Skip to main content

Beware of people who are TOO nice...

Beware of people who seem awfully nice for no reason, as this usually means they're trying to get something out of you.

Notice that I use the word "usually."

There are a handful of people out there who are genuinely nice and expect nothing in return, but they're the exception rather than the rule.

For the most part, people instinctively know that when they're nice to someone -- including giving them unsolicited compliments -- they're likely to create a favorable impression and put them in a good mood, thus making them more likely to say "yes" once a request is made.

As I've noted in other posts, the principle of reciprocity holds that when someone does something nice for us, we feel compelled to pay it forward in the future.

You see this all the time with waiters at restaurants who will butter up clientele in hopes of coming away with a good tip. For example, I've seen waiters and waitresses do everything from chat up my gregarious nephew to call me "boss" to literally flirt with me!

They're not being nice just because they're good people. They obviously have something up their sleeve.

You also see this principle in action at department stores, where pushy salespeople will try to endear themselves to you in order to land a sale and score a handsome commission.

But such behavior isn't limited to those who have a financial incentive to get in your good graces.

We see it every day with people in our immediate social circle -- from friends to coworkers.

I'm sure you've noticed someone you know being unusually nice one day, only to ask you for a favor an hour or two later. This is no coincidence, folks. It would be in the realm of possibility to say that some sly individuals plan this out days, if not weeks, in advance -- depending on the request.

On the surface, a compliment may seem like a purely unselfish act, but why bother if you know that person has nothing to offer in the future?

If you know you'll need him or her to finish a project on deadline, get to the grocery store while your car is in the shop, or watch your kids for you while you enjoy much-needed alone time with your spouse, you're much more likely to play nice.

Once you no longer need the person, sucking up to them doesn't really serve a purpose.

Sadly, even the nicest gestures often come with strings attached. So be wary of people who only seem nice when they want to pry something from you, as they're unlikely to change their ways.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated.  In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel.  If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor.  In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better.  If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps.  But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying.  If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...