Late musician Kurt Cobain (1967-1994) was once quoted as saying: "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same." I think the quote perfectly captures a persistent problem in our society: That people are ostracized when they're noticeably different in some way from the mainstream. This runs the gamut from virgins to non-drinkers, introverts to nerds, tree huggers to the extremely religious, childfree to vegan. Herd mentality describes how people are influenced by their peers to take on certain behaviors, follow trends, and/or purchase products. Whether you're contemplating which car to buy, whom to make your next doctor, or what constitutes trendy nowadays, you'll probably take your cue from someone else. It could be a friend, family member, or coworker. The thought of someone who's a little different is unsettling for many people. That, in turns, drives us to do all we can to conform to societal expec...

Many childfree individuals like myself get asked repeatedly when it is that we plan to have children. The pressure is even more pronounced for women, who society expects to kick into baby-making mode as soon as the so-called clock begins to tick. What doesn't add up, though, is that many of the parents asking the question are the same ones who complain about the stress and headaches brought on by parenting. They're endorsing the very thing that's making them go haywire. It's like being miserable at work as an accountant and encouraging others to follow the same career path. As hard and stressful as it may be, having kids is the norm in most people's eyes. It's just "what you do," and if one decides not to have children, people assume sterility is to blame or that something else is wrong.  It's unfair to say that all parents are envious of the childfree, but it's certainly likely that a few of them are. After all, the childfree hav...

In life, you can mourn the loss of a friend in two ways: 1. He or she passes away 2. He or she becomes a completely different person over time, diluting and possibly ending your once-fantastic friendship. (The friendship may also end as a result of simmering conflict or following a big argument between you two.) For this post, I'll focus only on #2. As I have noted in prior posts, with people, the only constant in life is change. Changing circumstances -- a new career, marriage, children, relocation -- redirect our energies and either leave us with limited time for friendships or prompt us to forge new ones. People like me, despite whatever life throws at us, make the effort to keep in touch with close friends. I'd like to think that I haven't changed much since high school, except for the obvious (married, full time job, mortgage, etc.). Unfortunately, some people are better than others at balancing the demands of work, family, and a social life. Several people ...

As I've stated in other posts, when it comes to the question of whether or not to have kids, I'm still on the fence. While I have moments where I envision myself being a good dad to a little girl, the realities of parenthood -- loss of sleep and freedom among them -- are rather off-putting. I've noticed that ever since my best friend and many of my family members had kids, my relationships with them haven't been the same. That's understandable considering the extent to which children change one's life and how much of your time they take up. However, I can't help but feel a smidgen of jealousy that the kids have "stolen" these people from my life. Not only does my friend have two kids, but he moved nearly 6 hours away from me for a job opportunity. I've noticed that when my friend gets time away from his family and is able to call me, he lets loose like he used to back in his pre-marriage/pre-fatherhood days.(When his family is around, he ...