At the end of the day, what people think of you is none of your business. Why? Because your happiness doesn't depend on other people. It resides within you! So why should the joy and satisfaction you get from life be contingent upon their opinion of you, which may be faulty to begin with? No matter how hard you may try to please others, you will always fall short in someone's eyes. How others see us is not necessarily who we are. They merely base their opinions on how they perceive us. And, remember, human beings are conditioned to accept perception as reality when they don't have all the facts. It's akin to judging a book by its cover. Never allow the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice.  The deeper we get sucked into others' opinions -- and the harder we seek their validation in order to feel whole -- the easier it is to lose ourselves. Obviously, we all want to do our part to cultivate a favorable image of ourselves. No one ...

You know it is time to pull the plug on a relationship when you've done everything conceivable to make your partner happy, but they fail to recognize your efforts and refuse to do their fair share. You've done everything imaginable to make the relationship work, but he or she continues to cheat, be lazy, take you for granted, or give you the cold shoulder. It's at this point you no longer feel guilty about walking away. In fact, doing so makes you feel liberated because it means you can finally pursue a relationship with someone who will invest the time and energy you do. A relationship that weighs you down -- one that leaves you feeling more dead than alive at the end of the day -- is no relationship at all. Rather, it is more like an albatross over your head that is inhibiting your growth. A good partner enhances our lives with traits that we may lack or that complement our own -- whether it's a great sense of humor, a flair for adventure, or a love of the a...

If one thing is for sure, it's that not everyone is going to like us. Some people will find us annoying. Others will deem us rude. Still others will think we're conceited, messy, obnoxious, dumb, stingy, or lazy. And it doesn't really matter whether any of these labels have merit or are entirely baseless. All that matters is how we're perceived. Perception is, in fact, reality in the eyes of those who may not know us all that well. If not a single person has a beef with you -- if you feel everyone you know holds you in high esteem -- it boils down to one of two things: (1) They're lying. (2) You're in denial, or in the dark. Someone in our circle -- whomever it may be -- takes issue with something about us, whether it be our religious or political beliefs, our weight, our choice of partner or career, our hobbies, our favorite foods, and so forth. Granted, someone can like you and, say, still clash with you when it comes to politics. But to say th...

When people judge you and you become bothered and angry by what they say, you lead them to believe they're right. When people judge you and what they say goes in one of your ears and out the other, you're demonstrating one thing: you couldn't care less what they think. This is the posture we should adopt. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent. Why should you care about what they say? No one's a better judge of your character and personality than you. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Why give such judgments any importance when, at the end of the day, what you think about yourself is all that matters? If you judge yourself to be lazy, rude, hurtful, or irresponsible, it's up to you decide whether those traits ought to be changed. Change them because you wish to do so, not because others are prodding you to. If you judge yourself to be bookish or ambitious, it's no one's place to tell you to change those...

You wouldn't stay on a sinking ship, would you? So why stay in a relationship you know is faltering? Whether your partner is abusive, lazy, or doesn't bother putting in the time and effort he used to, it's probably time to kiss the relationship goodbye. As I've noted in my prior posts, I encourage people to voice their concerns to their partner before taking this drastic step. A good heart-to-heart where both parties clear the air is essential to the health of the relationship. But if your partner refuses to change his ways, that's a clear-cut sign it's time to move on. Sometimes it isn't that your partner has done anything overtly wrong. Rather, you lack chemistry, or both of you have lost the spark that once drew you together. It isn't necessarily anyone's fault, but even in this case, it isn't advisable to remain in a relationship with the person. You'd be wasting time on each other when there are other people out there for both ...

A recent study found that 40% of millennials prefer not eating cereal if it means having to clean up after eating it. Such respondents say they'd rather pick up a smoothie or protein bar instead. Now, I know this doesn't apply to everyone -- some of us are very diligent about washing the dishes, even if it's the last thing we want to do in the morning or evening. (I'm that way myself.) But those who do fall into this group seem awfully spoiled or lazy, if you ask me. Seriously -- how long could it possibly take to wash a bowl thoroughly? I'd say it can be done in 10-15 seconds, if that. Technology has made things so easy for people that many just don't want to lift a finger anymore. I suppose they care more about wasting time on their smartphones than being a responsible adult. And the worst part about it is that many people don't "outgrow" this. Many of these millennials will merely rely on their partners to wash the dishes for them. And o...

