Skip to main content

Looking for love? Love yourself FIRST

I know several people who are well into their 30s and down in the dumps about their seemingly endless quest to find true love.

But what I've also noticed is that they hold a very low opinion of themselves. Their low self-esteem has led to an acute sense of despondency in their lives.

If they don't love themselves, how can they expect to love someone else?

As I've stated in prior entries, you should never view a partner as completing your life. Only you can make your like whole. Once you've achieved that, a partner serves to complement or enhance it.

Saying that your life is complete only with a partner is putting undue pressure on him or her to fill a void that you yourself -- and no one else -- should fill.

Many relationships fail because one person feels the other falls short of his expectations. The individual may not realize, however, that the root of the problem lies not with the partner, but with himself: he might not be living up to his own expectations.

If you don't take pride in your own talents, accomplishments, and the endearing qualities that make you who you are -- if you don't love yourself first and foremost -- then it's virtually impossible to love someone else.

Until you've reached that critical step in your life, don't feel so dispirited over being single. Rest assured that you'll find the right person at the right time. In the meantime, work on loving yourself -- that is what will set you on the right course.

Remember, happiness begins with you. You have to love yourself before you can love your partner, or anyone else for that matter.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...