Rather be by yourself than around fake friends? You're not alone. Rather be alone than in a relationship with a superficial individual? Join the club. Every coin has two sides. Similarly, many people we come across on a daily basis are unapologetically two-faced. Here are just a few reasons why people struggle to be genuine: They succumb to social pressure, relinquishing their individuality in the process.  They think they need to be different in order to gain approval from others, even if "different" means shallow and conniving.  They're selfish . They want to get their way, and they don't care whom they have to backstab -- and in what fashion -- to do so. They have a low self-esteem. These people firmly believe that being themselves isn't good enough, so they must resort to being deceptive and disingenuous.  That being said, never pay any mind to those who say it's better to be around fake people than it is to enjoy your own company. ...

Many people assume that if someone is quiet and unassuming, they must either be antisocial or have low self-esteem. But this couldn't be farther from the truth. Unfortunately, those who make such baseless characterizations may assume that there's something about them that the quiet individual doesn't like. In other words, they take it personally. Or, since they know little about them, the easiest thing to do is fill in the gaps themselves and label the person however they please. This demonstrates that the ones passing judgment are either insecure, or they can't help but attribute negative qualities to the person before getting to know them. The truth of the matter is that some of us take a little longer to warm up than others do. In the case of a new job, we may need a few weeks before we feel comfortable enough in to socialize more (about non-work related matters, that is) with peers. Some of us are introverted. This doesn't mean we loathe people, but ...

How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves . If they treat others with kindness and respect, chances are they respect and are kind and compassionate with themselves as well. If, however, they treat others terribly, deep down they're likely unhappy with themselves and, more generally, with the life they lead overall. Narcissists tend to fall under this category because even though they may project an air of self-confidence, they're really trying to overcompensate for self-doubt and low self-esteem. It's been said that misery loves company. If people are feeling miserable, they often look for ways to upset others so those negative vibes can rub off on them. Maybe they tell you that you look fat in that dress, they leave you hanging with no explanation after you both agreed to meet up for drinks, or they reel off a list of your past mistakes -- all to get under your skin. Sure, you might  simply catch someone at the wrong m...

In life, you must always remember to focus on the right people . Whom do I refer to when I say "the right people"? Those who inspire you , of course. Whether it's a parent who raised you all by herself, a teacher who taught you a valuable lesson or two, or an important figure in history whose contributions have resonated deeply with you, these are the kinds of individuals who deserve a permanent place in our thoughts. On the other hand, we must resist the urge to ruminate on people who engender in us a sense of negativity that's hard to shake off -- the ones who bring us down the very second we think of them. That may include an obnoxious boss, a jaded ex who can't take no for an answer, or a friend who only reaches out to you when she needs you. Your mind is cluttered enough as it is. Why waste whatever mental real estate you have available on people who simply aren't worthy of your thoughts? They sure as hell aren't thinking of you, so why shou...

I know several people who are well into their 30s and down in the dumps about their seemingly endless quest to find true love. But what I've also noticed is that they hold a very low opinion of themselves . Their low self-esteem has led to an acute sense of despondency in their lives. If they don't love themselves, how can they expect to love someone else? As I've stated in prior entries, you should never view a partner as completing your life. Only you can make your like whole. Once you've achieved that, a partner serves to complement or enhance it. Saying that your life is complete only with a partner is putting undue pressure on him or her to fill a void that you yourself -- and no one else -- should fill. Many relationships fail because one person feels the other falls short of his expectations. The individual may not realize, however, that the root of the problem lies not with the partner, but with himself: he might not be living up to his own expectation...