Beware of people who seem awfully nice for no reason, as this usually means they're trying to get something out of you. Notice that I use the word "usually." There are a handful of people out there who are genuinely nice and expect nothing in return, but they're the exception rather than the rule. For the most part, people instinctively know that when they're nice to someone -- including giving them unsolicited compliments -- they're likely to create a favorable impression and put them in a good mood, thus making them more likely to say "yes" once a request is made. As I've noted in other posts, the principle of reciprocity holds that when someone does something nice for us, we feel compelled to pay it forward in the future. You see this all the time with waiters at restaurants who will butter up clientele in hopes of coming away with a good tip. For example, I've seen waiters and waitresses do everything from chat up my gregariou...

The things we value most are those we have to work hard to obtain or achieve. If someone were to hand you a trophy with your name and "world's best swimmer" engraved on it when you couldn't swim to save your life, would it mean anything to you? Of course not. You didn't earn it, so it holds no value. If losing weight were as easy as waving a magic wand, do you think one would still feel the same sense of accomplishment as they would upon completing an intense weight-loss program? Not at all. It's one thing to get something done -- it's another to overcome an arduous challenge that tests our patience and mettle. There's a reason most people blow their diets and New Year's resolutions and fail to get through law school and Ph.D. programs. When the going gets tough, many people buckle under the pressure and give up. That's precisely why reaching the finish line can be so gratifying. If something comes too easy, though, we tend not to a...

According to spontaneous trait transference , people will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. In other words, the traits you attribute to others are attributed right back to you. Interestingly, one study found that this effect took place even when people knew certain traits didn't describe the people who had talked about them. It seems that whatever you say about other people influences how people see you. If you describe someone else as trustworthy and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly bashing people behind their backs, people will begin to link such qualities to you. I suppose what's also at play here is that people might think -- whether consciously or subconcsciously -- that the person is projecting his or her own qualities onto others, especially if they describe the individual this way repeatedly. So there you have it. Complimenting other...