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Here's why ditching your friends for love is a BAD idea...

One of my closest friends recently got into a relationship and has fallen off the map completely. A guy who'd call me often and post something on Facebook almost daily, he's seemingly vanished without a trace.

And he's not the first friend to go down this route.

Truthfully, this has left me scratching my head.

Why do some people enter into a relationship and forget that their friends exist?

Here are some possibilities:

  • The relationship consumes them to the extent that they neglect all other aspects of their social life
  • Their partner wants your friend all for themselves, and your friend acquiesces 
  • They feel complete with a partner and no longer see the need for friends
It's normal for people not to have as much time for friends once they hook up with someone else. But kicking friends to the curb is wrong on so many levels. 

For one, our friends have been there for us through the thick and thin. Over the years, some of them have invited us along on their outings with their partners, just so that we wouldn't have to stay home along on a Saturday. (My wife and I did this all those years that my friend was single.) 


But the single biggest reason why estranging yourself from friends could come back to bite is you is that you never know when you'll need them. Your relationship could end tomorrow for myriad reasons. The ones you'll likely turn to for consolation are your friends, but will they still be there for support after you deserted them? True friends don't only think of their buddies when they're in a bind.

Personally, I don't take kindly to friends who forget I exist once they enter into relationships. Why? Because I never did it to them when I began dating my now-wife.

I think everyone should strive to keep a balanced social life. Spending all your time with your partner can be suffocating. A night or two every month (at least) with your friends gives you and your partner space to pursue other interests and mingle with different people. It's important to remember that you're still two individual people with different likes, dislikes, hobbies, and opinions.

If you're in a relationship and can't remember the last time you saw or spoke to your friends, a get-together is in order. Why not give them a call and propose an outing? As long as you explain to your partner that you want to carve out a little time to catch up with buddies, there's no reason for him or her to say no.

To read earlier entries, click here: How to Understand People 


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