Never allow negative people -- the naysayers, the Debbie Downers, the half-glass-empty crowd -- turn you into   them. We all have bad days, but that's no reason to want our bad vibes to rub off on those who seem happy and content. Misery may yearn for company, but we shouldn't feel compelled to be that company. If people find themselves in the whole, they need to work through their problems on their own. Instead of aiming their frustration at other people, they should turn to them for support. They should see them as a source of comfort rather than as an annoyance. In the end, the people whom these negative folks wish were just as unhappy as they are would probably do anything to turn their frown upside down. Needless to say, they'd be directing their ire at someone who, chances are, would be disposed to lend a hand in any way possible. But as we well know, people who are in a crappy mood don't always think rationally. They focus only on themselves, and ...

Go to a mall, grocery store, or even your local gym and you're bound to see people with a sullen look on their face. It doesn't matter that they're carrying around a Louis Vuitton purse or driving a Mercedes Benz -- their sulkiness communicates that they're not happy. While we can never know for sure unless we ask, I would venture a guess that a great deal of them know they're not living the kind of life they want to live; instead, they're living the life others want them to live. Some people strive to impress others, essentially living their lives on others' terms.  Unfortunately, many of these individuals don't realize until later in life that we must each find our own path to happiness. What makes your friend or neighbor happy won't necessarily fulfill you, whether in terms of hobbies, romantic relationships, or careers.  Just because you're not on the same road as someone else doesn't mean you're lost. Finding your own p...

Steer clear of those who hurt you more than they love you. Avoid those who drain you more than they replenish you. Stay far away from people who bring you more stress than they do peace and joy. Distance yourself from those who try to stunt your growth rather than applaud it. I know what you're probably thinking: In principle, this sounds fine and dandy, but you couldn't possibly avoid every person who occasionally makes you feel like crap, from your toxic boss to your meddling in-laws. To a certain extent, that's true. But one of the most effective ways to navigate relationships with difficult people is to not take what they say or do to heart. If you take everything they say personally, you're essentially surrendering power over your emotions to them. You're enabling them to win. No one has permission to make you feel bad unless you grant it to them. Remember, many of these people are unhappy and disgruntled in their own lives, so they see to it ...

How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves . If they treat others with kindness and respect, chances are they respect and are kind and compassionate with themselves as well. If, however, they treat others terribly, deep down they're likely unhappy with themselves and, more generally, with the life they lead overall. Narcissists tend to fall under this category because even though they may project an air of self-confidence, they're really trying to overcompensate for self-doubt and low self-esteem. It's been said that misery loves company. If people are feeling miserable, they often look for ways to upset others so those negative vibes can rub off on them. Maybe they tell you that you look fat in that dress, they leave you hanging with no explanation after you both agreed to meet up for drinks, or they reel off a list of your past mistakes -- all to get under your skin. Sure, you might  simply catch someone at the wrong m...

Want to know one reason so many of us are unhappy with our lives? You guessed it: our jobs. Want to know why our jobs make us this way?  Because we spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about how miserable they are.  Unfortunately, far too many of us fail to: Break out of these negative thoughts and redirect our attention towards things that actually make us happy Cultivate hobbies outside of work  Instead, we think of our jobs as the be-all and end-all of our existence. We count on work to fulfill us in ways that are unrealistic.  Ideally, we all want jobs that pay well, involve working with great co-workers, and keep us mentally stimulated.  While such jobs certainly exist, we'll always take issue with some aspect of our jobs. As I've said before, no job is perfect.  Relying upon your job to fulfill you is a recipe for disaster.  As we well know, things at work can change in the blink of an eye. You ...

You wouldn't stay on a sinking ship, would you? So why stay in a relationship you know is faltering? Whether your partner is abusive, lazy, or doesn't bother putting in the time and effort he used to, it's probably time to kiss the relationship goodbye. As I've noted in my prior posts, I encourage people to voice their concerns to their partner before taking this drastic step. A good heart-to-heart where both parties clear the air is essential to the health of the relationship. But if your partner refuses to change his ways, that's a clear-cut sign it's time to move on. Sometimes it isn't that your partner has done anything overtly wrong. Rather, you lack chemistry, or both of you have lost the spark that once drew you together. It isn't necessarily anyone's fault, but even in this case, it isn't advisable to remain in a relationship with the person. You'd be wasting time on each other when there are other people out there for both ...

We've all heard the phrase "misery loves company." Indeed, some people actually like seeing others struggling or unhappy in general. But why? Generally, those who fall into this group are unhappy with one or more aspects of their own lives, and it makes them feel better to know someone else is in the same boat. Is it any wonder that message boards and support groups are more popular than ever before? If things aren't going well for you, the last thing you may care to witness is a happy event in someone else's life. For example, if you just got fired and learn that your best friend got a promotion, you might be tempted to undermine his accomplishment by telling him that companies truthfully don't value their employees, and that he'll always be in danger of being fired nonetheless. Many parents who come to regret having children may try to pressure their childfree friends into having kids of their own -- not so their friends can experience the many ...