There are those in our lives whom we consider genuinely good people. They're positive, helpful, accommodating. They've been there for us when we've needed them. We deem them a definite enhancement to our lives. It's for this reason we may be astonished to find that they're single, and chances are they've been a bachelor or bachelorette for quite a while. "But they'd make the perfect catch," we tell ourselves or others with bewilderment. We later discover it isn't that they can't land a date, for their good looks and charisma have been known to draw a healthy number of prospects. It's that they're super picky. We might try to fix them up with someone we know, but they always seem to find fault with something, and it is usually in the domain of attractiveness. For example, some women refuse to date men who are not taller than them. Then there are men who will not give the time of day to a woman who goes beyond a certain ...

Those who try too hard to be liked by everyone demonstrate two things: (1) they're insecure (2) they need others' approval/validation to feel better about themselves . They're the ones who cunningly adapt their personality to get in the other person's good graces. Consequently, they come off as being less genuine, willing to do almost anything to bolster their appeal. For example, they might say they share your passion for baseball or gardening when, in reality, they wouldn't be caught dead watching a game or fiddling with soil. I like to call these people fakes, charlatans, posers. There's a fine line between being gregarious and trotting out a deceptive persona. I urge people to be true to themselves -- to let the real them shine through. No one says that everyone has to like you. No one says you need the approval of all those around you. The day you relinquish the need for others' validation is the day you'll feel much happier in and about ...