It's hard to believe it's Sunday already -- the first Sunday of October, no less. The week -- not to mention the year -- has flown by! Sunday happens to be the day of the week on which I'm at my laziest. The feeling lasts all the way through Monday afternoon. In fact, I don't feel like I'm in all-out work mode again until Tuesday morning.  There's nothing that puts me in a lazier mood than being all cozy in bed while watching a good flick or reading an absorbing book. Adding closed blinds and the sound of rain compounds the feeling tenfold.  Other than Sunday and Monday, I get bitten by the lazy bug on Friday afternoons, though not as badly. Most people do very little after lunch on Fridays in light of the fact that the weekend is upon them.  Laziness can also set in when I get home from work. It isn't always easy to cook or wash dishes, let alone hit the gym, after you've worked all day.  I try my best to do as little as possible on S...

Thanks to how easy technology has made everything for us, people are becoming lazier and lazier by the minute. At work, people would rather wait five minutes for the elevator than take the stairs. And as I've stressed in some of my other posts, people are relying heavily on technology to do everything from send out wedding invitations to wish people a Happy Birthday. The world has gone digital -- in the process, our relationships with people have grown more impersonal. Traditional Hallmark cards? Written letters sent by mail? These things have gone the way of the dodo bird. While technology certainly has made it possible to do things at the push of a button -- things our ancestors could only dream of -- it has also made us lazy and complacent. I've said it before and I'll say it again here: I think people are spending too much time watching TV and surfing the web. This has contributed in part to what pundits and academics have been saying for years: Society is b...

As cliché as it may sound, I have found this maxim to be true: "Failing to plan is planning to fail." Granted, none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes that ultimately serve as valuable learning experiences. What's more, some of us plan and still end up with less-than-desirable outcomes. But far too many of my friends have wound up in difficult situations -- from grappling with poor career choices to navigating tumultuous relationships -- that could have been avoided had they only planned ahead. Here are a couple of reasons why we might fail to plan our decisions carefully: We're impulsive : We act in the moment without carefully considering the consequences beforehand. We're lazy : There's a reason why psychologists have dubbed human beings "cognitive misers." Naturally, we try to expend as few mental resources as possible. We're emotional: Whether we're happy or angry, our emotions often get in the way of reason, leading us...

Consumers generally try to expend as little brain power as necessary before and while shopping. For example, most of us would easily be swayed into buying a particular product after seeing the word "Sale" slapped on the price tag. But did you know that retailers generally mark up the price so much to begin that you're not getting much of a deal at all? Thanks to advertising, we've come to associate words like "sale" and "discount" with must-have products. Unfortunately, very few of us actually take the time to tally everything up en route to the cash register and determine whether we're truly scoring a bargain. Marketers know that unless they can lead you to think you're getting a deal, they'll likely have a hard time getting you to open that wallet. Marketing is all about psychology. More specifically, marketing is all about perception. You don't need to be getting a spectacular deal -- you just need to think you are. Even...

As the world becomes more and more technologically advanced, it seems many people have only become lazier. A self-admitted history nerd, I always wonder what people did in, say, the 1800s for leisure and entertainment. It seems they made a pastime of reading books and writing letters to each other, among other activities. In this age of social media, texting, and email, how many people nowadays still write letters to each other by hand? Whereas I am a voracious reader, most of my friends wouldn't be caught dead with a book in hand. Instead, they seem to be glued to their trusty TVs, Netflix and Amazon Prime being all the rage these days. Writing letters and reading books are, in most people's minds, the kinds of activities you have to seek out and feel inspired to do -- which at the end of the day can use up more of their mental resources (or so they feel). On the other hand, TV programming comes at you -- you need not do much other than grab the remote control and su...