We've all heard the axiom, "True beauty comes from within." And I agree wholeheartedly, which is why I've used it in several of my posts. But, in my view, those who say looks don't matter at all are flat-out kidding themselves. Yes, looks should never be the thrust of any relationship. The glue that holds two people together is a deep, emotional connection. But the fact of the matter is that, for better or worse, the first thing our eyes go to is one's physical appearance. Allow me to pose a few pointed questions: Would you want to date someone who weighs 700 pounds? Would you hire the job candidate who shows up to the job interview unshaven and in bedraggled clothing? Would you set your daughter up with a kid sporting a shirt that says, "I'm your next one night stand"? If you answered "no" to any of the above, you care about looks and first impressions to a certain degree. The truth is that we all do, even if some of u...

In order for a relationship to run smoothly, partners need to function as a team while still maintaining their distinct identities. It's a delicate balancing act many couples struggle to master. As I've stressed in recent posts, both individuals have to pull their own weight. If the same person is left doing all the chores every week -- whether it's cooking dinner, tending to the dogs, or doing the laundry -- while the other goes off to carouse with friends, how long do you think it will be before the former feels aggrieved? Chores should be divided evenly so that both parties can free up time for themselves, whether it's to go to the movies together or catch up with their buddies. (There are always exceptions, of course, as when couples agree that one will stay at home taking care of the children and the household duties.) When a couple adopts a team mentality, they essentially leave selfishness at the door. They make concessions for one another and, rather...

It goes without saying that we should all fall in love with someone who treasures our presence rather than takes advantage of it. Someone who will covet our heart, not trample on it. Someone who will not exercise the power you've given them to hurt you. Ah, easier said than done, right? In a perfect world, every relationship would last a lifetime. No one would experience relationship blues of any sort. And the divorce rate would certainly not be in the neighborhood of 50 percent. The truth is that relationships take serious work -- a lot more than some couples are willing to put in. When you first meet and get with someone, you have your blinders on. They seem perfect to you in every way. You picture yourself walking down the aisle, having kids, and living a blissful life together. Then, reality sets in. You have arguments about matters both petty and serious. You can't seem to agree on anything, whether it's what to eat or where to vacation next. You encounter fi...

I think you can also use the word "selfish" to describe such behavior. We've all had at least one friend who ditches us when they jump into a relationship and come running back once that relationship has ended. One of my closest friends -- my wife and I have known him since high school -- falls into this category. I noted on the blog last year that he pulled a major disappearing act in the 8-month stretch he was with his then-girlfriend. One day, out of nowhere, I start receiving calls and invitations from him to hang out again. It's as if he had morphed from Mr. Indifferent to the clingiest person you'll ever meet. It took him awhile to come out and say that the relationship was officially done, but the fact he'd suddenly become so available again gave it away. He never gave specifics on why the relationship failed -- only saying that he broke up with her because he didn't want to hurt her. (We'll never really know who actually did the break...

Google "making out gross" and you'll find a plethora of websites and message boards in which hordes of women echo that very sentiment. Here are a couple of comments made by women who find french kissing all but revolting: "I am not a fan of prolonged kissing sessions/making out. It doesn't do much for me when it's with someone I like, and it repulses me if I am not very into the person." "I very infrequently enjoy making out. I'm no germophobe, but the thought of someone's warm, wet salivary secretions being pushed into my mouth and back into their mouth over and over again is just nasty." "My nose is almost always blocked so I can't really breathe when I make out...Also...It's a little boring? Like just sitting there making out? Ehn..." "I have a slight issue with people being up in my face for too long. It makes me start to panic. So yeah, prolonged kissing can be an issue." Interesting, huh? ...

In many relationships, partners are particularly finicky about how much they feel their partner should weigh. As someone who prefers curvier women, I'll admit that I've told my wife I prefer she not get too skinny . But it seems most women (and men, for that matter) have the opposite dilemma: their partners insist that they keep their weight at or below a certain threshold. Notice how I used the word "prefer" above when referring to my wife's weight. If she chooses to lose more than I'd like, that's really her decision. I won't love her any less for it. If she were to gain weight, I'd still love her just the same. I would never put pressure on her to cater to my preferences. I might only become more emphatic in my desire that she gain or lose weight if I see her going too far in one direction. When health becomes a serious concern, that's when I'll make sure she hears me loud and clear. I think it's perfectly normal for our part...