert Einstein (1879-1955), arguably the most influential scientist ever to have lived, once said: "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." I agree with this quote 100 percent. No matter what goals we may work toward, life throws curveballs our way that can quickly stop us in our tracks. Whether we're aiming to find a partner, land a new job, or lose weight, we can become easily discouraged and give up. As I have noted in earlier posts, life isn't so much what happens to us as what we do with what happens to us. In other words, if we fail in our first few attempts, do we have reason to lose hope and just accept that we can't do it? Absolutely not! If a person wants something enough -- if he truly puts his heart and soul into it -- sooner or later, he will catch a break. This brings me two famous quotes from the 3rd President of the United States, Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826): "Why is it that the harder I try,

While I tend to be quite open with my wife about how I feel, many of my male friends do the exact opposite. In fact, they tend to alienate themselves from me -- and presumably others -- when they're going through tough times in their lives. Based on what I've gathered, the reason men don't like to express themselves simply boils down to this: they feel others will perceive it as weakness. But what men have to understand is that we're only human. It's okay for men to cry. It's okay for men to admit they need a shoulder to lean on. Women won't think any less of you if you get emotional. Sure, most women would prefer that men not overdo it. For example, they wouldn't want their partners to cry more than they do. But the notion that men should not cry under any circumstances is absolutely ludicrous. If anything, most women prefer that men shed tears when justified -- it shows a sensitive part of them that probably doesn't come out often. And men do

One of my closest friends recently got into a relationship and has fallen off the map completely. A guy who'd call me often and post something on Facebook almost daily, he's seemingly vanished without a trace. And he's not the first friend to go down this route. Truthfully, this has left me scratching my head. Why do some people enter into a relationship and forget that their friends exist? Here are some possibilities: The relationship consumes them to the extent that they neglect all other aspects of their social life Their partner wants your friend all for themselves, and your friend acquiesces  They feel complete with a partner and no longer see the need for friends It's normal for people not to have as much time for friends once they hook up with someone else. But kicking friends to the curb is wrong on so many levels.  For one, our friends have been there for us through the thick and thin. Over the years, some of them have invited us along on th

What's the one thing that men wish women did more often in the bedroom? Not surprisingly, it's to initiate sex. Many men are frustrated by the fact that their partners expect them to always be the aggressors in the bedroom. "Why should I always be the one to break the ice?" they wonder. "It's the 21st century." Women could be reluctant to take the first step for one or more reasons: They prefer to stick to traditional gender roles in which the man pursues the woman They're afraid of rejection, should their partners not be in the mood Initiating makes them feel slutty  The issue is that many guys are left feeling rejected themselves when it becomes apparent that their partners don't want to take the initiative.  So what is a guy in this situation to do? He can start by talking openly with his partner about how he feels. If his wife's initiating sex would make him feel more desired, he should be upfront about it.  If s

Happy Friday, y'all!  I wanted to get everyone's day off to a good start with the quote below. What does it mean to you? "The starting point of all achievement is desire." - Napoleon Hill To me, this quote is awfully simple. Hill is saying that you can't be successful in life unless you're truly passionate about whatever it is you decide to venture into, whether for work or leisure. This is precisely why I advise people against going into a field solely on the basis of money. Yes, making good coin is important, but money holds your interest only up to a certain point. If you're not intensely passionate about your work, you'll feel as though you're merely spinning your wheels for a paycheck. But this applies to everything from starting a business and losing weight to buying the right house and jumping out of an airplane. We all have goals we want to accomplish, some more arduous than others. Desire is the fuel that keeps us going in the fa