Worry about your character , not your reputation . Your character is who you are . Your reputation is who people think you are . Stop for a moment and ask yourself this: Do you care more about what you think of yourself, or what people think of you? I sincerely hope it isn't the latter.  For one, no one has ever stepped or walked in your shoes but you. So, really, who are they to judge?  People can perceive you as being a certain way -- whether shy, obnoxious, self-centered, lazy, or dull. But perception, as you well know, isn't always reality. Our individual experiences shape us into the people we are, and people will never know the full extent of those experiences because they weren't there. And even if they were, they didn't live through them exactly as you did.  Why care about what someone thinks about you if they may turn your back on you or leave your life at any moment? Sure, there are people in our lives who mean a great deal to us ...

If you don't love yourself, you can't really love anyone else. Happiness starts from within. Love starts from within. Other people don't complete us -- we do that ourselves. Others merely enhance our lives. I know a few people who spend all their time pleasing others and are left feeling empty and burned down at the end of the day. Why? Because they fail to carve out some time for themselves -- to relax, to contemplate, to pamper themselves. When you feel good about and love yourself, you're more confident. You're in a better mood. You have the disposition and frame of mind to then focus on others and their needs. People may argue that seeing others is all it takes to make them happy, but if they don't love themselves sufficiently to begin with, that happiness just isn't sustainable. People won't always be around; sometimes you'll be by yourself. Take a few moments each day to contemplate your best qualities. Think about something gre...

Today's quote is quite empowering -- and it comes from none other than Dr. Seuss himself! "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Essentially, he's saying that the people who ultimately matter in your life are the ones who will value you for who you are. On the other hand, those who try to prod you to change -- most likely out of a deep-seated urge to seek validation for their own thoughts and decisions -- shouldn't have any place in your life. Those who take exception with your interests, beliefs, and values do little to enrich your life, whereas people who embrace what makes you you are true keepers. There's nothing I find more irritating than a person trying to persuade me into thinking or acting more on them, let alone after I tell them I want to stick to my guns. There's a difference between suggesting someone consider something they may initially be opposed to, a...

Look in the mirror and you'll see the person ultimately responsible for your happiness -- yourself . It's a shame that so many people I talk to are quick to mention other people when asked what exerts the biggest influence on their happiness. Yes, some people bring us great joy -- our parents, spouse, children, closest friends -- but they should not bear the responsibility of making you happy all the time. Parents grow old, our spouses have their own issues to worry about, our children grow up eventually, and our friends can always drift away from us. No one has your best interests at heart more than yourself. No one confides in you more than yourself. No one experiences the highs and lows in your life like you do. Happiness shouldn't depend on how people treat you or what they think of you. In fact, in my view, you can't love others unless and until you love yourself first. We all want to feel loved and accepted by others. Great social relationships, in and...

Dictionary.com defines a narcissist as "a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish." Other words associated with narcissism include: Self-love Self-admiration Self-absorption Self-obsession Conceit Self-centered Self-regard Egoism  I don't take exception to people who are self-absorbed without showing off . It's when people have the impulse to voice -- loudly, I might add -- how great they are, how beautiful they are, how much better they are than anyone else. It's when people are so arrogant as to take credit for everything -- whether at work or elsewhere -- when they know full well that they received ample support from others.  Selfishness isn't necessarily a bad thing. There's nothing wrong with turning down invitations from friends or family so that you can spend the evening alone, or treating yourself to a hearty lunch at a nice restaurant following a difficult week at work. Loving yourself is actually a key...

You're tired. You're stressed out. You feel like there isn't enough time in the day to do everything. Life seems overwhelming, many of your problems seemingly insurmountable. We've all been there. Just relax and take things one day at a time. Problems can't be fixed overnight. Worries don't evaporate in the blink of an eye. Take it one step at a time. A horrible day won't last forever. There's always the promise of a better tomorrow. Things will get better with time. If you feel you've reached the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. If you feel it can't get any worse, smile -- it'll only get better moving forward. But you must never lose hope. Once hope is lost, it becomes nearly impossible to break out of the downward spiral so many of us get ourselves in. We become deeply depressed, our self-esteem and vigor diminishing more and more by the day. Don't let that vicious circle of negativity get the best of you. Remin...

Life is too short to waste our time chasing after friends, partners, or potential suitors who are too busy or indifferent to make time for us. I firmly believe that there's the right friend and partner for everyone out there -- the kind whom doesn't make you feel like you need to climb mountains and traverse rivers to see them. If you have one great friend who is always there for you when you need him or her, consider yourself fortunate. I know we all have an ever-increasing heap of responsibilities to worry about, and time just doesn't seem on our side. Still, a true friend will make the effort to squeeze you in. The same applies to someone you may be talking to on the love front. Whenever a girl failed to answer my calls and found every excuse in the book not to see me, I knew what the issue was: She just wasn't feeling me. As I've stressed several times in my posts, we can always count on the company of one specific person: ourselves. I'd rather enjoy b...

Quote of the Day - How to Understand People Today's quote comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), an American lecturer, poet, and essayist who championed individualism and played a central role in the Transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century. "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson Even though Emerson lived in the 1800s, I feel this quote is still quite relevant in today's world. When he says "the world," he is really referring to society as a whole, which often pressures us to live up to certain expectations. There's always going to be something about you that people take issue with. This might include the fact you're: A virgin Not into drinking, smoking, drugs, or other substances Not married Child-free (and may never plan to have any children) Shy or introverted In a non-traditional, low-paying field (teaching, etc.) Of a...