How many people do you encounter on a daily basis who seemingly ooze negativity? They find a problem for every solution. They make mountains out of molehills. They play the role of devil's advocate or contrarian any chance they get.  Negative and dramatic people are a drain on our mental and emotional resources. They thrive on theatrics and do nothing but try to drag us down with them. Misery surely loves company, and they'll stop at nothing until you're down in the dumps with them.  They say you can't change the people around you. But if you think about it, you can in fact  change (as in replace or eliminate) the people who surround you.  It's time to free yourself from the grips of toxic, self-esteem-shattering, soul-destroying individuals! A primary reason why so many of us have a hard time distancing ourselves from negative folks is because we've known them for a long time and have invested so much time and energy into the relationship that we'll do vir...

You've likely read at least a few posts on this blog that stress the importance of letting go -- both for your health and well-being. But what does letting go really mean? In truth, there is more to it than just telling someone you never wish to see them again. In fact, you can let go of someone without removing them from your life entirely.  It's not so much about physically letting go, but mentally disconnecting in a way that loosens the individual's hold on you. Examples include: Changing the labels you place on a person or an event.  Perhaps you call Josh "loudmouth" because of his penchant for spewing bunk at work. Or, you've labeled the upcoming birthday family party you're dreading having to go to as the "party from hell."      By assigning these descriptors, you've given       them permission to to aggravate you. In       essence, you've given them far too much      importance....

Today is most certainly a gift. That's why they call it the present.  Yesterday is in the past and cannot be changed. Tomorrow has yet to arrive. While we can plan for the future in certain ways, we'll never be in control of it entirely. All we have is the present moment to shape our lives in whatever ways we see fit. Right now, the present seems a little bleak because of the coronavirus pandemic we're all grappling with. But as I advised in my last posts, there are myriad things we can do with the additional downtime -- from enjoying existing hobbies or cultivating new ones to striving toward goals like learning a new language or how to play a musical instrument. American composer Irving Berlin said that life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it. In other words, we spend the bulk of our lives responding to events over which we have little control. And the rest of it really depends on us. We're responding to this health crisi...

If there's something we could all agree on, it's that there is always going to be something about every individual in our life -- from our partner to our friends to our coworkers -- that we don't necessarily like. There's always going to be a trait, tendency, or quirk that gets under our skin and that we would probably do away with if given the choice. Maybe they're a tad cheap. Perhaps they're a bit stuck-up. They could very well be messy, aloof, or prone to lying. Hopefully, we are able to turn a blind eye to these perceived shortcomings. But for those things that aren't as easy to gloss over, it's up to us to decide what we're willing or not willing to tolerate. The key question becomes: At what point does something we perceive as a character flaw in another person become too much to handle? Let's be fair, though. It isn't as if we're perfect either. So if we decide to cut ties with someone because of, say, their substa...

We all have at least a couple of people in our lives who only show interest in us when they need something. Sadly, these individuals might be people we were very close to earlier in our lives. Maybe it's someone you worked with at your last company, a friend you've known since early childhood, or even a sibling you used to do everything with. Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves in a situation where we've made repeated attempts to get a hold of or hang out with the person in question, but they're always busy. Our calls go straight to voicemail and may not be returned for weeks, if we're lucky. Our invitations to meet up are met with hesitation, as if we were pulling their teeth. And it isn't as if we're reaching out because we necessarily need something. Maybe we just want to catch up over drinks or check out the new car they bought several months ago, but haven't yet invited us to see. When you feel as though you're pushing the other...

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...