Skip to main content

Looking for love? Love yourself FIRST

I know several people who are well into their 30s and down in the dumps about their seemingly endless quest to find true love.

But what I've also noticed is that they hold a very low opinion of themselves. Their low self-esteem has led to an acute sense of despondency in their lives.

If they don't love themselves, how can they expect to love someone else?

As I've stated in prior entries, you should never view a partner as completing your life. Only you can make your like whole. Once you've achieved that, a partner serves to complement or enhance it.

Saying that your life is complete only with a partner is putting undue pressure on him or her to fill a void that you yourself -- and no one else -- should fill.

Many relationships fail because one person feels the other falls short of his expectations. The individual may not realize, however, that the root of the problem lies not with the partner, but with himself: he might not be living up to his own expectations.

If you don't take pride in your own talents, accomplishments, and the endearing qualities that make you who you are -- if you don't love yourself first and foremost -- then it's virtually impossible to love someone else.

Until you've reached that critical step in your life, don't feel so dispirited over being single. Rest assured that you'll find the right person at the right time. In the meantime, work on loving yourself -- that is what will set you on the right course.

Remember, happiness begins with you. You have to love yourself before you can love your partner, or anyone else for that matter.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters.  Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect.  And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them.  However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway).  Granted, if you're not lookin...