I want to preface this post by saying that no one in a relationship -- be it platonic or amorous -- is perfect. No one is entirely blameless over the course of relational ups and downs. We all possess flaws, some more regrettable than others.  That being said, having the finger pointed at you all the time -- despite the fact you know the other person shares blame or is entirely at fault -- can be demoralizing.  It hints at one important truth Those who take it upon themselves to make everyone else the culprit and themselves the victim suffer from an acute lack of humility. Whether they have an inflated ego or were never taught to look deep within and concede when they've wrong, these people have a penchant for projecting their follies onto others.  They may act as though they have not the slightest idea they're in the wrong, but it's all a charade to hide their culpability behind the guise of obliviousness and not be held accountable.  How to approach these folks The...

Never should we allow others to undervalue us -- nor should we let ourselves do it. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that is completely accurate -- the sole assessment that really matters -- is your own. Self-worth, or self-esteem, results from our striving to treat ourselves with the love, care, compassion, and respect we deserve. Your self-worth can only be determined by you because it comes from within. The higher your self-esteem, the happier you are. And as I've stressed in my other posts, happiness emanates from inside of us. It's obvious that not everyone we come across in our lives -- from partners and friends to bosses -- will realize our worth. Still, that should never decrease our value in our own eyes. In relationships in which we don't feel valued, we have the option to address our feelings with the other person. If that doesn't bear fruit, we must decide whether the individual deserves a place in our lives. Now, this do...

While fake people have an image to maintain, real people just don't care about what others think of them. Fake people worry incessantly about what house, car, or clothing will make them look the best. Real people, on the other hand, are humble. They recognize that if a person is going to judge them based on whether they own a Corolla or Benz, that person shouldn't be in their life. Fake people alter their personality -- not to mention their values, beliefs, and attitudes -- just to appease others in a given situation. Real people stick to their principles no matter how much they're pressured to change. Fake people want to be loved by everyone so badly that they're willing to part with those things that make them unique. Real people would rather be hated for who they are than loved for who they're not. Real people know they may not always get their way, or be the most popular/admired person in the room, but they value integrity too much to sell out ...

Rather than set expectations , we should aim to establish clear-cut  goals . Though these may sound similar, they vary in terms of how a person generally approaches not meeting a goal vs. not having their expectations met. When you set goals, you're doing so knowing full well that you may not achieve them. And even if you don't, you recognize that you can try again by retooling your strategy, or changing said goals altogether. When you set expectations of yourself or other people, you're already anticipating a certain outcome. If that outcome doesn't live up to what you had in mind, you're bound to feel upset and defeated. While being confident and "expecting" to achieve a goal isn't necessarily a bad thing, we need to remain humble and open to the possibility that things may not go exactly as planned, often through no fault of our own. For example, you might get psyched about landing what seems like the perfect job, but fall a little short...

In recent weeks, I've written several posts encouraging readers to take pride in their true selves and not change their personality, quirks, values, or beliefs simply to appease others. And with that I segue into this important question: If you had to choose one quality you'd like to be known for, what would it be? Here are a few examples: Being kind Being sweet Being smart Being hard-working Being genuine Being humble Being sociable Being honest Being loyal While I wouldn't mind being recognized for my hard-working nature or humility, I think intelligence takes the cake. I am far from the most gregarious person at work -- I won't win any awards for my people skills anytime soon -- but people regard me as intelligent, and to me, it's the ultimate compliment. I was always a fantastic student -- getting everything from history trophies and reading certificates to writing medals. I graduated from college summa cum laude. Though I'm not i...